The glory of humble obedience

At the juvenile level of popular culture, Jesus might be more admired had he defied the will of the Father. One can readily  imagine the herd of independent minds cheering his defiant," I want to be free to be ME!" To the more mature, he might seem to be a greater hero had his final surrender to his destiny been preceded by a titanic struggle against that destiny. Why do so many think the glory of the cross is diminished because Jesus' will and the will of the Father were perfectly one? I expect it is for the same reason that, as we discussed earlier, many people say that the original fall was a fall upward rather than a downward. Modern consciousness has no higher interest than itself.  - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus, Death on a Friday Afternoon

Yes, we seem to put out struggle against ourselves on a pedestal, as if the nobility in our obedience is found in the fact that we want to be disobedient and struggle not to be. There is, indeed, glory in a struggle, but it is not a greater glory than that of humbly accepting that God's will is greater than our own.

I have a good friend, probably my best friend, who desperately desires a different path for her life than the one she is on. I admire that she is determined to trust in God's will and follow his guidance rather than selfishly make decisions that could bring her wishes to fruition in a way other than God's revealed plan. I have never mentioned to her that, by her obedience, she is probably sparing someone else great pain. Instead, she chooses to bear her own, and trusts that God is going to work out her life according to His plan for her. 

I see God's glory revealed in her life as she obeys His will. I know it is a struggle for her, just as Jesus' agony in the garden reveals that his obedience to the Father was a struggle for him, too. 

The glory of the cross

 "Exploration into God is exploration into darkness, into the heart of darkness. Yes, to be sure, God is light. He is the light by which all light is light. In the words of the psalm, "In your light we see light." Yet great mystics of the Christian tradition speak of the darkness in which the light is known, a darkness inextricably connected to the cross. At the heart of darkness, the light of the world is dying on a cross, and the longest stride of soul is to see in this a strange glory . . . . The cross is not the eclipse of that glory but its shining forth, its epiphany." - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus, Death on a Friday Afternoon

Hard to believe I started this post five days ago, immediately after finishing my last one. I've read more since then, just haven't blogged more. 

My agenda this morning would be to finish this post right now, and move on to the dream that I had about the importance of subjugating our agendas to God's will so we can receive the gifts he greatly desires for us. Instead I am going to come back to these thoughts later, and this morning join in a global novena for peace. I think I'm going to find that the two things are related.

Like John, like Elizabeth, like Mary, like Jesus

Each of the principals in today's reading from St. Ambrose offers us something to emulate. Christ brings Grace, prenatal John recognizes His presence, Elizabeth responds to John's intrauterine testimony with humility and acknowledgement, Mary proclaims a wondrous canticle of God's greatness. Together, they offer, respond to, and acclaim the Father's wondrous grace and mercy.

At times in our lives we are each called to take on these various roles in the proclamation of the Gospel. Sometimes we are in need of grace; at others we are the one recognizing God's presence or proclaiming His love to someone else who desperately needs it.

We are all called to receive Christ and manifest His presence to the world.

More on humility

I was hoping to quote from the passage from The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas à Kempis, which I read in the breviary this morning, which was mainly focused on practical applications of humility. But my online source instead has the reading for the memorial of St. Lucy. This reading from St. Ambrose is also excellent, though, for the Advent season and for all who are seeking Christ, even though it comes from a book on virginity.

Whoever seeks Christ in this way, and finds him, can say: I held him fast, and I will not let him go before I bring him into my mother’s house, into the room of her who conceived me. What is this “house,” this “room,” but the deep and secret places of your heart?
Maintain this house, sweep out its secret recesses until it becomes immaculate and rises as a spiritual temple for a holy priesthood, firmly secured by Christ, the cornerstone, so that the Holy Spirit may dwell in it.
Whoever seeks Christ in this way, whoever prays to Christ in this way, is not abandoned by him; on the contrary, Christ comes again and again to visit such a person, for he is with us until the end of the world.

I find myself doing housekeeping of this sort during this Advent season, repenting of and renouncing those thought patterns that turn me inward toward myself rather than toward Christ.

I'm going to have to write about the passage from The Imitation of Christ later. Stuff in there really resonated with me, but I don't want to misquote it.

The voice, the Word

Yesterday the Office of Readings provided this wonderful reflection from St. Augustine that continues to amaze me every time I read it.

The word in my heart is to convey the love of God. Yet so often the "voice" of my actions falls short of that desire. I become like the mindless babbling into which we so often lapse when we are exhausted or frantic and lose our focus on the purpose of our speaking.

But also, too often I am a selfish voice, wanting to be loved for myself rather than desiring chiefly to let God be loved.

HE>i

Sometimes we must be willing to do what He is asking of us, even if we don't like what it might cost us.

HE must increase; i must decrease.

The end of perfectionism?

It appears that this job may make me more humble by disabusing me of the notion that mistakes from inattentiveness to detail are things that other people make.

Continuing with authority

I don't know that I will keep blogging from this wonderful book, Abba's Heart. It just seems as if I may have reached content that is best shared in the context of the rest of the book. However, I had begun one entry before I reached this point, about which I haven't had time to finish writing, and which seems well aligned with my most recent posts from the book. In this chapter, Neal has moved from general principles of authority to specific truths about the Father's authority that guide us as we walk in the delegated authority of sons and daughters that has now been restored to us. Each of these underscores a point which Neal has previously made: no matter what our personal experiences may have taught us to the contrary, authority is not evil. In fact, the Father's authority in particular is immeasurably, indescribably good.

The Father's authority is compassionate. I believe we see an example of this in the Holy Father's most recent encyclical. But in countless examples from the Gospels we see how Jesus repeatedly responds to those who are in difficult circumstances by putting the hurting individual's needs first. As he feeds the hungry, cures the sick, and raises the dead - even as he teaches the crowds - he is moved by compassion. Yet he never compromises the truth to do so: he doesn't tell the woman caught in adultery, the Samaritan woman at the well, or the tax collectors with whom he eats that it's okay to continue in sinful patterns of behavior.

The Father's authority is humble. Jesus doesn't shirk the Father's plan, even at the ultimate personal cost. I often wonder: how completely did the human Jesus have faith in his own resurrection? Was there ever doubt mingled with the anxious - even fearful - anticipation of the cup which he accepted in the Garden of Gethsemane? In front of Pilate, but before as well, he clearly he understood that he wasn't to be the sort of Messiah that his Hebrew brethren expected. His kingdom was to be greater, yet not an earthly kingdom. And Neal points out that Jesus' humility is rooted in understanding who He is in relationship with the Father. The same is true of our own humility - when it is true, rather than an excuse to not do that to which we are called.

Acting with authority releases power. When we are moved by these two characteristics to exercise the authority which God bestows on us according to His plan for our lives, powerful, wonderful things happen. In the context of Unbound deliverance ministry, the Holy Spirit moves in ways we would never expect to deliver God's sons and daughters from bondage that has held them back for their whole lives!

Perhaps I will yet share another post or two from this book, on the topic of forgiveness. It's a theme on which I've written on many occasions, but as you might imagine, Neal addresses aspects of it that are particularly relevant to our relationship with the Father.

Incomplete picture

The Prodigal drastically underestimates the encounter that awaits him because he never truly understood his father. His memory is vague, and he does not see the whole picture. He remembers some kindness - that his father treated his employees well - but . . . (ellipsis in original) - Neal Lozano, Abba's Heart

The simple truth is that if there is any truth at all to what we believe, we all underestimate the encounter that awaits us. God's love and mercy are beyond our imagining. Our finite minds are bound by time as well as space, and our Father is infinite and timeless. So anyone who believes that they see the whole picture is fooling themselves.

That said, I don't think that's the case for Neal. Rather, he is merely pointing out how our - everyone's - incomplete understanding of God's love keeps us from running home to the Father at a full tilt, the way that He runs to meet us. Of course, since Jesus and the Father are one, His Incarnation and all that He did on earth, culminating in His passion, death, and resurrection, show us the lengths that the Father goes to meet us. Despite these incredible steps, it is still incumbent upon us prodigals to humbly turn toward home. And it is not possible that we do this without also welcoming back those who are prodigal from us.

A political observation

I still don't know for certain who I'll vote for in the Republican primary, and if I did probably wouldn't say so publicly, but this I know: Jesus said that the most important trait of a leader is humility. So I will not be casting my vote for the front-runner. I do not understand why anyone who has met Jesus would think about voting for this man.

Who judges whom

I find myself thinking of a thought from Fr. Neuhaus. I suppose I shall start with the topic that came up at men's group. One of the guys has been wondering - as we are prone to do - about how to know at the end that we have lived well enough. It's a thought process that has scriptural roots to it, and if we're not careful about it, can cause us to having us cross over the line to thinking that we have to do enough to earn heaven, rather than the kingdom being a free gift that Christ has given to us, to which our lives become a natural response. "If it's all about mercy, then, and if there are no limits to God's mercy, does that mean that no one is ever condemned?"

There were lots of ways to address this, and several just from Death on a Friday Afternoon. One, of course, is Fr. Neuhaus' well reasoned argument that God's mercy is sufficient for that outcome, and that we should all hope for it, for the sake of every one of our brothers and sisters. 

Another one carries Fr. Neuhaus' discussion of our audacity in daring to judge the Creator, and his audacity in submitting to our judgment, a step further. The one constant throughout salvation history in our relationship with God is that he always respects our free will, even to the point of submitting to our judgment. 

So: what if the person who will ultimately judge me is the same person who judged Jesus? What if that person is me? 

What if our insistence on judging is the only thing that ever condemns anyone for eternity? And what if the nature of that judgment is this: our unwillingness to spend eternity with people whom God has forgiven may serve as the biggest obstacle to our entering into mercy and grace, which is the only requirement for my redemption?

Perhaps this is why Jesus told us "Thus will my heavenly Father do to each of you who does not forgive his brother from the heart."  Because my brother will be forgiven by God, and if I do not accept that, then I cannot enter the kingdom. I will be like the brother of the prodigal son, standing my ground outside in a huff.  Perhaps this is why he taught us to pray that the Father "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." 

So we begin this Advent season of mercy and grace, which marks the beginning of this Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy. I know I am called to deeper holiness this year, but it must be rooted here. 

Reflections on today's readings

When I was trying to walk out the door at 7:31 to play at 8:00 mass and didn't have the right keys hanging where they belong, I decided on plan B. I'll have to find them before too much longer here, but I wasn't going to lose my mind trying to find them after I was already supposed to be at church if I was going to play.

Today's readings

Sometimes I completely understand why the bishops skip over verses in the assigned readings, because they don't fit with - or even distract from - the main point of the reading which they're trying to emphasize. And sometimes I just shake my head and fear that they've actually failed to underscore the most important part of what we need to hear. For instance, in today's reading from Deuteronomy, here is the passage they've omitted, after "before your very eyes?"

To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD is God; there is no other besides him. Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you; and on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire.  And because he loved your fathers and chose their descendants after them, and brought you out of Egypt with his own presence, by his great power, driving out before you nations greater and mightier than yourselves, to bring you in, to give you their land for an inheritance, as at this day; - Dt 4:35-38

The passage then continues: "this is why you must now know . . . "

Perhaps the bishops are trying to avoid controversy over the history of Israel and the idea that God provided this land for his chosen people. But it seems to me that it is important for us to know that it we need to focus as much on what the Lord is doing in our own lives, even those things that are in fact discipline or correction for us, as on what he has done in the past. I have been greatly blessed by God, my heavenly Father, and need to keep in mind that his direction for my life is intended for further blessing rather than caprice and control.

The psalm was of course written before we were given much inkling of the triune Godhead, and was a song of the Jewish chosen people, but it resonates even more for me today as a follower of Christ who has filled me with his very presence by pouring out the Holy Spirit, choosing me to be his own in a far more intimate way than even the Jewish people were first chosen. I have read that salvation history has been a continual journey from a chosen person (Adam, then Abraham) to a family (Abraham's descendents, down to Jacob's family in Egypt) to a nation (those delivered from slavery in Egypt to the promised land of Israel) to include the entire world (to the ends of the earth). The Incredibles got it wrong when they said that "if everyone is special, then no one is." We are all special, each chosen individually in our unique way to enter into this relationship with God the Father through Christ Jesus in the Holy Spirit.

The second reading is fairly short, and is worth including in its entirety here:

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. - Rom 8:14-17

(btw, I continue to use the RSV translation, which doesn't exactly match the USCCB link above because the bishops are probably using the NAB.)

How wonderful that this follows last week's epistle reading, in which we are assured that no one can proclaim Jesus as Lord except by the Holy Spirit. This passage brings out the roles of the persons of the Trinity in our lives. It isn't that they act individually to do separate things, but that God works together in our lives in various ways to draw us into relationship with him, indwelling us with his very self that we might carry on the mission on which Jesus has sent us as he himself was sent. We have the boldness of the Spirit to carry us through the trials we might be asked to bear in his name, for a season or for our lives, so that God is glorified by the works he has prepared for us in which we walk.

Passages like this should disabuse us of the notion that Christians are destined for an easy path because of our faith.

The Gospel reading is the most succinct confirmation of the triune Godhead, for why would anyone have any need of being baptized in any name except that of God himself?

Some scholars try to reduce today's feast and the concept of the Trinity to a pantheistic concept. There is value in knowing and reflecting upon the presence of God in all things. But there is also value in taking one day out of the year, not to put the Divine Persons of the Trinity into a box of orthodoxy, but to consider the implications that the God who loves each of us so much as to have created this universe for us with all its marvels to reveal his glory then humbly came among us to reveal his glory in redeeming sacrifice and even more humbly reveals his glory by dwelling within us even though we still choose our own wishes over God's greater dreams for us - and to know that all of these actions are really one united expression of a love that we barely begin to know in this life.

And so it turns out that this time soaking in God's presence was probably better than playing at an extra Mass this morning.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 2c

Acts 1:1-12 (cont.)

So when they had come together, they asked him, "Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?"

He said to them, "It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has fixed by his own authority." - (6-7)

From Moses (Ps 90:13) to David (Ps 6:3), the psalmists implored the Lord: How long? It is often our plea, too: How long must injustice and violence last? Our response to what we perceive to be God's failure to act as he should is too often to take matters into our own hands, answering injustice with impatient overreach - and, therefore, usually another form of injustice.

It isn't that God doesn't want us to act, but that he doesn't want us to over reach, to do wrong in the name of addressing wrong. He wants us to exercise bold humility, putting love into action within appropriate boundaries, and not trying to correct the mistakes we think that he has made.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Teaches the Way - Arriving to a Decision (cont.)(step17), session 6

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" - Mt 7: 1-3

I think these verses are usually either ignored or misapplied.

They are ignored by those of us who insist on applying a standard to others to which we ourselves refuse to - are are unable to - comply. So many Christians are appalled by the way that non-Christians live, while ourselves continuing to ignore Jesus' teaching in some area of our lives. We think that our perceived righteousness is the result of our own virtue, rather than recognizing that any holiness in which we walk has been given us by God and is a matter of his goodness rather than our own. Perhaps we often do this as we remain stuck in (Fr. Spitzer's) comparative identity mode, and need the confirmation that we are better than others in order to feel good about ourselves. Regardless of why, we often ignore Jesus' instruction not to judge, and it takes a great effort to overcome the inertia of looking through the lens of comparativism.  Fortunately, Jesus has completed that effort, and when we meet him in the honest recognition of our own sinfulness and our utter dependence on him, we become equipped to stop judging others and begin loving them more as he does.

But the misapplication of this verse is that we often conclude that we should not ever bother ourselves with the speck in our brother's eye.

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. - Mt 7: 5

So there are two aspects of this: we must first understand that the speck in our brother's eye is a speck, and not try to make it into a log. But we should also remember this: a speck in the eye is troublesome, and ought not to be ignored. It can only be addressed in context, though. I can't lecture my brother about his speck while ignoring my own log, as if clearing my brother's eye were my job because of my lofty standing over him. I can't be superior to my brother; I can only hope to walk alongside him.

Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you . . . . If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! - Mt 7: 7.11

This relates back to recent thoughts about trusting in God to provide for our every need, even those for which we struggle to see his providence before it comes to fruition. But it also serves as a nice reminder against those who suggest that "hey, we're all basically good!" No, we're all basically not; we all need a savior, and this is the one need for which God has already provided for all of us. Our eternal needs are always the context in which God provides for our temporal needs.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Teaches the Way - Arriving to a Decision (cont.)(step17), session 4

"And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

"And in praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this:

"Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you;
but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
- Mt 6: 5-15

I find myself walking carefully when I offer to pray with someone. I have a bit of a weakness when it comes to the first part of this teaching. I'm not so prone to unforgiveness as I perceive many to be, which just means that I have a different area of vulnerability. This is closely related to my previously-observed tendency to be proud of things that are simply a gift to me, for which I am no more responsible than the color of my eyes. I want to be thought of as wise, insightful, intelligent; even when I try to give God credit for his grace being at work, I sometimes want to be acknowledged for having the wisdom, insight, or intelligence to do so. This brings me back to the Litany of Humility again.

In the latter verses of this passage, Jesus emphasis on forgiveness causes me to wonder once again whether this may is the biggest obstacle to truly walking with him, both now and in eternity. The Shack is a novel that illustrates the great challenges we must sometimes overcome in order to forgive the most egregious offenses against us and those we love, and the great lengths to which God goes (is willing to go, has gone) in order to help us do so. The Unbound model of spiritual deliverance names forgiveness one of the keys to spiritual freedom, and so many people for whom we pray have gotten wrapped around their pain - often unwittingly - by not forgiving those who have hurt them.  I wonder if unforgiveness might be the most common and stubborn sin that must be washed away in Purgatory.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Teaches the Way - Arriving to a Decision (cont.)(step17), session 3

The scripture passages for today's session consists of several verses from the next chapter of the Sermon on the Mount, Mt 6:3-5, 19-21, and 24. Unlike the previous session, most of the intervening verses aren't skipped entirely but are included in subsequent sessions, so I don't feel as if I need to fill in any of that valuable content now. I am beginning with verse 1, though, rather than verse 3, as these first two verses provide context and are not covered in other sessions.

Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. - Mt 6: 1

If I were a better follower of Christ, this would be the chief reason I don't post links to my blog posts more often on FB. Instead it's more a matter of being careful how much of myself I put in the face of everyone who knows me. There are parts of my makeup and my past - more than just that chief thing, really - that I worry about being judged for, and I'm still trying to follow Fr. Matthew Kelty's advice to me to not burden most people with what they would take on as an obligation to forgive me for who I am and the things I have done.

It would be better if my reason for not sharing links to my blog on FB would be more in line with Jesus' admonition here. Part of me still wants to be special, to have some insight from the Holy Spirit that helps others have a deeper relationship with God, as if such any such insight would be of me instead of from God. This would validate my existence, right?

But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, - Mt 6: 3

I'm reminded of one of the first phrases from the wonderful Litany of Humility: From the desire to be esteemed, deliver me, Jesus. We so long to be thought well of. I think this is part of the "comparative identity" that Fr. Spitzer spoke of with such insight: we draw so much of our self-image in comparison with others, and having others think well of us validates our judgment. God is calling us to a different approach, and we need to be careful not to allow this to become a variation on the other one, something like saying to ourselves, "Oh, look what good I am doing in secret!" 

(I believe my Lenten journey would be well served by praying this Litany daily. It's pretty clear that the concern I mentioned after quoting Mt 6: 1 above is an example of the desire of being approved.)

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. - Mt 6: 20-21

It can be such a challenge for us to allow God himself to be our treasure, yet he is a treasure that can never be exhausted, and his love infinitely exceeds those we chase after in its stead.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. - Mt 6: 24a

Jesus may be primarily referring to material wealth and possessions, since he specifically refers to mammon later in the verse.  But this maxim is true of whatever our other master might be, including (but not limited to) comfort, power, pleasure, fitness, novelty and thrills. We will invariably resent God for keeping us from these things which we mistake as being desirable, when the truth is that we cannot receive all that God desires for us if we serve whatever our other master may be.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Calls His Followers - Arriving to a Decision (step16), session 3

This session is based on the same event as the second passage of session 2, but now from St. Matthew's account (9, 9-13). Since we're to have repeat sessions on each of these passages, I'm going to try to overcome a little disappointment in what is a virtually identical account, except for the use of the Greek form of Matthew's name rather than the Hebrew/Aramaic Levi used by St. Luke.

I guess the main thing that remains is for me to acknowledge afresh, in light of how my morning has gone, that I find my only hope in Jesus' insistence that he came not for the righteous, but for sinners. But this is Lent, and I must also remember that Jesus' ministry in my life is about my transformation as well as my redemption, or more accurately, that my redemption is only complete to the degree that I allow the Spirit to transform me. That is what this season is supposed to be about, for me. I pray that my attitude toward pleasure and toward others would become more like God's and less like the world's. But my attitudes and habits are so deeply ingrained, only God can possibly make this change in me. I thought I'd been having a pretty good year so far, too.

Conforming (phase 2), The Value System of Jesus Christ - A Summary (step 12), session 1

And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said: "Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.  Blessed are you that hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you that weep now, for you shall laugh.  Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of man!  Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.  

"But woe to you that are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you that are full now, for you shall hunger. Woe to you that laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep. Woe to you, when all men speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets." - Lk 6, 20-26

Everybody seems to prefer (and to be more familiar with) the formulation of the Beatitudes from St. Matthew's gospel. This one has been chosen for the summary meditation because of how it contrasts the blessings and woes of the two values systems, the two standards, on which we have been focusing. But there are many ways in which the value system of the world may be expressed and lived out, and I am a bit disappointed that this retreat seems to focus so much on the values of wealth and esteem.

I'm feeling particularly torn between these two value systems right now in another way, as two beloved members of our family seem to be making daily decisions according to their own whims and disregarding the effects of their decisions on the family around them. How can I be an instrument of God's voice calling them to decide differently?

But I see another way in which the standard of the world takes root in my life when I look to comparative ways of evaluating my own morality and worth. (comparative vs. contributive identity, a la Fr. Spitzer, whom I have often invoked) This may include when I judge others, and may include looking for an opportunity to do so - for instance, looking up a list of athletes who have been the biggest problem in the locker room.

"For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" - Lk 9, 24-25

I suppose there are different ways of saving our life. If I try to preserve the pleasures of life the way that I want to live them, rather than taking up the cross (v. 23) of living as Christ calls me, is that not an effort to save my life? Again, I have written before in different contexts about our insistence on seeing the cross as something other than the glorious thing that it truly is, and about our misunderstanding of what is truly glorious. We know that, in his humanity, Jesus begged the Father that the cup be taken from him, yet I also believe that he embraced the cross with more than resigned obedience, but rather with trust and love that outweighed his fear and human misgivings. What would it have profited him to avoid his cross, and what do we think it will profit us to avoid ours? The life that we have in its stead is no gift to us.

As they were going along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."

And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head." 

To another he said, "Follow me." But he said, "Lord, let me first go and bury my father." But he said to him, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." 

Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home."  Jesus said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."  - Lk 9, 57-62

These can sound harsh, but they underscore what I think the Lord would have me hear in this session.

The Two Standards, part 1

When Jesus answers to Satan, “One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God”, (Lk 4:4 and Mt 4:4, cf. Dt 8:3) it means that he chose to renounce the immediate gratification in order to follow what God’s will was for him. - The Two Standards meditation, 140-142. First Part: The Standard of Satan, the “values” he uses to deceive and seduce all of us

I am not so good at making this choice consistently. I do it pretty well for the bigger things, but there are areas of purity that I miss out on because I indulge in immediately gratifying thoughts instead.

The second temptation of Jesus is to let the power principle dominate his life. The search for power, personal prestige and status, the exploitation of others in order to gain these, and the allure of “honor” is so much widespread phenomenon that Alfred Adler in his “individual psychology” asserted it as the basic drive in life. Although a certain level of self-esteem is necessary for a healthy psyche, the temptation of the power drive misleads us to seek status and honor directly, and the price to pay for it is in destroyed relationships, falsity and deceit. - ibid.

There can be a tricky balance between setting appropriate boundaries for ourselves and trying to exercise power over the lives of others. Sometimes the people around us can feel that we are imposing boundaries or values on them when we are really only setting them for ourselves. It's an important distinction. To keep from being taken advantage of in an unhealthy way, I must sometimes prevent another from taking unhealthy advantage of me. That can feel to them as if I am trying to make a decision for them that they do not wish to make for themselves, when in truth I am truly only making a decision about what is healthy for me. It is important, when we are on the other side of such a decision, not to allow our own wishes to outweigh our respect for the other person by acting in a dishonest way in order to coerce a decision in line with our own wishes. This is especially hard when we feel that we need our lives to be different from how they actually are.

Viktor Frankl pointed out many times that there are several things, like joy and happiness that cannot be willed directly but should come as a by-product of one’s deeds. As the pursuit of happiness does not lead to its fulfillment so is it with the power drive. - ibid.

I've been thinking about this lately. In fact, I have long been convinced that the single greatest obstacle to finding happiness is to pursue it directly. Matthew Kelly propounds that we maximize our happiness by becoming the best version of ourselves, by making physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy choices rather than pursuing happiness for its own sake.

The third temptation of Jesus as Robert C. Leslie points out is to escape from personal responsibility, which is a manifestation of self-sufficiency and pride. Harder to recognize than the other two this temptation is permeating our culture on personal and societal level. It works through the dominance of psychological and sociological determinism. We can excuse our behavior endlessly by past traumas and by what others did or did not. - ibid.

There is so much in these few sentences. First of all, I'm pretty sure that I've never thought of the third temptation quite in these terms, but this makes perfect sense. Jesus is tempted to escape the consequences of a personal decision. The one thing that I am pleased about concerning my initial experience with therapy is that, while I needed to learn the effect that my childhood abuse had on my adulthood decision making, I recognized from the beginning that I was responsible for my choices. No matter how many men may have sexually abused me when I was a kid, I knew that I was responsible for my own adult actions. But this temptation remains so very present in how we respond to stimuli around us, as it is so easy to feel that we have been provoked into our choices.

In reality the future does not depend so much on past experiences as on our conscious decisions in the present. - ibid.

Yes!! Now, it is true that our past may have trained us to make decisions in a way that does not maximize our future growth, but we have the power to recognize that and learn to make our decisions in a different way. But let's say, for instance, that I recognize that I have a tendency to try to fix things for those around me. It does no good to recognize that trait in myself unless I recognize when I am doing that at the expense of others.

Responsibility is an indelible characteristic of human existence and it means that we ought to give a response or an answer for our acts in front of our conscience. In religious terms, we are created beings and we are not self-sufficient but our life is constant gift from God whose creative love we respond to with our existence, choices and acts. - ibid.

Yes, all of our life is our response to God's creative love, in one way or another. I must choose to respond in ways that draw me more deeply into that love, believing that God's plan for my life is more trustworthy than my own wishes, which are subtly tainted by the influence of the standard of Satan in my life and on the world around me.

Okay I haven't even started looking at the reflection on Jesus' standard, but there is just so much in here! The really should have made this initial meditation part of a longer step; one week was just not enough to cover this along with six individual session readings. On the other hand, they do revisit it twice in short order.

Conforming (phase 2), The "Hidden Life" and the Value System of Jesus Christ (step 10), session 4

The Hidden Life of Jesus

And he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and man. - Lk 2, 51-52

I'm pretty sure that verse 52 isn't possible without verse 51.  This is true for us, too.  Well, not entirely: we can certainly gain favor with men without ever learning this sort of humility.

These verses cover approximately 18 years of Jesus' life. Like Jesus, it is what we do in the hidden years that will determine what becomes of our ministry and our life when it is time for God's glory to be revealed through us.