We should have known. Our oldest wants to drop everything, take the kids out of school, and drive here right now. The funeral is probably not until Thursday, though we won't know that for certain until tomorrow. Fortunately we can exercise a little control over the situation: we're probably paying for their hotel room, and if they want it a day early it's going to be at their own expense. Plus, they need to use our van, but we figured out before we left last week that we have a slow leak in one tire. I've arranged for a friend to take it tomorrow to have it looked at after he gets off of work. So they'll at least have to wait for that to be squared away.
At least we have someplace for our dog to stay. Col. Potter will hang out with his sister again, as he did when we were on vacation last summer. There's another reason they'll have to wait to leave: Potter won't be picked up until after work tomorrow.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
At peace
Talk about a week of opposite extremes.
Immediately after Emma's birth on Wednesday afternoon, mrs tg and I hit the road to MD to spend Thanksgiving with her family. We'd been pretty well planning on that even before her mom entered the hospital last Saturday, and were trying to figure out our logistics with our daughter's labor scheduled to be induced starting Wednesday morning. We stayed long enough to see Emma and take a couple pictures, but haven't held her yet, as they were trying to get her temperature up and so had her wrapped up and bundling against her momma.
Back here, mrs tg's mom wasn't doing so well. Weakened by the chemo, she apparently picked up an infection that she wasn't doing well fighting off. When we arrived she was pretty thoroughly sedated, to keep her comfortable with the ventilator tube in place. But she had increasing difficulty with her blood pressure and heart rate, and went home to the Lord yesterday afternoon.
She'd been in such pain, and had been so weak, but she's free from all that now. Rejoice in the Lord's love, Mom.
Immediately after Emma's birth on Wednesday afternoon, mrs tg and I hit the road to MD to spend Thanksgiving with her family. We'd been pretty well planning on that even before her mom entered the hospital last Saturday, and were trying to figure out our logistics with our daughter's labor scheduled to be induced starting Wednesday morning. We stayed long enough to see Emma and take a couple pictures, but haven't held her yet, as they were trying to get her temperature up and so had her wrapped up and bundling against her momma.
Back here, mrs tg's mom wasn't doing so well. Weakened by the chemo, she apparently picked up an infection that she wasn't doing well fighting off. When we arrived she was pretty thoroughly sedated, to keep her comfortable with the ventilator tube in place. But she had increasing difficulty with her blood pressure and heart rate, and went home to the Lord yesterday afternoon.
She'd been in such pain, and had been so weak, but she's free from all that now. Rejoice in the Lord's love, Mom.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Editing
Part of my job involves editing others' writing.
AarrrrrrrrrrRRRRggghhh!!!
I'm okay now. Breathing deeply, and thanking God that I still have a job I really do mostly enjoy.
AarrrrrrrrrrRRRRggghhh!!!
I'm okay now. Breathing deeply, and thanking God that I still have a job I really do mostly enjoy.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Then, Monday
Well, Sunday night the cold I'd been fighting off for several days hit with one of those keep-you-up-all-night post-nasal drips, and by Monday morning I was hoarse. It was a good thing I didn't have to sing anymore!
But far worse was the phone call I got at lunchtime. As I started in on my sandwich, my cell phone rang. I looked down and recognized my cousin's phone number. He calls me occasionally so we can touch base, but I'd just seen him a week before, when mrs tg and I were in MD. So I was pretty sure this couldn't be good news.
I had no idea.
He was calling to tell me that his sister's husband had died unexpectedly. I'd only met the guy once, but I know how happy my cousin had become with him over the past few years. What a blessing he was for her.
Here are links to a couple articles in the Bend Bulletin, for which he wrote. I don't know how long they'll remain accessible.
I hardly knew the guy, and I still miss him.
But far worse was the phone call I got at lunchtime. As I started in on my sandwich, my cell phone rang. I looked down and recognized my cousin's phone number. He calls me occasionally so we can touch base, but I'd just seen him a week before, when mrs tg and I were in MD. So I was pretty sure this couldn't be good news.
I had no idea.
He was calling to tell me that his sister's husband had died unexpectedly. I'd only met the guy once, but I know how happy my cousin had become with him over the past few years. What a blessing he was for her.
Here are links to a couple articles in the Bend Bulletin, for which he wrote. I don't know how long they'll remain accessible.
I hardly knew the guy, and I still miss him.
For starters, Sunday
It was fabulous. The music went great. Matthew Kelly's talk was excellent, the best I've ever heard from him. Yeah, there was some familiar material, but packaged in a way that was really a coherent discussion of his conversion story, and why it is so vitally important that we be transformed, and how we can start participating with God in that process in our lives. I've heard there may have been as many as 1600 people there; the main sanctuary held 1000, and they had a sizable overflow room set up with an audio system and video projector. It was an exciting night to be a part of.
So much to write about . . .
. . . and there's no way to cover it all together. Hopefully I'll get time for a couple of posts . . .
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Not "happiness." Joy!
Inspired by the theme of our upcoming Matthew Kelly event
There are (at least) a couple different ways we try to live as Christians.
The first, which many people seem to take, is to treat Christianity as a set of behavioral standards to which we strive, to varying degrees and mixed (at best) success. Its goal is to help us to "be good," whatever that means. Some folks focus on the Ten Commandments, others on the Beatitudes. Some latch onto passages from St. Paul, such as Philippians 4, 8 or Galatians 5, 22, and try to live by them. Some of my fellow Catholics apply the church's teaching in the same way, as a set of restrictive rules. Others reject any or all of these as a straitjacket intended to keep us in line, to stifle our uniqueness, our individuality and, ultimately, our happiness.
Now, it isn't that I'm denigrating any of these wonderful and important sources, or putting down those who strive to live them. They have a vital place in our lives. It's just that too many Christians act as if the purpose of Christ's Incarnation was to show us how we can become worthy of salvation by our right living. This is the approach that my in-laws' neighbor has apparently followed, and I've heard very good and well-meaning people state that the purpose of Jesus' life was to teach us to live. But as wonderful as the Beatitudes and the fruit of the Holy Spirit are, if they're just a new, more stringent standard for life, then Christ is not a savior, he's merely a social reformer. And the people I know who focus primarily on living up to such a standard are rarely joyful.
We didn't then and don't now need a new standard, nor even an example, that's impossible for us to meet. What we needed then as now, and have, is a Savior, to deliver us from the dominion of the darkness of sin. Though we're sinners, Jesus, who was not a sinner, laid down his life in place of ours, and has poured out the Holy Spirit upon us, to deliver us into his kingdom of light. So the purpose of Christianity isn't to polish us up to a point at which we no longer need a savior; it is that we may accept (and respond to) God's grace, which transforms us into the sons and daughters God envisions us to be. This is what fills us with joy!
It isn't that we must try to do for ourselves what Christ has done for us. It isn't that I'm good so that I may get to heaven. It is rather that I know what Christ has done for me, and I want to respond to it at every opportunity! I trust God enough to believe that God's revealed plan for my life is immeasurably superior to what I can figure out on my own, and so I strive to live according to that plan, by the help of the Holy Spirit who dwells within me. (And no, I'm not saying I'm there yet!)
The salvation that Christ has won for us is a cause for joy that is deeper than our circumstances. So it isn't that I'm not touched with sadness by what mrs tg's mom is going through right now; or for my fellow Jubilean whose father suffered a massive stroke; or over the other Jubilean, a vibrant young mom, newly diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor (latter two situations were first shared at Monday's otherwise excellent rehearsal). We'd be insensitive to pretend the world is all blue sky and sunshine when such storms are blowing. We don't neglect praying for their healing, both temporally and eternally, and reaching out to them, because of some pie-in-the-sky notion that all will be well, God will provide for their every need and those of their loved ones. And yet our sadness, our concern, our reaching out to them are undergirt by the confident joy of knowing that, indeed, somehow, God will provide for their needs, not only in this world but - as ultimately matters most - for all eternity.
There are (at least) a couple different ways we try to live as Christians.
The first, which many people seem to take, is to treat Christianity as a set of behavioral standards to which we strive, to varying degrees and mixed (at best) success. Its goal is to help us to "be good," whatever that means. Some folks focus on the Ten Commandments, others on the Beatitudes. Some latch onto passages from St. Paul, such as Philippians 4, 8 or Galatians 5, 22, and try to live by them. Some of my fellow Catholics apply the church's teaching in the same way, as a set of restrictive rules. Others reject any or all of these as a straitjacket intended to keep us in line, to stifle our uniqueness, our individuality and, ultimately, our happiness.
Now, it isn't that I'm denigrating any of these wonderful and important sources, or putting down those who strive to live them. They have a vital place in our lives. It's just that too many Christians act as if the purpose of Christ's Incarnation was to show us how we can become worthy of salvation by our right living. This is the approach that my in-laws' neighbor has apparently followed, and I've heard very good and well-meaning people state that the purpose of Jesus' life was to teach us to live. But as wonderful as the Beatitudes and the fruit of the Holy Spirit are, if they're just a new, more stringent standard for life, then Christ is not a savior, he's merely a social reformer. And the people I know who focus primarily on living up to such a standard are rarely joyful.
We didn't then and don't now need a new standard, nor even an example, that's impossible for us to meet. What we needed then as now, and have, is a Savior, to deliver us from the dominion of the darkness of sin. Though we're sinners, Jesus, who was not a sinner, laid down his life in place of ours, and has poured out the Holy Spirit upon us, to deliver us into his kingdom of light. So the purpose of Christianity isn't to polish us up to a point at which we no longer need a savior; it is that we may accept (and respond to) God's grace, which transforms us into the sons and daughters God envisions us to be. This is what fills us with joy!
It isn't that we must try to do for ourselves what Christ has done for us. It isn't that I'm good so that I may get to heaven. It is rather that I know what Christ has done for me, and I want to respond to it at every opportunity! I trust God enough to believe that God's revealed plan for my life is immeasurably superior to what I can figure out on my own, and so I strive to live according to that plan, by the help of the Holy Spirit who dwells within me. (And no, I'm not saying I'm there yet!)
The salvation that Christ has won for us is a cause for joy that is deeper than our circumstances. So it isn't that I'm not touched with sadness by what mrs tg's mom is going through right now; or for my fellow Jubilean whose father suffered a massive stroke; or over the other Jubilean, a vibrant young mom, newly diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor (latter two situations were first shared at Monday's otherwise excellent rehearsal). We'd be insensitive to pretend the world is all blue sky and sunshine when such storms are blowing. We don't neglect praying for their healing, both temporally and eternally, and reaching out to them, because of some pie-in-the-sky notion that all will be well, God will provide for their every need and those of their loved ones. And yet our sadness, our concern, our reaching out to them are undergirt by the confident joy of knowing that, indeed, somehow, God will provide for their needs, not only in this world but - as ultimately matters most - for all eternity.
Working and playing
'Twas a good trip to MD. While mrs tg's mom was probably about the same - though both eating and getting around a little bit better - as when we last saw her, that was a vast improvement over the interim. Tumors seem to be shrinking in response to treatment. I imagine she'll show improved energy this week as her body gets a break from chemo.
It was really good for us to be there. Her dad got a break from cooking, which should carry forward somewhat as we managed to a) leave some leftovers, b) let him freeze a casserole that someone brought while we were there, and c) make some stew (from homemade stock) that we put up in the freezer for them, as well. With other kitchen-capable family coming in for a few days starting tomorrow, and if he manages his stored resources by mixing them in with freshly cooked meals on alternate days, he may end up with several weeks of not having to plan and cook nightly.
Also got some yard work in. Not nearly all the leaves have fallen yet, but at least there will be 20 fewer bags of them for whoever deals with the rest. Was happy to be able help out a little on the finishing touches to the wheelchair ramp, and we got a little light housekeeping addressed, too.
Arrived home on Monday for a final rehearsal before our gig this coming Sunday. The rehearsal itself was great fun mixed with very challenging news; more on that in a separate post.
It was really good for us to be there. Her dad got a break from cooking, which should carry forward somewhat as we managed to a) leave some leftovers, b) let him freeze a casserole that someone brought while we were there, and c) make some stew (from homemade stock) that we put up in the freezer for them, as well. With other kitchen-capable family coming in for a few days starting tomorrow, and if he manages his stored resources by mixing them in with freshly cooked meals on alternate days, he may end up with several weeks of not having to plan and cook nightly.
Also got some yard work in. Not nearly all the leaves have fallen yet, but at least there will be 20 fewer bags of them for whoever deals with the rest. Was happy to be able help out a little on the finishing touches to the wheelchair ramp, and we got a little light housekeeping addressed, too.
Arrived home on Monday for a final rehearsal before our gig this coming Sunday. The rehearsal itself was great fun mixed with very challenging news; more on that in a separate post.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Great weekend
Twenty years ago my wife and I made a Marriage Encounter (ME) weekend. It was a real blessing for us, and temporarily rekindled the fervor of our relationship. We (and particularly, I) had deeper issues to deal with, though, so its medium-term benefits were not all they could have been. But in the last year or so we've reconnected with the ME community, and it's been really good for us. Over the past decade we've seen a real renaissance in our marriage, and ME really helps us to keep the fire of our love stoked, to keep making it a priority.
Yesterday we attended our first Day of Romance, a gathering of about 35 ME couples reasonably close to Cincinnati. That isn't necessarily very many couples for so large an area, but then again, it was a day long event, and a lot of couples - especially those with younger children - have trouble getting away for such. Anyway, there was one point in the day at which it would have been easy for mrs tg and I to get derailed, as an old obstacle popped up. But we were each able to stay in the moment and reaffirm each other, rather than either of us getting frustrated and giving up. It actually ended up contributing to a very uplifting day for us as a couple.
Last night we had a get together with my riding buddies and other friends and their wives for a bonfire and cookout. The weather was great, the fellowship greater. Good thing the calendar gave us an extra hour last night!
Today was another gorgeous day, so after mass, when mrs tg was at our youngest daughter's baby shower (she's due again in a month) I was able to get out for a short bike ride, about 20 miles or so. Then mrs tg and I enjoyed a nice evening together.
Not that the weekend was all roses. We have an ongoing family issue related to today's shower that has us both really frustrated. I hate to see the people I love not appreciate the treasures in their lives, especially when it reaches a point of putting them at risk. It's funny how our feelings can be so complex, how I can be mostly really pleased and satisfied with my life and simultaneously really sad and concerned about specific circumstances in it.
Heading to MD mid-week through the weekend, to spend time with mrs tg's mom and dad, maybe cook some meals and do some chores around the house, try to help out in whatever way we can as her mom presses on with her chemo. Will also have a chance to get together with other family and friends while there. We're really looking forward to the trip.
(Tom, how was your trip?)
Yesterday we attended our first Day of Romance, a gathering of about 35 ME couples reasonably close to Cincinnati. That isn't necessarily very many couples for so large an area, but then again, it was a day long event, and a lot of couples - especially those with younger children - have trouble getting away for such. Anyway, there was one point in the day at which it would have been easy for mrs tg and I to get derailed, as an old obstacle popped up. But we were each able to stay in the moment and reaffirm each other, rather than either of us getting frustrated and giving up. It actually ended up contributing to a very uplifting day for us as a couple.
Last night we had a get together with my riding buddies and other friends and their wives for a bonfire and cookout. The weather was great, the fellowship greater. Good thing the calendar gave us an extra hour last night!
Today was another gorgeous day, so after mass, when mrs tg was at our youngest daughter's baby shower (she's due again in a month) I was able to get out for a short bike ride, about 20 miles or so. Then mrs tg and I enjoyed a nice evening together.
Not that the weekend was all roses. We have an ongoing family issue related to today's shower that has us both really frustrated. I hate to see the people I love not appreciate the treasures in their lives, especially when it reaches a point of putting them at risk. It's funny how our feelings can be so complex, how I can be mostly really pleased and satisfied with my life and simultaneously really sad and concerned about specific circumstances in it.
Heading to MD mid-week through the weekend, to spend time with mrs tg's mom and dad, maybe cook some meals and do some chores around the house, try to help out in whatever way we can as her mom presses on with her chemo. Will also have a chance to get together with other family and friends while there. We're really looking forward to the trip.
(Tom, how was your trip?)
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