Abundant blessings!

I think I've learned to just appreciate times such as these when they come, rather than a) making them some sort of unachievable, obsessive end in themselves, or b) destroying them through an unconscious belief that I don't deserve them. A lot of folks end up applying either or both of these ineffective approaches to happiness in their lives; I know I've applied both in the past. It's nice to be able to simply appreciate such blessings as:

- to be able to look at the gradually decreasing yard debris where I successfully felled a mostly dead maple tree in my front yard on Saturday, without dropping it on our house or the street or myself, or killing or maiming myself with the biggest chain saw (by far!) that I've ever used; the whole time I was hearing the lessons my stepfather shared three decades ago, mainly "Keep the chain out of the dirt!"

- to be able to enjoy a truly splendid Father's Day, including nice phone calls from each of our daughters

- to enjoy both the regular and the special cycling outings with our riding group

- to spend pleasant evenings with a wonderful group of friends

- to participate in and contribute to our parish through Mass, music ministry, small faith-sharing groups, festival, etc.

- to continue to be blessed within the prayer group we helped get started 20 years ago, and to see the Holy Spirit still moving in our lives in powerful ways, always helping us to grow and be transformed

- to have such close friends that I can discuss even the most difficult things life offers without fear of losing their friendship, and to know how to couch those discussions even when a topic holds the potential to hurt them deeply but still must be addressed

- to see our prayers begin to be answered for our daughter and her estranged husband, when many might have given up hope for them at the point of the divorce, and yet to recognize that the need for continued prayer for them is still urgent, for they have all their original issues to overcome plus the pain of their more recent decisions

- to be able to speak words of comfort to a small, highly upset 22-month-old granddaughter as she received a half-dozen stitches in the horizontal split she opened between her upper lip and nose because she wasn't quite big enough to follow her four-year-old cousin's leap from the coffee table to the sofa; to know how much worse it could have been had the table's glass top broken under them instead; to show loving yet firm correction rather than angry recrimination to the older grandchild

- to be in better shape at 47 than I've ever been before

- to know that no blessing, and no challenge, serves any other purpose than to help us collectively to know God's love more deeply, and to more deeply love God in return.

Longing for simplicity

I used to believe that being complex or enigmatic was admirable. I was drawn to those who seemed to possess what I thought of as a captivating depth, layers of intrigue to discover. Conversely, I disdained simplicity or transparency as uninteresting, or even boring. In retrospect, I'd have to say that I thought of simple people as not being worth much of my attention.

How egotistical I was.

I still struggle against those prejudices, and find that I've long since taken on these traits that I so vainly valued, in ways of which I am certain I will never be free. I now treasure in others and long to find within myself those characteristics which I formerly scorned.

Perceptual weirdness

The oddest thing is going on in my brain.

Perhaps it’s from too much computer time, which would be strange, because I spend nearly all day on the computer nearly every work day. Maybe it’s a cumulative effect. At any rate, my brain feels as if my desk and computer screen are orthogonal to how they should be.

It’s hard to explain, and I’m sure weird to read, but here’s as close as I think I can get to describing what it feels like: it’s as if I’ve been holding my head over at a 90° angle for so long that my brain has gotten used to it and is automatically interpreting everything I see as being upright. Now, I know that such a phenomenon occurs after a couple of days when experimental subjects are provided with inverting glasses to look through for all their waking hours. But I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything like that happening with a 90° visual translation - if such a thing is even possible or practical.

Anyway, it’s a rather unusual feeling. Perhaps it’s just a weird effect of the astigmatism which a) I spend much of the day not correcting because I don’t typically wear my glasses when I’m doing computer work and b) I haven’t had checked in entirely too long. Or maybe I’m just a little lightheaded from not being caught up yet from fasting for my physical this morning (but my doc was really impressed with my resting heart rate. Cool!)

Or since I’m feeling weird, maybe it’s just the same thing that I tell my wife is going on with her when she says she’s feeling dizzy:

improved perception