Listening: Step one, session two

At that time Jesus declared, "I thank thee, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that thou hast hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to babes; yea, Father, for such was thy gracious will. All things have been delivered to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and any one to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." - Mt 11, 25-30

It is no accident that both Jesuits and Benedictines start their journeys with an emphasis on listening to God with the heart:

L I S T E N  carefully, my child, to your master's precepts, and incline the ear of your heart. - Prov 4, 20, as quoted at the beginning of the Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict

This session starts with a reminder of how misplaced my spiritual pride has been. (I have a feeling that this journey is going to be another painful one, as growth so often is. I suppose that's the chief reason we so rarely grow.)  But there is no room for this underlying tendency I have had to take affirmation from my ability to "get it," whatever the latest "it" is. I pray that it will not take a humiliation (in the traditional sense of the word) for me to receive the humility to which God is calling me. No one can know anything except by the grace of God, and I am certainly not the shining exception to that truth.

I have always viewed this passage as a bit of a non sequitur, But for me, now, this second paragraph flows from the first.  My challenge is to trust in God rather than trust in me and attribute it to God. The latter is my modus operandi; after all, I'm pretty good at figuring out what I need and what I need to do.  But this approach keeps me perpetually in the middle of a war between my own will and what I know to be God's. There's nothing easy about that yoke!

So I am hoping that this first journey through these Exercises will help break my prideful insistence on self-dependency and my need for the approval of others, and will replace them with a gentle, restful trust in God.