I just read yesterday's extracanonical reading from the Office of Readings, which I didn't get around to yesterday because of the crazy day at the hospital with Teri. Falling in love with it again, I was getting ready to copy and paste it in here, then realized that I must have posted about it before. Indeed, and here it is. Don't spend too much time on my reflection; soak in the wisdom from an ancient homily which my breviary says is from St. John Chrysostom and the Universalis site credits to "pseudo-Chrysostom." (I like the breviary wording a little better, too, but not enough to type it in here.)
Showing posts with label Saints. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saints. Show all posts
Saturday, March 04, 2017
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Today's Office of Readings
Since I primarily use the Divine Office during the seasons of Advent and Lent, and since Advent doesn't always have a full fourth week, I don't pray today's Psalm very often. I love the series of "isolated avian" references - pelican, owl, sparrow - though without knowing for myself how accurately they reflect each species' natural behavior. The last half of the second section speaks to why I believe that God has preserved me in spite of how utterly I've failed Him and those I love. The first part of the last section resonates with me right now because of the advancement of my kidney disease; I need to be careful not to let my mind get out ahead of that, though.
Today's Isaiah reading is more familiar (because the Office always uses this in the final octave of the Advent season, regardless of where it falls in the week), and every time I see the Lord refer to his stubborn people I must plead guilty.
This reading from St. Bernard gets me every time. (Rabbit hole warning: this link contains three others; one of them, though, contains the entire text of this reading, since the dated hyperlinks expire - or at least they used to; I haven't checked in a while.) The thing that strikes me about this reading this year is a shift in perspective: as anxious as the souls of all humanity throughout all of history are, collectively, for our Mother's answer to the angel, so much greater is God's desire for each one of us to provide our own fiat in response to Him.
Today's Isaiah reading is more familiar (because the Office always uses this in the final octave of the Advent season, regardless of where it falls in the week), and every time I see the Lord refer to his stubborn people I must plead guilty.
This reading from St. Bernard gets me every time. (Rabbit hole warning: this link contains three others; one of them, though, contains the entire text of this reading, since the dated hyperlinks expire - or at least they used to; I haven't checked in a while.) The thing that strikes me about this reading this year is a shift in perspective: as anxious as the souls of all humanity throughout all of history are, collectively, for our Mother's answer to the angel, so much greater is God's desire for each one of us to provide our own fiat in response to Him.
Thursday, December 08, 2016
Mother of Salvation
To Mary God gave his only-begotten Son, whom he loved as himself. Through Mary God made himself a Son, not different but the same, by nature Son of God and Son of Mary. The whole universe was created by God, and God was born of Mary. God created all things, and Mary gave birth to God. The God who made all things gave himself form through Mary, and thus he made his own creation. He who could create all things from nothing would not remake his ruined creation without Mary.
God, then, is the Father of the created world and Mary the mother of the re-created world. God is the Father by whom all things were given life, and Mary the mother through whom all things were given new life. For God begot the Son, through whom all things were made, and Mary gave birth to him as the Savior of the world. Without God’s Son, nothing could exist; without Mary’s Son, nothing could be redeemed. - from a sermon by St. Anselm
Good stuff here, from this morning's Office of Readings. It seems the right balance between proper reverence and gratitude toward Mary and inappropriate worship of her.
God, then, is the Father of the created world and Mary the mother of the re-created world. God is the Father by whom all things were given life, and Mary the mother through whom all things were given new life. For God begot the Son, through whom all things were made, and Mary gave birth to him as the Savior of the world. Without God’s Son, nothing could exist; without Mary’s Son, nothing could be redeemed. - from a sermon by St. Anselm
Good stuff here, from this morning's Office of Readings. It seems the right balance between proper reverence and gratitude toward Mary and inappropriate worship of her.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
A great example for me
A saint who struggled greatly with doubt is one whose witness is very helpful for me. Teresa of Calcutta went decades without sensing God's presence in her life, and persevered in living out the vocation she'd received.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Good Friday reflection, 2016
Today was the first Good Friday I've worked in 22 years, but I did take half a day of PTO. Instead of trying to get my usual two hours in the middle of the night on Good Friday, I signed up for 5-6, and jumped at the chance to get a half hour from our deacon's two-hour 6-8 commitment. It worked out very nicely.
There was much proclaimed by the prophets about the mystery of the Passover; that mystery is Christ. (emphasis added) - From an Easter homily by St. Melito of Sardis, bishop, as quoted in yesterday's Office of Readings
St. Melito goes on to mention many of the ways that Christ was present in or revealed by the events of the Hebrew Scriptures. We can see Him in them, we can learn of Him and even encounter Him there, but any litany of them will fail to touch us unless we are willing to accept Him, that is, to acknowledge that God has an authority over our lives as a result of being Author and Creator and of setting aside His power in favor of His love and mercy. Jesus being the Passover only makes Him my Passover to the degree that I acknowledge that He is my only path from death to life, and begin to respond to the Father's love and mercy in a way that recognizes His Author-ity over my life.
Rescue my soul from the sword,
My life from the grip of these dogs.
Save my life from the jaws of these lions,
My poor soul from the horns of these oxen. - Ps 22: 21-22
David (I presume) was writing of his enemies in these derisive tones, so we must be careful with them. For while these images - dogs, lions, oxen - also represent us in our effect on Jesus' human life, we must not forget that it was perfect Love which caused Him to subject Himself to us and which calls us back to the Heart that has so desperately longed for our return that He would make Himself our sacrifice - even when we would sacrifice nothing of ourselves for His Love. Indeed, St. Paul makes the progression in the letter to the Romans of our still being helpless, then sinners, then enemies, when Christ gave Himself for us.
Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss? - Lk 22:48
How often we, too, do this. In our certitude that what we are doing is right - or, perhaps, that we have a right to do this, to wield our power in the way we deem best - we betray God's love, and mercy, and authority over us. We insist on our own authority and our own understanding, and so we apply the stamp of God's will on actions that are really rooted in our own.
It can be a quandary, because what appears to be mercy toward some can look like rejection of others, and even of God. God is always calling us closer, and that means He is always calling us to receive His love and to love as He does, not forsaking the truth, yet inviting judgment on ourselves rather than imposing it on others.
We misunderstand the nature and manifestation of Love, and as we act in our own misunderstanding, we betray Jesus with our embrace, too.
For if the blood of goats and bulls and the sprinkling of a heifer's ashes can sanctify those who are defiled so that their flesh is cleansed, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself up unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from dead works to worship the living God!" - Heb 9:13-14
Of course, the goats, bulls and heifer, as well as the ram in the thicket, and the lambs' blood on the Hebrew families' lintels, are but the faintest symbols of the true Lamb. Their greatest importance is to reveal Jesus, who in turn reveals the Father's heart of love for us as He fulfills the purpose of His earthly life. This viewpoint which Neal Lozano has emphasized in Abba's Heart parallels what St. John Chrysostom emphasizes in today's Office of Readings (about which I have reflected on previous Good Fridays).
Do you understand, then, how Christ has united His bride to Himself and what food He gives us all to eat? By one and the same food we are both brought into being and nourished. As a woman nourishes her child with her own blood and milk, so does Christ unceasingly nourish with His own blood those to whom He Himself has given life. - from the Catecheses by St. John Chrysostom, bishop, as quoted in today's Office of Readings
Even motherhood is a type for Christ. I have so often marveled at the rest of this great reading that I have missed its wonderful conclusion! We are indeed bone from Christ's bone, and flesh from Christ's flesh , sacrificed for us to make us a new creation, an eternal creation, imbued with everlasting life. (Likely most importantly, we are spirit from Christ's Spirit!)
____
Now I want to invoke Fr. Neuhaus a bit, even though I haven't been reading him this season. We call this "Good Friday," even as we rightly acknowledge the role our sin and guilt play in our (my! For each of us, it must be "my," even while it must be also "our") Savior's suffering and death. Perhaps we should call it Great Friday. Redeeming Friday. Delivering Friday. Victory over Sin Friday. Sanctifying Friday. Transforming Friday. All-the-Difference-Making Friday. Perfect Love Friday. It is worth reflecting on in its own right. (Rite, right?)
I look above the tabernacle where my Savior is present, where I have come seeking to be with Him during His trial and knowing that it is really He who is with me during mine, and through the textured glass of this chapel I see the illuminated crucifix in the main church. As Fr. Neuhaus encourages me, I don't skip ahead. I confess the link between Christ present in this tabernacle and His sacrifice this day on the cross of my sin. He has defeated the power of both the physical cross and my sin to cause death. As I sit and pray with Him in the garden, and observe Him before the Sanhedrin and Pilate, walk with Him along the Via Dolorosa, mourn His death on the cross, and as His blood and water flow down over me, it is not His lifeless body which I embrace, but His life-giving sacrifice and eternal Sonship.
I closed out this time with a return to Abba's Heart, but I will share of that in a separate post.
There was much proclaimed by the prophets about the mystery of the Passover; that mystery is Christ. (emphasis added) - From an Easter homily by St. Melito of Sardis, bishop, as quoted in yesterday's Office of Readings
St. Melito goes on to mention many of the ways that Christ was present in or revealed by the events of the Hebrew Scriptures. We can see Him in them, we can learn of Him and even encounter Him there, but any litany of them will fail to touch us unless we are willing to accept Him, that is, to acknowledge that God has an authority over our lives as a result of being Author and Creator and of setting aside His power in favor of His love and mercy. Jesus being the Passover only makes Him my Passover to the degree that I acknowledge that He is my only path from death to life, and begin to respond to the Father's love and mercy in a way that recognizes His Author-ity over my life.
Rescue my soul from the sword,
My life from the grip of these dogs.
Save my life from the jaws of these lions,
My poor soul from the horns of these oxen. - Ps 22: 21-22
David (I presume) was writing of his enemies in these derisive tones, so we must be careful with them. For while these images - dogs, lions, oxen - also represent us in our effect on Jesus' human life, we must not forget that it was perfect Love which caused Him to subject Himself to us and which calls us back to the Heart that has so desperately longed for our return that He would make Himself our sacrifice - even when we would sacrifice nothing of ourselves for His Love. Indeed, St. Paul makes the progression in the letter to the Romans of our still being helpless, then sinners, then enemies, when Christ gave Himself for us.
Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss? - Lk 22:48
How often we, too, do this. In our certitude that what we are doing is right - or, perhaps, that we have a right to do this, to wield our power in the way we deem best - we betray God's love, and mercy, and authority over us. We insist on our own authority and our own understanding, and so we apply the stamp of God's will on actions that are really rooted in our own.
It can be a quandary, because what appears to be mercy toward some can look like rejection of others, and even of God. God is always calling us closer, and that means He is always calling us to receive His love and to love as He does, not forsaking the truth, yet inviting judgment on ourselves rather than imposing it on others.
We misunderstand the nature and manifestation of Love, and as we act in our own misunderstanding, we betray Jesus with our embrace, too.
For if the blood of goats and bulls and the sprinkling of a heifer's ashes can sanctify those who are defiled so that their flesh is cleansed, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself up unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from dead works to worship the living God!" - Heb 9:13-14
Of course, the goats, bulls and heifer, as well as the ram in the thicket, and the lambs' blood on the Hebrew families' lintels, are but the faintest symbols of the true Lamb. Their greatest importance is to reveal Jesus, who in turn reveals the Father's heart of love for us as He fulfills the purpose of His earthly life. This viewpoint which Neal Lozano has emphasized in Abba's Heart parallels what St. John Chrysostom emphasizes in today's Office of Readings (about which I have reflected on previous Good Fridays).
Do you understand, then, how Christ has united His bride to Himself and what food He gives us all to eat? By one and the same food we are both brought into being and nourished. As a woman nourishes her child with her own blood and milk, so does Christ unceasingly nourish with His own blood those to whom He Himself has given life. - from the Catecheses by St. John Chrysostom, bishop, as quoted in today's Office of Readings
Even motherhood is a type for Christ. I have so often marveled at the rest of this great reading that I have missed its wonderful conclusion! We are indeed bone from Christ's bone, and flesh from Christ's flesh , sacrificed for us to make us a new creation, an eternal creation, imbued with everlasting life. (Likely most importantly, we are spirit from Christ's Spirit!)
____
Now I want to invoke Fr. Neuhaus a bit, even though I haven't been reading him this season. We call this "Good Friday," even as we rightly acknowledge the role our sin and guilt play in our (my! For each of us, it must be "my," even while it must be also "our") Savior's suffering and death. Perhaps we should call it Great Friday. Redeeming Friday. Delivering Friday. Victory over Sin Friday. Sanctifying Friday. Transforming Friday. All-the-Difference-Making Friday. Perfect Love Friday. It is worth reflecting on in its own right. (Rite, right?)
I look above the tabernacle where my Savior is present, where I have come seeking to be with Him during His trial and knowing that it is really He who is with me during mine, and through the textured glass of this chapel I see the illuminated crucifix in the main church. As Fr. Neuhaus encourages me, I don't skip ahead. I confess the link between Christ present in this tabernacle and His sacrifice this day on the cross of my sin. He has defeated the power of both the physical cross and my sin to cause death. As I sit and pray with Him in the garden, and observe Him before the Sanhedrin and Pilate, walk with Him along the Via Dolorosa, mourn His death on the cross, and as His blood and water flow down over me, it is not His lifeless body which I embrace, but His life-giving sacrifice and eternal Sonship.
I closed out this time with a return to Abba's Heart, but I will share of that in a separate post.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
A long-awaited Advent
I have so enjoyed spending the last few evenings reflecting on the Office of Readings with my bride. We have been combining the Evening Prayer psalms with the longer reflections from the OoR, and I hope she has enjoyed it as much as I have.
Today's reading from St. Bernard is one of my favorites. I have written a little about it thrice before, and will not quote it again here. It was especially nice to be able to share my enjoyment of it with my dear wife.
This is one of the readings that I look forward to encountering year after year, each time entering into it a little deeper than the time before. Bringing someone else I love into this one with me was a special treat.
Today's reading from St. Bernard is one of my favorites. I have written a little about it thrice before, and will not quote it again here. It was especially nice to be able to share my enjoyment of it with my dear wife.
This is one of the readings that I look forward to encountering year after year, each time entering into it a little deeper than the time before. Bringing someone else I love into this one with me was a special treat.
Monday, December 14, 2015
Advent lessons
During Advent and Lent, I'm always tempted to skip the saints' feast days and focus on the daily Office of Readings for the season. But this morning I caught up again with St. Jane Frances de Chantal (from Saturday) and San Juan de la Cruz (today), both of whom had words out encouragement that I was in a good place to receive this morning.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 1
In this Step we contemplate the identity of Jesus, first how he defined himself, then also what others discovered in him. - Orientation and meditation, step 19
I have had a personal encounter with Jesus and have been learning who he is for over a quarter century since. But anyone who suggests that they know Jesus because they have walked with him probably hasn't even met him yet. This will be a good step!
The gospels present Jesus not only through stories such as Healer and Exorcist but call him Son of Man, Son of God, Rabbi or Teacher, Lord and in the book of Revelation he is the Bridegroom of the Church, the Lamb, and the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the faithful witness, Alpha and Omega and so on. Similarly you can find a lot of definitions in the various letters in the New Testament and in writings throughout the history of Church. Below we will list some texts for the upcoming prayer sessions, but the companions can continue to find who is Jesus in the Scriptures. - ibid.
I think, too, that this step will be one for me to revisit when I have completed the Exercises for the first time, as each title and revelation of Jesus helps us to know him more intimately and provides us with another way to choose to be conformed to him.
Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. - Jn 14: 5-6
Each of these three titles Jesus uses to refer to himself is worthy of a full meditation, but that will get me too far behind on the calendar. Since I get to return to this step later, perhaps that will allow for further treatment of this passage, if I am still so inclined at that time.
I start with my namesake, who deserves so much more attention that the "doubting Thomas" moniker with which we one-dimensionalize him. This is an earnest query, I think. It is true for all of us that we don't know where Jesus is going, and therefore do not know the path before us.
I am the Way. It has been true from the beginning. The eternal Son has always been his people's way throughout all of salvation history. (Listing them all would be exhausting!) No matter how often we lose our way, when we seek Jesus we find the Way again, for he will always be the Way. Do I not know the way through grief and pain? Let me embrace my Lord and he will carry me through it in ways that I will not even fully understand in retrospect, in this life, at least. Do I not know the way to forgive another? Let me receive my Savior's forgiveness knowing how undeserving I am of it, and beg him to help me forgive when I know not how; he will make a way of forgiveness. Do I not know the way of his will? Let me ask him to finish conforming my will to his, and then examine my own will with an eye wary for signs of self-interest. Do I not know how to live out his love in the life to which he calls me? Let me look to lay down my life and take up my cross, and he will return my life to me filled with joy that can only be provided through my cross and which I cannot hope to anticipate.
I am . . . the Truth. How often we get swallowed up in what we perceive to be the truth of our life, only to discover later that we were focusing on only the tiniest piece of the truth rather than the Truth which holds all truth. (Thanks Fr. Neuhaus.) The enemy's most fruitful work is to focus our attention on the truth and help us lose sight of the Truth. He may be the father of lies, but his best lies are a misinterpretation of the truth that ignores the Truth.
I am . . . the Life. We cling to this life and its experiences, full of fear that it will slip away from us without our having done all that we long for. In our fear, we mistake experiences for Life. We rebel against God, certain that he is depriving us of joy when we are really longing for is a choice of death instead of Life. Jesus is the Life, and as we walk in him he provides us with everlasting life, which he intends for us to have to the full (Jn 10: 10). Sometimes we must lay down our life as we understand it to receive Life as only he can give us and only inasmuch as we do not insist on preserving our own life (Mt 16: 25, Mk 8: 36, Lk 9: 24).
There is so much more to be said about each of these, but perhaps my post-cycling heart rate will now allow me to fall asleep! Lord, please let me awake refreshed in the morning, determined to embrace you as my only way, truth, and life!
I have had a personal encounter with Jesus and have been learning who he is for over a quarter century since. But anyone who suggests that they know Jesus because they have walked with him probably hasn't even met him yet. This will be a good step!
The gospels present Jesus not only through stories such as Healer and Exorcist but call him Son of Man, Son of God, Rabbi or Teacher, Lord and in the book of Revelation he is the Bridegroom of the Church, the Lamb, and the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the faithful witness, Alpha and Omega and so on. Similarly you can find a lot of definitions in the various letters in the New Testament and in writings throughout the history of Church. Below we will list some texts for the upcoming prayer sessions, but the companions can continue to find who is Jesus in the Scriptures. - ibid.
I think, too, that this step will be one for me to revisit when I have completed the Exercises for the first time, as each title and revelation of Jesus helps us to know him more intimately and provides us with another way to choose to be conformed to him.
Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. - Jn 14: 5-6
Each of these three titles Jesus uses to refer to himself is worthy of a full meditation, but that will get me too far behind on the calendar. Since I get to return to this step later, perhaps that will allow for further treatment of this passage, if I am still so inclined at that time.
I start with my namesake, who deserves so much more attention that the "doubting Thomas" moniker with which we one-dimensionalize him. This is an earnest query, I think. It is true for all of us that we don't know where Jesus is going, and therefore do not know the path before us.
I am the Way. It has been true from the beginning. The eternal Son has always been his people's way throughout all of salvation history. (Listing them all would be exhausting!) No matter how often we lose our way, when we seek Jesus we find the Way again, for he will always be the Way. Do I not know the way through grief and pain? Let me embrace my Lord and he will carry me through it in ways that I will not even fully understand in retrospect, in this life, at least. Do I not know the way to forgive another? Let me receive my Savior's forgiveness knowing how undeserving I am of it, and beg him to help me forgive when I know not how; he will make a way of forgiveness. Do I not know the way of his will? Let me ask him to finish conforming my will to his, and then examine my own will with an eye wary for signs of self-interest. Do I not know how to live out his love in the life to which he calls me? Let me look to lay down my life and take up my cross, and he will return my life to me filled with joy that can only be provided through my cross and which I cannot hope to anticipate.
I am . . . the Truth. How often we get swallowed up in what we perceive to be the truth of our life, only to discover later that we were focusing on only the tiniest piece of the truth rather than the Truth which holds all truth. (Thanks Fr. Neuhaus.) The enemy's most fruitful work is to focus our attention on the truth and help us lose sight of the Truth. He may be the father of lies, but his best lies are a misinterpretation of the truth that ignores the Truth.
I am . . . the Life. We cling to this life and its experiences, full of fear that it will slip away from us without our having done all that we long for. In our fear, we mistake experiences for Life. We rebel against God, certain that he is depriving us of joy when we are really longing for is a choice of death instead of Life. Jesus is the Life, and as we walk in him he provides us with everlasting life, which he intends for us to have to the full (Jn 10: 10). Sometimes we must lay down our life as we understand it to receive Life as only he can give us and only inasmuch as we do not insist on preserving our own life (Mt 16: 25, Mk 8: 36, Lk 9: 24).
There is so much more to be said about each of these, but perhaps my post-cycling heart rate will now allow me to fall asleep! Lord, please let me awake refreshed in the morning, determined to embrace you as my only way, truth, and life!
Monday, January 12, 2015
Conforming (phase 2), The "Hidden Life" and the Value System of Jesus Christ (step 10), session 2
Mt 2:13-23 - The Flight to Egypt and Return to Nazareth
Joseph's faith astounds me. I have enough trouble believing in the things I see and encounter when I am wide awake!
God's providence also amazes me, though. For instance: I am just close enough to a friend's miracle from the past year that it helps sustain my faith and trust. There have been so many moments in the past few months in which that healing has been the last handhold by which my faith was hanging.
Yet here is Joseph continuing to believe that God is speaking to him in dreams, leading him to Egypt and eventually back home, all for the care of this son who was not biologically his.
Joseph's faith astounds me. I have enough trouble believing in the things I see and encounter when I am wide awake!
God's providence also amazes me, though. For instance: I am just close enough to a friend's miracle from the past year that it helps sustain my faith and trust. There have been so many moments in the past few months in which that healing has been the last handhold by which my faith was hanging.
Yet here is Joseph continuing to believe that God is speaking to him in dreams, leading him to Egypt and eventually back home, all for the care of this son who was not biologically his.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Rooting it out
Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more. Amen. - St. Ignatius of Loyola
It is time to allow God to root out this dissatisfaction that I have welcomed as a long-term companion.
I am afraid of falling short, but I plan to begin the Spiritual Exercises this evening.
But as it happens, this may be the perfect time in my life for them. In the past, I think I would have felt as if this was something I was doing (i.e. of myself) rather than something God is doing in me.
It is time to allow God to root out this dissatisfaction that I have welcomed as a long-term companion.
I am afraid of falling short, but I plan to begin the Spiritual Exercises this evening.
But as it happens, this may be the perfect time in my life for them. In the past, I think I would have felt as if this was something I was doing (i.e. of myself) rather than something God is doing in me.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Converting the darkness
In My Only Friend is Darkness, Living the Night of Faith, Barbara Dent talks about St. John of the Cross's approach to the spiritual elements of the seven deadly sins. These obstacles to deeper spirituality often remain long after the sins themselves are gone.
As I was reading this chapter on Friday, I was a little dismayed as I read about the spiritual characteristics of the first of these, and found it uncomfortably applicable to me. Each sin's spiritual description was about a page long, and I moved onto the second one hoping to find that I only had the one weak area to work on. It took only a few sentences to realize that, no, I had entirely too much of this spiritual tendency remaining, too. I was hopeful, though, as I read through the third one, until about two thirds of the way through it when I saw that this one, too, was leaving its mark on my spirituality.
So it went through the spiritual roots of wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. So much for the last three decades having brought me any degree of spiritual maturity. But then I also suppose that trying to apply that concept to ourselves is inherently prideful.
As I was reading this chapter on Friday, I was a little dismayed as I read about the spiritual characteristics of the first of these, and found it uncomfortably applicable to me. Each sin's spiritual description was about a page long, and I moved onto the second one hoping to find that I only had the one weak area to work on. It took only a few sentences to realize that, no, I had entirely too much of this spiritual tendency remaining, too. I was hopeful, though, as I read through the third one, until about two thirds of the way through it when I saw that this one, too, was leaving its mark on my spirituality.
So it went through the spiritual roots of wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. So much for the last three decades having brought me any degree of spiritual maturity. But then I also suppose that trying to apply that concept to ourselves is inherently prideful.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Longing
The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. - Ps 23, 1
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. - Ps 51, 10
These words have been in my heart this morning, by the Spirit's grace. They're good words for me to focus on, I think. Also, this quote:
Do with me, Lord, as you will and know to be best. - St. Philip Neri
And this longer prayer:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. - Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
With regard to all of these, I know myself well enough to recognize that I often want my own will in full awareness that it isn't God's plan for me. These prayers are therefore the as-yet-unfulfilled cry of my heart.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. - Ps 51, 10
These words have been in my heart this morning, by the Spirit's grace. They're good words for me to focus on, I think. Also, this quote:
Do with me, Lord, as you will and know to be best. - St. Philip Neri
And this longer prayer:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. - Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
With regard to all of these, I know myself well enough to recognize that I often want my own will in full awareness that it isn't God's plan for me. These prayers are therefore the as-yet-unfulfilled cry of my heart.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Great reading
Today's excellent reading from St. Aelred fit right in with the rest of my reflections from the season, thus far, especially near the end. (The rest of the linked post isn't necessarily applicable, though.)
Friday, December 27, 2013
St. John the Apostle
On this feast day, again so close to Christmas Day, we at least get a taste of the eternal perspective with which St. John begins both his gospel and his first epistle. Though I like the development and the context of the former more than the latter, I am happy that the first reading of the Office of Readings today is brings us a good chunk of the first chapter from this letter. For a moment I felt chagrined, as I misunderstood the beloved apostle as chastising me for still having emotional darkness, but then I saw that he was referring to the darkness of unacknowledged sin.
And I took great encouragement from St. Augustine's reflection on this epistle. What a great work God did in the conversion of this brilliant man's mind from lesser philosophical pursuits to the unfathomable depths of God in Christ Jesus!
Someone might interpret the phrase the Word of life to mean a word about Christ, rather than Christ’s body itself which was touched by human hands. But consider what comes next: and life itself was revealed. Christ therefore is himself the Word of life.
And how was this life revealed? It existed from the beginning, but was not revealed to men, only to angels, who looked upon it and feasted upon it as their own spiritual bread. But what does Scripture say? Mankind ate the bread of angels.
Life itself was therefore revealed in the flesh. In this way what was visible to the heart alone could become visible also to the eye, and so heal men’s hearts. For the Word is visible to the heart alone, while flesh is visible to bodily eyes as well. We already possessed the means to see the flesh, but we had no means of seeing the Word. The Word was made flesh so that we could see it, to heal the part of us by which we could see the Word. - from a treatise by St. Augustine on the (first) epistle of St. John
And I took great encouragement from St. Augustine's reflection on this epistle. What a great work God did in the conversion of this brilliant man's mind from lesser philosophical pursuits to the unfathomable depths of God in Christ Jesus!
Someone might interpret the phrase the Word of life to mean a word about Christ, rather than Christ’s body itself which was touched by human hands. But consider what comes next: and life itself was revealed. Christ therefore is himself the Word of life.
And how was this life revealed? It existed from the beginning, but was not revealed to men, only to angels, who looked upon it and feasted upon it as their own spiritual bread. But what does Scripture say? Mankind ate the bread of angels.
Life itself was therefore revealed in the flesh. In this way what was visible to the heart alone could become visible also to the eye, and so heal men’s hearts. For the Word is visible to the heart alone, while flesh is visible to bodily eyes as well. We already possessed the means to see the flesh, but we had no means of seeing the Word. The Word was made flesh so that we could see it, to heal the part of us by which we could see the Word. - from a treatise by St. Augustine on the (first) epistle of St. John
Friday, December 20, 2013
For past and future reference
You have heard, O Virgin, that you will conceive and bear a son; you have heard that it will not be by man but by the Holy Spirit. The angel awaits an answer; it is time for him to return to God who sent him. We too are waiting, O Lady, for your word of compassion; the sentence of condemnation weighs heavily upon us.
The price of our salvation is offered to you. We shall be set free at once if you consent. In the eternal Word of God we all came to be, and behold, we die. In your brief response we are to be remade in order to be recalled to life.
Tearful Adam with his sorrowing family begs this of you, O loving Virgin, in their exile from Paradise. Abraham begs it, David begs it. All the other holy patriarchs, your ancestors, ask it of you, as they dwell in the country of the shadow of death. This is what the whole earth waits for, prostrate at your feet. It is right in doing so, for on your word depends comfort for the wretched, ransom for the captive, freedom for the condemned, indeed, salvation for all the sons of Adam, the whole of your race.
Answer quickly, O Virgin. Reply in haste to the angel, or rather through the angel to the Lord. Answer with a word, receive the Word of God. Speak your own word, conceive the divine Word. Breathe a passing word, embrace the eternal Word.
Why do you delay, why are you afraid? Believe, give praise, and receive. Let humility be bold, let modesty be confident. This is no time for virginal simplicity to forget prudence. In this matter alone, O prudent Virgin, do not fear to be presumptuous. Though modest silence is pleasing, dutiful speech is now more necessary. Open your heart to faith, O blessed Virgin, your lips to praise, your womb to the Creator. See, the desired of all nations is at your door, knocking to enter. If he should pass by because of your delay, in sorrow you would begin to seek him afresh, the One whom your soul loves. Arise, hasten, open. Arise in faith, hasten in devotion, open in praise and thanksgiving. Behold the handmaid of the Lord, she says, be it done to me according to your word. - from a sermon In Praise of the Virgin Mother by St. Bernard, abbot
I tried to hyperlink to this reading on the Universalis site before I realized that the date-referenced pages expire fairly quickly. I decided I needed a more durable copy to point to, especially as I'd be pointing to it again this morning.
I hope I never remember when this reading comes up, because every year it is a pleasant surprise to me to encounter it again. It is the slightest glimpse into what I imagine eternity in God will be like, entering into a moment - every moment at once, but in our finite earth-bound reality we can only consider a single moment in our thoughts at a time - and seeing that moment from one person's perspective, only again every perspective at once but we can now only consider one at a time. So as we see this moment from our perspective, pleading in our hearts with the mother of our Lord to grant her fiat, we will also see her own perspective in its completeness, with an even greater awareness than St. Bernard conveyed of the war raging inside of her between fear and trust, and we will see the angel's hope for all of us - including her - that she will assent. And I imagine that we will enter into every moment and every perspective of every person throughout all of history (which, come to think of it, is a terrifying concept for my puny mind that is striving for holiness when so many do not) but we will do so in the safety and with the overall knowledge of God that removes the threat from each dark heart and replaces it with love and tenderness and compassion and . . .
. . . and . . .
. . . that seems to be as close as I am able to experience and convey that thought at this moment. But no wonder St. John said that all of the books in all the world would not be able to contain all that can be said about Jesus!
The price of our salvation is offered to you. We shall be set free at once if you consent. In the eternal Word of God we all came to be, and behold, we die. In your brief response we are to be remade in order to be recalled to life.
Tearful Adam with his sorrowing family begs this of you, O loving Virgin, in their exile from Paradise. Abraham begs it, David begs it. All the other holy patriarchs, your ancestors, ask it of you, as they dwell in the country of the shadow of death. This is what the whole earth waits for, prostrate at your feet. It is right in doing so, for on your word depends comfort for the wretched, ransom for the captive, freedom for the condemned, indeed, salvation for all the sons of Adam, the whole of your race.
Answer quickly, O Virgin. Reply in haste to the angel, or rather through the angel to the Lord. Answer with a word, receive the Word of God. Speak your own word, conceive the divine Word. Breathe a passing word, embrace the eternal Word.
Why do you delay, why are you afraid? Believe, give praise, and receive. Let humility be bold, let modesty be confident. This is no time for virginal simplicity to forget prudence. In this matter alone, O prudent Virgin, do not fear to be presumptuous. Though modest silence is pleasing, dutiful speech is now more necessary. Open your heart to faith, O blessed Virgin, your lips to praise, your womb to the Creator. See, the desired of all nations is at your door, knocking to enter. If he should pass by because of your delay, in sorrow you would begin to seek him afresh, the One whom your soul loves. Arise, hasten, open. Arise in faith, hasten in devotion, open in praise and thanksgiving. Behold the handmaid of the Lord, she says, be it done to me according to your word. - from a sermon In Praise of the Virgin Mother by St. Bernard, abbot
I tried to hyperlink to this reading on the Universalis site before I realized that the date-referenced pages expire fairly quickly. I decided I needed a more durable copy to point to, especially as I'd be pointing to it again this morning.
I hope I never remember when this reading comes up, because every year it is a pleasant surprise to me to encounter it again. It is the slightest glimpse into what I imagine eternity in God will be like, entering into a moment - every moment at once, but in our finite earth-bound reality we can only consider a single moment in our thoughts at a time - and seeing that moment from one person's perspective, only again every perspective at once but we can now only consider one at a time. So as we see this moment from our perspective, pleading in our hearts with the mother of our Lord to grant her fiat, we will also see her own perspective in its completeness, with an even greater awareness than St. Bernard conveyed of the war raging inside of her between fear and trust, and we will see the angel's hope for all of us - including her - that she will assent. And I imagine that we will enter into every moment and every perspective of every person throughout all of history (which, come to think of it, is a terrifying concept for my puny mind that is striving for holiness when so many do not) but we will do so in the safety and with the overall knowledge of God that removes the threat from each dark heart and replaces it with love and tenderness and compassion and . . .
. . . and . . .
. . . that seems to be as close as I am able to experience and convey that thought at this moment. But no wonder St. John said that all of the books in all the world would not be able to contain all that can be said about Jesus!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Today's memorial
Today is the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the Americas, a national holy day in Mexico and observed among many Hispanic communities in the U.S. as well. We've had Evensong on this feast day in our parish in the past, and I believe it is good for American Catholics to invoke her intercession on a regular basis.
Fortunately my breviary is old enough to reflect that it is also the memorial day of St. Jane Frances de Chantal, wife and mother of six sons who then entered religious life after her husband's passing, founding the Visitation order, which focused on caring for the sick and poor. She and St. Francis de Sales, who I suppose was her spiritual guide, wrote wonderful letters to each other which attest to the depth of their faith and their friendship.
I attended St. Jane Frances grade school and parish in Pasadena, MD.
Fortunately my breviary is old enough to reflect that it is also the memorial day of St. Jane Frances de Chantal, wife and mother of six sons who then entered religious life after her husband's passing, founding the Visitation order, which focused on caring for the sick and poor. She and St. Francis de Sales, who I suppose was her spiritual guide, wrote wonderful letters to each other which attest to the depth of their faith and their friendship.
I attended St. Jane Frances grade school and parish in Pasadena, MD.
Thursday, December 05, 2013
An awakening
Keep watch; when the body is asleep nature takes control of us, and what is done is not done by our will but by force, by the impulse of nature. When deep listlessness takes possession of the soul - for example, faintheartedness or melancholy - the enemy overpowers it and makes it do what it does not will. The force of nature, the enemy of the soul, is in control. - St. Ephraem, deacon, from a commentary on the Diatessaron
Also: Isaiah 5, 1-7
Also: Keep God's word in this way. Let it enter into your very being, let it take possession of your desires and your whole way of life. Feed on goodness, and your soul will delight in its richness. Remember to eat your bread, or your heart will wither away. Fill your soul with richness and strength. - St. Bernard, abbot, from a sermon
It occurs to me that I allow many things to substitute for irreplaceable time in God's presence, including some good things like expounding on how what I read applies to my life or interceding for those who are struggling. Both of these examples are important things to do, but must be rooted in quiet time in God's presence lest they become deceptive means of spiritual starvation. It is even possible to read God's word without allowing it to enter into one's being, which takes time and precious silence.
Be still, my soul.
Also: Isaiah 5, 1-7
Also: Keep God's word in this way. Let it enter into your very being, let it take possession of your desires and your whole way of life. Feed on goodness, and your soul will delight in its richness. Remember to eat your bread, or your heart will wither away. Fill your soul with richness and strength. - St. Bernard, abbot, from a sermon
It occurs to me that I allow many things to substitute for irreplaceable time in God's presence, including some good things like expounding on how what I read applies to my life or interceding for those who are struggling. Both of these examples are important things to do, but must be rooted in quiet time in God's presence lest they become deceptive means of spiritual starvation. It is even possible to read God's word without allowing it to enter into one's being, which takes time and precious silence.
Be still, my soul.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
St. Augustine and the Charisms
Hmmm. Maybe that should be the name of my next band.
It was another example of the sort of timing that I have come to recognize as God's direction and work in my life. The Baptism in the Holy Spirit resource I'm reading has been the sort of thing that I read until I find my mind drifting away from it somewhat, then carefully mark my place and pick up in that same spot. Unlike Death on a Friday Afternoon, which invariably always inspires me to write within every couple of pages, this book has been thoroughly validating many of the spiritual experiences of my adulthood. The section I've most recently completed dealt with the charisms as documented in the patristic period of the Church, following the section on their scriptural references.
So in that most recently completed section, the very first paragraph where I left off reading last week addresses the change of heart which St. Augustine had with regard to the gifts of the Holy Spirit as a result of miraculous events that occurred during his ministry at Hippo. The providential timing comes from my having just seen Restless Heart, bringing me a closer sense of kinship with this great Doctor of the Church whom I have long held in such high esteem. I realize I don't really know Augustine any better than I ever did before, but reading his own wondering eyewitness account of what happened in his church, reading his accurate description of the same phenomena which I have experienced, make me feel more as if I am being gently affirmed by someone in whom I have a deep sense of trust.
This isn't the only way God's Spirit has worked to affirm me, nor the most powerful. I am convinced that the affirmation of my friends whose spiritual judgment and maturity I have come to recognize and respect is likewise a gift of God to buttress me in my weakest moments.
It was another example of the sort of timing that I have come to recognize as God's direction and work in my life. The Baptism in the Holy Spirit resource I'm reading has been the sort of thing that I read until I find my mind drifting away from it somewhat, then carefully mark my place and pick up in that same spot. Unlike Death on a Friday Afternoon, which invariably always inspires me to write within every couple of pages, this book has been thoroughly validating many of the spiritual experiences of my adulthood. The section I've most recently completed dealt with the charisms as documented in the patristic period of the Church, following the section on their scriptural references.
So in that most recently completed section, the very first paragraph where I left off reading last week addresses the change of heart which St. Augustine had with regard to the gifts of the Holy Spirit as a result of miraculous events that occurred during his ministry at Hippo. The providential timing comes from my having just seen Restless Heart, bringing me a closer sense of kinship with this great Doctor of the Church whom I have long held in such high esteem. I realize I don't really know Augustine any better than I ever did before, but reading his own wondering eyewitness account of what happened in his church, reading his accurate description of the same phenomena which I have experienced, make me feel more as if I am being gently affirmed by someone in whom I have a deep sense of trust.
This isn't the only way God's Spirit has worked to affirm me, nor the most powerful. I am convinced that the affirmation of my friends whose spiritual judgment and maturity I have come to recognize and respect is likewise a gift of God to buttress me in my weakest moments.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Falling short?
When Saint Maximilian Kolbe was a child, he had a vision of the Blessed Mother offering him his choice of two crowns: a white crown representing purity, and a red crown representing martyrdom. In his vision, he said that he would accept both. His beatification and canonization point to the fulfillment of this vision, as he is the only saint to be beatified as a Confessor of the faith (white) due to his death as an act of Christian charity, then to be canonized as a martyr who is considered to have been killed because of his faith.
When I look at the evidence of my own life, I doubt that I'll ever deserve either crown.
Living in Christ's love is important to me. Living a life of purity is a less motivating concept. Are the sins to which I remain prone perhaps too enchanting to me, or too much a part of my being to be carved out completely? But that would be like insinuating that my own challenges are greater than those of any other would-be saint. As for laying down my life, doing it in small ways is a continual challenge; God alone knows if I would do so in the ultimate form if I were ever put in that position.
Should I take comfort in the fact that I'm not impulsively blurting out that I'd lay down my life for you, Jesus? Is that a sign of humility, or merely vacillation?
When I look at the evidence of my own life, I doubt that I'll ever deserve either crown.
Living in Christ's love is important to me. Living a life of purity is a less motivating concept. Are the sins to which I remain prone perhaps too enchanting to me, or too much a part of my being to be carved out completely? But that would be like insinuating that my own challenges are greater than those of any other would-be saint. As for laying down my life, doing it in small ways is a continual challenge; God alone knows if I would do so in the ultimate form if I were ever put in that position.
Should I take comfort in the fact that I'm not impulsively blurting out that I'd lay down my life for you, Jesus? Is that a sign of humility, or merely vacillation?
Friday, April 12, 2013
stuff from my week
Sometimes the hole in my heart feels as big as God. Then I wonder, if I truly have God living in my heart as I have believed and professed, how could I have any remaining hole in my heart at all?
I get amazed at the things that knock me for a loop. Okay, I've decided that it's time to study my instrument, so I go onto the website of the premier studio in the area for classical guitar study. Then I realize I'm going to have to specify some things, particularly that I'm going to have to find a way to stay out of their classical ensemble class, which appears to be full of kids. *sigh*
I really needed another opportunity each year to lament. Thank you, "national siblings day." Seriously, though: I don't think of Karen nearly as often as I wish I did, so I really am grateful for the reminder.
Day by day:
I get amazed at the things that knock me for a loop. Okay, I've decided that it's time to study my instrument, so I go onto the website of the premier studio in the area for classical guitar study. Then I realize I'm going to have to specify some things, particularly that I'm going to have to find a way to stay out of their classical ensemble class, which appears to be full of kids. *sigh*
I really needed another opportunity each year to lament. Thank you, "national siblings day." Seriously, though: I don't think of Karen nearly as often as I wish I did, so I really am grateful for the reminder.
Day by day:
- Sunday: the crockpot chicken and pineapple experiment fails. chicken gets way overdone and dried out. i'm awake every two hours during the night, each time for longer than i need to be because of the repeated impression i have that it's almost morning.
- Monday: dinner: fend for ourselves - i make due with some cereal; i finish and hand-write confirmation letter for friend's niece, then work on e-mail requesting info for m&b prayer couple letter; tv on, i go to bed.
- Tuesday: i do a short ride; dinner: sloppy joes made the way my wife grew up with them and never remembers that i've never really liked much, made by mixing a can of (full-salt) condensed vegetable soup into a lb of ground beef, served on enriched white sandwich buns - gotta love a meal i don't like that's also not at all good for me, but at least i'm not going hungry; after prayer group i buy lunch meat since there hasn't been anything in the house for lunch, either; i watch one of wife's shows with her, then have two ME e-mails to write, then we go to bed mad because she wanted me to do them the moment she mentioned it, maybe she had an agenda for after? i sleep lousy mostly because of legs after ride.
- Wednesday: dinner: fend for myself as wife babysits and taxis grandkids - flounder fillets on flatbread wrap form the best meal of the week; i write m&b letter, read book while baseball on tv. turn tv off to focus on reading before wife gets home, turn back on to check o's score while she watches tslotat in her room before we both go to bed tired.
- Thursday: if there's one thing better than Tuesday's dinner it's having it again as leftovers; wife goes to look at potential apartment with daughter, comes home and announces in front of daughter and without consulting me about it that if daughter takes this apartment and has surgery on her ankle that she'll be staying with us extendedly because she won't be able to handle the entrance steps to the over-garage apartment. wife suggests that o's might be on, and she's right; she watches with me until she gets bored, then takes a late phone call from the west coast. i invite wife to join me in going out for dinner on Friday, as i am determined to enjoy one meal this week.
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