Reflections on today's readings

When I was trying to walk out the door at 7:31 to play at 8:00 mass and didn't have the right keys hanging where they belong, I decided on plan B. I'll have to find them before too much longer here, but I wasn't going to lose my mind trying to find them after I was already supposed to be at church if I was going to play.

Today's readings

Sometimes I completely understand why the bishops skip over verses in the assigned readings, because they don't fit with - or even distract from - the main point of the reading which they're trying to emphasize. And sometimes I just shake my head and fear that they've actually failed to underscore the most important part of what we need to hear. For instance, in today's reading from Deuteronomy, here is the passage they've omitted, after "before your very eyes?"

To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD is God; there is no other besides him. Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you; and on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire.  And because he loved your fathers and chose their descendants after them, and brought you out of Egypt with his own presence, by his great power, driving out before you nations greater and mightier than yourselves, to bring you in, to give you their land for an inheritance, as at this day; - Dt 4:35-38

The passage then continues: "this is why you must now know . . . "

Perhaps the bishops are trying to avoid controversy over the history of Israel and the idea that God provided this land for his chosen people. But it seems to me that it is important for us to know that it we need to focus as much on what the Lord is doing in our own lives, even those things that are in fact discipline or correction for us, as on what he has done in the past. I have been greatly blessed by God, my heavenly Father, and need to keep in mind that his direction for my life is intended for further blessing rather than caprice and control.

The psalm was of course written before we were given much inkling of the triune Godhead, and was a song of the Jewish chosen people, but it resonates even more for me today as a follower of Christ who has filled me with his very presence by pouring out the Holy Spirit, choosing me to be his own in a far more intimate way than even the Jewish people were first chosen. I have read that salvation history has been a continual journey from a chosen person (Adam, then Abraham) to a family (Abraham's descendents, down to Jacob's family in Egypt) to a nation (those delivered from slavery in Egypt to the promised land of Israel) to include the entire world (to the ends of the earth). The Incredibles got it wrong when they said that "if everyone is special, then no one is." We are all special, each chosen individually in our unique way to enter into this relationship with God the Father through Christ Jesus in the Holy Spirit.

The second reading is fairly short, and is worth including in its entirety here:

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. - Rom 8:14-17

(btw, I continue to use the RSV translation, which doesn't exactly match the USCCB link above because the bishops are probably using the NAB.)

How wonderful that this follows last week's epistle reading, in which we are assured that no one can proclaim Jesus as Lord except by the Holy Spirit. This passage brings out the roles of the persons of the Trinity in our lives. It isn't that they act individually to do separate things, but that God works together in our lives in various ways to draw us into relationship with him, indwelling us with his very self that we might carry on the mission on which Jesus has sent us as he himself was sent. We have the boldness of the Spirit to carry us through the trials we might be asked to bear in his name, for a season or for our lives, so that God is glorified by the works he has prepared for us in which we walk.

Passages like this should disabuse us of the notion that Christians are destined for an easy path because of our faith.

The Gospel reading is the most succinct confirmation of the triune Godhead, for why would anyone have any need of being baptized in any name except that of God himself?

Some scholars try to reduce today's feast and the concept of the Trinity to a pantheistic concept. There is value in knowing and reflecting upon the presence of God in all things. But there is also value in taking one day out of the year, not to put the Divine Persons of the Trinity into a box of orthodoxy, but to consider the implications that the God who loves each of us so much as to have created this universe for us with all its marvels to reveal his glory then humbly came among us to reveal his glory in redeeming sacrifice and even more humbly reveals his glory by dwelling within us even though we still choose our own wishes over God's greater dreams for us - and to know that all of these actions are really one united expression of a love that we barely begin to know in this life.

And so it turns out that this time soaking in God's presence was probably better than playing at an extra Mass this morning.

The next challenge in the journey

And on the road to righteousness sometimes the climb can be so steep
I may falter in my steps, but never beyond his reach

O God, you are my God and I will ever praise you
I will seek you in the morning, and I will learn to walk in your ways
and step by step you'll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days - Rich Mullins, Sometimes by Step

I don't know what the summer is going to bring spiritually. Having completed the Exercises and the Easter season, I feel somewhat adrift. Being the adopted son I am called to be needs to remain my highest priority even when there isn't a clear "program" in place for it.

Money

So we realized when we were driving to KY that we left $100 in a budget envelope on the table.

When we got home, it was gone.

Also, today our youngest daughter found out that the car place is withholding her title. She paid them in cash. I hope she has a receipt.

A birthday and an anniversary

They coincide every year, of course, but in addition to being my bride's birthday, yesterday was also my 20th anniversary.

A beautiful day on Caney Creek

It was a fabulous day for kayaking, even with the showers as we paddled back in. The mini waterfall was refreshing, as was the rain. The temps were perfect: not too hot while the sun, nor too cool while it was raining.

Not exactly a vacation - especially by our recent standards - but a really nice  weekend extension!

Pentecost novena, session 7

We've already visited the scripture passages that prompted a great discussion at men's group this morning. The Acts 2 and 1 Cor 12 readings got us talking about our own witness to Christ Jesus. We talked about how some people have a gift for knowing the words to share, but our primary (that is, first, but not necessarily main) witness is house we live our lives. We also talked about how that may lead to opportunities to talk about the reason for how we're living. It also brought us around to the importance of our lives truly being transformed, or confirmed to Christ rather than to the world, or no amount of testimony in words will do anything but drive people away. We finished this discussion thread with an acknowledgement that the Spirit will lead us in the changes necessary for us to truly walk a life of integrity in Christ Jesus.

I love this group of men!

Pentecost novena, session 6b

Acts 2 (cont.)

Being therefore exalted at the right hand of God, and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, he has poured out this which you see and hear. - (33)

When the Holy Spirit does a work, the human person through whom the Spirit works does not claim credit for the work of God. Rather, we are quick to give God credit and glory for this wondrous thing, and to proclaim Jesus' preeminence in it all.

God is the one who has prepared every work in which we now walk, and God alone gets the credit for the good works he does.

There are potential traps all over this, though: false humility, undertaking things of ourselves rather than by the Spirit, failing to humbly submit to the authority of Scripture and the Church and claiming the authority of the Holy Spirit for our disobedience, just to name three.  How are we to know?  By the fruit of the Spirit!  Particularly, impatience and anxiety over the outcome we desire are indicators that we are acting of ourselves rather than in the Spirit.

Pentecost novena, session 6a

Acts 2

When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly a sound came from heaven like the rush of a mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.  And there appeared to them tongues as of fire, distributed and resting on each one of them.  And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. - Acts 2:1-4

Jesus had charged them to remain in Jerusalem and wait for the Holy Spirit. Now they receive the promised outpouring, and it changes everything!

(It was a long time before I was aware that there was a Jewish feast referred to by Hellenic Jews as Pentecost, so I thought that the name of this day was given by the Church to refer to this event rather than the Hebrew feast day to which it corresponds.)

The gift of tongues is manifested to the apostles, but more important is the transformation in boldness that is evidenced as, in subsequent verses, they go forth to proclaim the Gospel with the boldness that it warrants but which they had heretofore lacked. The Spirit has driven timidity from their hearts and loosened their tongues to proclaim the wondrous events to which they were witness. They are not afraid for themselves any more.

Today's word

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis /are you kidding me? of course I'm not going to provide the pronunciation!/ - a lung disease caused by inhaling very fine ash and sand dust, otherwise known as silicosis

This new word is brought to you by Pearls Before Swine; the strip's author has now gone to unprecedented lengths in his writer-as-a-character schtick. I will not bother trying to remember this word, though should I ever encounter it again I expect I will probably recognize it because of its pneumo and volcano roots.

Pentecost novena, session 5

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you would.  But if you are led by the Spirit you are not under the law. 

Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. - Gal 5:16-25

A study of contrasts. The world insists that there is nothing wrong with a little impurity, openly scoffs at any quaint notion of self-control that contradicts what it celebrates. Anything that squelches its idea of fun is oppressive and outdated.

Perhaps it has always been so.

But those who live by the Holy Spirit manifest fruit that is otherwise beyond us. These are different from the gifts discussed in Corinthians (going to have to go back there, but I have fruit on the brain this morning).  These are characteristics manifested in our daily living. They are the result of the branches abiding in the vine by the Holy Spirit. Like the spiritual gifts, they are to be sought after and asked for, for the purpose of manifesting Christ's presence in the world, and they are not attainable strictly by our own efforts, though we can certainly grow emotionally in ways that greatly facilitate them. Unlike the spiritual gifts, we are to work toward this fruit as well as pray for it.

Today's word

quisling \KWIZ-ling\ - one who commits treason : traitor, collaborator

Words based on people's names probably form the second most common etymology for new vocabulary for me, behind words borrowed whole into English in their foreign language form.

Pentecost novena, session 4b

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord;  and there are varieties of working, but it is the same God who inspires them all in every one. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.  To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are inspired by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills. For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body -- Jews or Greeks, slaves or free -- and all were made to drink of one Spirit. - 1 Cor 12:4-13

Within the charismatic renewal, this passage is often used for a couple purposes. First, it demonstrates that the gifts of the Holy Spirit have been at work in the Church since its earliest years. We tend to think of many of these gifts as strange expressions on the periphery of orthodoxy,when nothing could be further from the truth. It is important for believers to understand that these spiritual gifts are both desirable and normal expressions of the Holy Spirit's presence within us.

Second, and related to this purpose, it is used as a guide for neophytes in the renewal to pray for Spirit to manifest in them. We're often forced to put a fair amount of attention on tongues - which many refer to as "prayer language" - because this gift seems so strange to us now, and there's a funny thing about the Holy Spirit: if we don't want a gift, God won't force it on us. Therefore we end up talking a lot about tongues because people don't want anything they consider "weird" unless they can also see its benefits, and so they stifle the entire movement of the Spirit by not yielding to whatever gifts God wishes to pour out for the benefit of the Body.

Oh, we haven't gotten very far into to that part of Paul's analogy yet, but here's the point: these gifts are apportioned by the Spirit individually, but they are for the benefit of the whole Body.

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 

But as it is, God arranged the organs in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single organ, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are indispensable, and those parts of the body which we think less honorable we invest with the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior part, that there may be no discord in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.  - 1 Cor 12:14-26

So apparently the Corinthians were experiencing a sense of stratification over the Holy Spirit's apportionment of gifts among them. Paul is taking them to task for missing the entire point of the Spirit in pouring out those gifts among them in the first place. They are a gift of grace, and taking pride in some gifts at the expense of those who have received "only lesser ones" misses the entire point of grace and of the gifts.

You'd think that folks who have received such gifts from the Holy Spirit wouldn't need a lesson like this, but we have the same issue with our own gifts, spiritual or otherwise, and how we treat those whom we deem less blessed with their gifts.

Pentecost novena, session 4a

The first of several thoughts today from the first epistle to the Corinthians, chapter 12:

Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking by the Spirit of God ever says "Jesus be cursed!" and no one can say "Jesus is Lord" except by the Holy Spirit. - 1 Cor 12:3

A bit of Greek and ancient cultural study would be helpful for me here to confirm my suspicion that Paul would not consider that someone would say a thing they didn't believe to be true. That makes this passage mean something very different from how a modern person might interpret the verb "to say."

The Holy Spirit reveals Jesus as Lord. This is consistent with our previous consideration of Jesus' teaching that the Holy Spirit convinces the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment, for what greater truth is there about these things than that Jesus is the answer to our need in all three areas?

But this passage is included here to set the context for these three chapters, which will discuss the various gifts that the Holy Spirit pours out upon the church and the implications of this one verse for those who apparently were tending to judge others based on the perceived quality of the spiritual gifts entrusted to them. Paul is starting the conversation by saying, "Enough of this! Our dignity as fellow followers of Christ outweighs any consideration of the superiority of our gifts. Where is your humility?!"

A discussion of the gifts is important today, that we might be open to the movement of the Holy Spirit in ways that we might otherwise dismiss. But the gifts are not the most important nor the fundamental thing, which is the lordship of Jesus Christ!

commitment vs.feeling?

Or some other contrast of greater concern?

Quoted on FB by a relative:
I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling again my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you. - Dirty Dancing

Sometimes my life is more like:
I'm scared of feeling for my whole life the way I feel now, but I'm still committed to loving you no matter what.

#loveisaverb

Pentecost novena, session 3

Related to session 1,  inspired  by Fr. Satish's homily:

When the Holy Spirit convicts us regarding sin and righteousness and judgment, the very first thing that happens is that we become agents of mercy. I receive a gift of forgiveness and mercy which I can never deserve, and this makes me hunger for others to receive it, too. While I may become more aware of the difference between sin and righteousness, that awareness is expressed in the context of mercy and love. We set aside our judgment of others in light of the grace we know ourselves to have received.

The awareness of too many of today's Christians of their own depravity outside of Christ falls short of the level that it takes to be vessels of mercy above all else.

Trouble sharing

I wanted to share this article on FB, but in the end I just couldn't.

Pentecost novena, session 2

"But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Sama'ria and to the end of the earth." - Acts 1:8

The apostles were to await the Holy Spirit because otherwise they would be merely operating under their own power. The Holy Spirit is how the branches remain in the Vine and he in us, and apart from him we can do nothing.

Nothing.

Pentecost novena, session 1

So I'm basically finished with the Exercises, except for some make-up sessions I might go back and do. I'm not so big-headed as to call this "Step 33," even if I think of it as continuing to keep the discipline of the Exercises going for at least a while longer.

I think it makes sense to start off with the "other side" of the scripture passage of a recent session, which dealt with the Ascension but also talked about the Holy Spirit. Having looked at the Ascension aspect, it makes sense to see what it reveals about the Spirit.

Nevertheless I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.  And when he comes, he will convince the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more; concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged." - Jn 16:7-11

The bold phrase above is why I don't put much faith in the opinions of those who don't follow Christ, no matter how convinced they are of the rightness of their thinking. Those who are not following the Holy Spirit have an incomplete view of sin, righteousness and judgment, rooted in a short-term perspective that fails to consider the most important realities. The most vociferous atheists have taken the view that everyone who believes in God is stupid. I don't hold them in the same disdain, mind you: there is a real danger in thinking that everyone who disagrees with you about the nature of the universe is less of a person for it. But that doesn't mean I should take directions from someone who doesn't know where I'm going.

The world has no idea about sin and righteousness and judgment. It isn't that I don't sin, but when I do, I at least generally know I'm sinning, or will come to see that when it's pointed out to me. Not so the world.

"I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you. ” - Jn 16:12-15

Only the Holy Spirit can guide us in truth, because God is the truth (and the way, and the life), and God is so far beyond us that only God can reveal God to us. Nobody has figured out God on their own. The other day I was alluding over lunch to an idea that Fr. Dave shared some time past, that I'm pretty sure is from St. Augustine of Hippo, concerning the limitless nature of God and our finite mind. I'm sure I've written it before, but can't find it now. But the point of it is: when you reach a point at which you think you understand God, what you understand is not God.

We are hopeless, then, if we set as our goal to know God as we do the field of endeavor in which we are best versed. But he purpose of our relationship with God is no more to know about him, to understand him, than our relationship with our spouse is. The purpose of knowing the things we know about someone we love is so that we can love them. But it is possible for our focus on knowing about them to interfere with our love for them, becoming more about our knowing than about our being together.

The Holy Spirit does teach us about God, but by being in relationship with us, and bringing us into relationship with the entire Triune Godhead.

I don't always know why my wife does the things she does, and sometimes I judge her because of that. How often do we approach our relationship with God in a similar way? The Holy Spirit helps us to know that God is immeasurably beyond us and yet desires nothing more than to be in relationship with us. As we yield to the Spirit, under the guidance of what the Word and the Church have taught us about God, we find that we are able to draw closer to God even in those areas we don't fully understand.

Oh, I'm not saying this well, but I'm so glad to be in relationship with God rather than trying to approach him like the mother of all final exams.

Today's word

bowdlerize \BOHD-ler-ize\ - 1. to expurgate by omitting or modifying parts considered vulgar  2. to modify by abridging, simplifying, or distorting in style or content

I knew that this represented a modification, but I actually had in my mind that it meant the opposite of its first definition because, even though I knew how to spell both words, I still confused the beginning with bawdy. Glad I never used it that way!  

Ascension

Today is the traditional feast of the Ascension, although our archdiocese celebrates it on Sunday.

I do not at all feel as if I am seated with God in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Far from it.

zero

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 4

Jesus said to his disciples: “Now I am going to him who sent me; yet none of you asks me, `Where are you going?'  But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts. 
Nevertheless I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.  And when he comes, he will convince the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more; concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. ” - Jn 16:5-11

Again, these words from the Last Supper discourse precede Jesus' crucifixion, but are just as applicable to his ascension.

Alas, I have no heart to reflect further on them today, except to plead that he would convince those I love concerning sin and righteousness and judgment, and me as well, inasmuch as is necessary.

Another divorce

And another chip is gone from my heart today.

I don't think she should have had to continue to put up with what she did. They couldn't be together the way that they were. But I also think that they could have each gone to work on their issues if they'd wanted to, but that neither of them was willing to work on themselves. They still aren't. One wants to feel better at the other's expense; the other wants to use self-esteem as a substitute for real growth.

God can heal what the government has declared dead. Please heal them, God.

I know I was an abominable father, but did I do nothing right? 

Yeah, I know it isn't about me.

He hurt my daughter terribly, but he was still my family.

She wants to sing. I want to cry. I want to cry for her, because she is too relieved to cry for herself. Someone should mourn, though. I don't wish her back in that situation, but I can be sad anyway, right?

Today's etymologies

The words aren't new, but I found the etymologies in this Words at Play post to be fun.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 3b

Continued from yesterday's post, sort of, with some thoughts from yesterday afternoon and last night:

We also, of course, fail to fully grasp the nature of God and of God's love. We think too often in terms of what God wants from us, as if that is some sort of need of God, forgetting that God is fully self-sufficient and is never surprised by anything we do, for he sees everything we're going to do as we do it just as we see everything we have done in the past, except with true clarity of vision unlimited by our restrictions of perception. (Of course, even that plays fast and loose with the concepts of time and eternity, for which we lack the language, which may just be a way of saying that I don't have time right now to consider how better to express eternity. But enough of this eternal tangent.)

So much of our experience of love is wrapped up in having needs that must be met. God loves us without having needs. Therefore, what God asks of us is always about what he wants for us (and the rest of his beloved ones) rather than what he wants from us.  So when someone says that God has everything for us but wants (or even demands) everything from us, they are only partly right. Rather, we are incapable of receiving everything from God while clinging to what we don't want to release to him.

But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 
and raised us up with him, and made us sit with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 
that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. - Eph 2:4-7

Really, I just want to draw attention to 6b. Our Lord, whose Body we are, has ascended and is seated at the right hand of the Father. So while God's kingdom is something for which we hope to experience in its fullness at the conclusion of our lives, we also partake of it now, because Christ is with the Father and we are in Christ by the Holy Spirit. The sacraments of our initiation have brought us into a relational union with God in which we grow throughout our lives, and through faith and by the Holy Spirit we are welcomed as fellow participants in the relational nature of God.

And people think that the Ascension isn't so important!

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 3a

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it, that the Father may be glorified in the Son; if you ask anything in my name, I will do it." - (Jn 14:12-14)

This passage was not included in the step, but it seems worth revisiting within this context.

Because Jesus has returned to the Father, we have an Advocate in heaven who has given his very life in his abundant love for us, and a Father who has likewise given his Beloved Son. We must get over the idea that God is an obstacle to our joy, which is based on an utter misunderstanding of the nature of joy, versus happiness or pleasure.  We also have a misunderstanding of the word "name," which in its biblical uses most often means something like "authority."  I believe we do not ask anything in Jesus' name unless we pray as he did:

• desiring nothing more than we do the kingdom of God for ourselves and for all
• trusting that the Father loves and knows us better than we love and know ourselves
• humbly accepting that the Father's ways are better than what we think is best

This is not excuse-making for why God doesn't answer our prayers. I have seen over and over again how prayers are answered in the name of Jesus, and sometimes they are answered exactly as we ask, and at other times they are clearly answered but in completely different ways from how we ask. When what we ask is most in line with God's desires for us to live holy lives rooted in his love is when our prayers are answered most in line with how we ask.

Today's words

riparian \ruh-PAIR-ee-un\ - relating to or living or located on the bank of a natural watercourse (such as a river) or sometimes of a lake or a tidewater

It seems I've seen this word before, as well as the related one below, but neither was really a part of my vocabulary.

littoral \ˈli-tə-rəl; ˌli-tə-ˈral, -ˈräl\ - of, relating to, or situated or growing on or near a shore especially of the sea

I didn't expect the latter word to be a homophone of literal, and expected at least one pronunciation with the second syllable accentuated.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 2e

Acts 1:1-12 (cont.)

And when he had said this, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, and said, "Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven." 

Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a sabbath day's journey away. - (9-12)

So, all my thoughts about this passage were actually more about what turned out to be my next reflection . . .

And so the disciples return to Jerusalem to await the promised outpouring of the Holy Spirit. A sabbath day's journey seems to be less than 3/4 mile, a distance which also fits with Jesus and the disciples going there after the Passover supper.

Even with the additional scripture passage which I've added as another session, I may still be a day away from beginning the Pentecost novena, unless I end up having multiple reflections on that passage. If so, perhaps I shall revisit one of the earlier steps from Holy Week which felt as if I gave it short shrift.

30 days

From Cassie..

"Basically I give up... For today.
I'm tired of people making me feel small. I'm tired of doubting my abilities and not being able to see my worth b/c I have someone else's voice ringing in my ear. You actually believe that I'm a bad parent and that disgusts me! Attack me on Mother's Day! How did I not see this one coming?! Stop for a second, look at me, see my heart, see what I've done, how hard I fight, see my spirit, see my struggles, see my scars, see my children, see my 4 little people and be proud. Be proud. I deserve it. Don't focus on which decisions of mine you would have done differently. Stop reminding me constantly what I failed at, what I've missed, what I don't have, what I can't do, and how I need to be better. Just be proud. Support me. Be loyal to me. Be uplifting. Be encouraging. BE PROUD.
 — feeling heartbroken."

I'm probably the one who made her feel that way.

But:

1: You know what? When the kids insist that they don't want to go to their mom's because there is no food in the house and mom is always on her phone, to the point of crying when we tell them that we're taking them home, I think you should know that, and my *not* telling you would be more unsupportive, disloyal, and discouraging. I was not attacking you.

2: I have no right to be proud of you, nor of any other human being. Pride is reserved for our accomplishments, and I did not accomplish you. But by no means either am I ashamed of you. 

3: Being "good enough" doesn't mean that you don't have things you need to be working on. Being too pleased with yourself, though, can be a hindrance to things that your kids need you to work on. 

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 2d

Acts 1:1-12 (cont.)

And while staying with them he charged them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, "you heard from me,  for John baptized with water, but before many days you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit . . . But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and to the end of the earth." - (4-5, 8)

I think I may revisit these verses in my Pentecost novena, but for now let's just consider the importance of the Holy Spirit and Jesus' ascension.

" . . . if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." - Jn 16:7b

Since these words are from the Last Supper discourse, some have interpreted this specifically to mean that Jesus must die in order to bestow the Holy Spirit, and I'm not arguing against that. Partly, that argument is based on Jesus' appearance to the apostles in chapter 20 of the same gospel, in which Jesus breathes on them and tells them to receive the Holy Spirit.

But what if the full power of the Holy Spirit was somehow stifled within them until Jesus had returned to the Father? Doesn't this make sense, both in the tradition of Elijah and Elisha and in our own knowledge of how remaining in the presence of our mentors can keep us from fully spreading our own wings?  I am not suggesting that God the Holy Spirit is limited in the same way, but that the disciples themselves may have been unable to receive his full power while they were continually comparing themselves to Jesus due to being in his presence.

Whatever the case, Jesus has indicated in several places that the Holy Spirit is another advocate, leading us in all truth and power when Jesus himself is no longer physically around to do so.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 2c

Acts 1:1-12 (cont.)

So when they had come together, they asked him, "Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?"

He said to them, "It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has fixed by his own authority." - (6-7)

From Moses (Ps 90:13) to David (Ps 6:3), the psalmists implored the Lord: How long? It is often our plea, too: How long must injustice and violence last? Our response to what we perceive to be God's failure to act as he should is too often to take matters into our own hands, answering injustice with impatient overreach - and, therefore, usually another form of injustice.

It isn't that God doesn't want us to act, but that he doesn't want us to over reach, to do wrong in the name of addressing wrong. He wants us to exercise bold humility, putting love into action within appropriate boundaries, and not trying to correct the mistakes we think that he has made.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 2b

Acts 1:1-12 (cont.)

Before I pick up with the next verse, another thought about the last verse from yesterday's reflection:

" . . . for John baptized with water, but before many days you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit." - (5)

This verse hearkens back to Lk 3:16, in which John the Baptist spoke similar words about Jesus to counter the people's inquiry as to whether John himself might be the Messiah. It is as if this second account addresses a gaping hole that was left unfulfilled in Luke's gospel, where the only reference to the bestowing of the Spirit upon the apostles is in the instruction at the end that they should stay in the city until they are clothed with power from on high. Luke then uses this as the launching point for this account of the Spirit's work in the Church.

Today's word

saltation \sal-TAY-shun\ - 1a. the action or process of leaping or jumping b. dance  2. the origin of a new species or a higher taxon in essentially a single evolutionary step

So, do former dancers reflect on their ex-saltation?  

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 2a

Acts 1:1-12

In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commandment through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. - Acts 1:1-2

It is unclear whether there was additional research via interviews by the author of Luke-Acts between the writing of the gospel and of the Acts of the Apostles. I'm going to continue to refer to that author in the traditional way, as Luke (or sometimes as St. or Dr. Luke).  But it is clear that this work is intended to go beyond Jesus' physical time on earth to the work that his mystical Body, the Church, takes on in his absence. Perhaps this extended time (as compared to that in the gospel) that Jesus spends with the apostles prior to leaving them via his ascension to the Father is intended to lay the groundwork for explaining the work they have done since.

To them he presented himself alive after his passion by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days, and speaking of the kingdom of God. - (1-2)

Perhaps this extended time (as compared to that in the gospel) that Jesus spends with the apostles prior to leaving them via his ascension to the Father is intended to lay the groundwork for explaining the work they have done since. St. Luke doesn't provide the details that St. Paul includes in the Letter to the Corinthians concerning the specific appearances of Jesus in these forty days, yet includes far more detail about this final one.

And while staying with them he charged them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, "you heard from me, for John baptized with water, but before many days you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit." - (3-5)

So instead of Jesus' immediate ascension as in the gospel, followed by the disciples praising God with some degree of boldness in the temple, here we have more detailed indications of how they came to be so bold, after more than a month of teaching from Jesus and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit that will be described in great detail in chapter 2.

This is more consistent with the multiple appearances in St. John's gospel, as well. Though Dr. Luke still doesn't take the scene back to Galilee, neither does his general description preclude time there.

Today's word

louche \LOOSH\ - not reputable or decent

A somewhat familiar word, but I swear I've heard it used as a noun, too. Maybe I'm thinking of scaramouch.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 1b

Luke 24: 36-53

One other thing to be observed from this session, which I lost a bit in the last reflection by not including more of the immediately preceding verses, is the reason for the disciples to return to Jerusalem with great joy. In Luke's gospel account, the ascension is recorded as having occurred immediately following Jesus' appearance to the gathered disciples following the report of the two disciples from Emmaus. So in this account, their joy may well be rooted in the immediacy of the wonderful news that Jesus is no longer dead.

I am just dumbfounded

It's as if you intentionally looked for an opportunity for us to do something separately that we could have done together.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - session 1a

Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and lifting up his hands he blessed them. While he blessed them, he parted from them, and was carried up into heaven. And they returned to Jerusalem with great joy, and were continually in the temple blessing God. - Lk 24: 50-53

The first of Luke's two accounts of the Lord's Ascension - and Luke was the only canonical writer to record this event - has fewer details than the one in The Acts of the Apostles.

The disciples are not filled with dismay at the Lord's departure from them, as they were when they thought his life had ended in tragedy. They are not sad for themselves at his absence, but rather are now experiencing "great joy."  Have they taken to heart the Lord's words that they should be glad for his sake that he returns to the Father? Blessing God is a hallmark of those who have encountered the risen Lord, even today when we do so by the Holy Spirit. In his gospel account, I think that Luke doesn't separate out the Pentecost experience of the Holy Spirit descending upon the apostles, which emboldened them for the witnessing to which he briefly refers in these last words of the gospel.

This is the last step of the Exercises, and I'm a little disappointed that there isn't one on the Holy Spirit and Pentecost, but I will probably reflect on that between concluding this step sometime before the Feast of the Ascension and Pentecost itself. In fact, I might do a sort of novena of reflecting, and there are plenty of scriptures to turn to for that purpose. I will leave further contemplation of the apostles' joy for then.

Today's word

gunite \ˈgə-ˌnīt\ - a building material consisting of a mixture of cement, sand, and water that is sprayed onto a mold

From today's Dictionary Devil puzzle, a word I've certainly heard before. I didn't recognize it, though, when I saw it, and I'm so desperate this week for new words that I'll settle for this one.

"Best friends" posts . . .

. . . on FB always give me a twinge. Not as much as siblings posts, but still.

Transforming (phase 4) - The Ascension (step 32) - Introduction

The apparitions tangibly show that the Son of God chose to remain human forever, prove that humanity is destined to enter eternal life, a fact that should lead to a new appreciation of the dignity of each human being. - Orientation, Step 32: The Ascension, Step-by-step Retreats

There are only a couple scripture passages included in this phase, and not much material for reflection.  I might spend a couple days on this introduction. I've spent too little time reflecting on the full implications of this wonderful mystery, so I will probably also revisit a quote or two from the Last Supper discourse that also shine light on the importance of this tenet of our faith.

But this one sentence, this phrase that starts it, smacked me upside the head! I suppose that many Catholics, like me, have this misconception - never really fully considered, let alone voiced - that Jesus was fully human when he walked on the earth prior to his crucifixion, but that when he rose, or certainly by the time he ascended, he stopped being human. Maybe we think he became superhuman. I'm not sure I can fully get my mind around the idea that Jesus is eternally human, and I think I need to be okay with that. But yes, this also means that I truly am eternal, as is every human being.

And yes, this affects the dignity with which I need to revere all others.

Transforming (phase 4) - Jesus appears to the disciples on the lakeshore (step 31) - session 3

(H)e appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brethren at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me. - (1 Cor 15: 5b-8)

I'm not sure what the purpose is for having this reading as part of this step (and it only calls for verses 6-8). To me, the important part of this scripture passage comes follows in later verses:

Now if Christ is preached as raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ has not been raised; if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified of God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised. If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all men most to be pitied. 

But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep.- (12-21)

One of the things I find most compelling about the apostles' testimony is that they don't try to make themselves out as something they aren't. They have included their warts: Peter's denial, Thomas' doubt - indeed, that of all the disciples, their collective abandonment of Jesus at his arrest, Saul's persecution of the church. If the resurrection were a falsehood, surely they would have taken the opportunity to present themselves in a better light, too. Paul, of course, would not have had that luxury, as there were too many contemporaries who were all too familiar with his persecution of the church. And in the verses I've skipped, we hear him bragging a little about how hard he has worked in light of the nature of his sins. But by and large, the New Testament writings do not present the followers of Jesus in the best possible light.

If this life is all there is, then our experiences in this world are all that matter, and we should maximize our joy so long as it doesn't diminish the joy of others. This is why we are to be pitied, because we preach a far different message from this and live a radically different approach to life.

Weird dream

Cousins in my dreams last night. I was driving around what was supposed to be Baltimore with one of my cousins, because we had tickets to the ball game. I wanted to see how the city looked following the riots, but we weren't close to where the damage was. We finally pulled into a playground and parked, and one of my cousin's friends who I know pulled up on a motorcycle. I threw my arm around his neck like we were best buddies and inquired carefully how he was doing, as his wife had recently died (in real life, he has been divorced for a couple years).  We made our way into a building which at first I thought was a back entrance to the stadium but turned out to be a brick apartment building. As we were walking down the stairs, my cousin's friend tried to squirm out of my grasp, and I let him go as we entered the apartment. There was my next younger cousin sitting with the guest of honor at a child's birthday party, perhaps one of her relatives but not one of mine. I greeted her with a hug, with which she didn't seem entirely comfortable. I then saw her sister standing on the other side of the child, but when I went to hug her I accidentally stepped on her toe, about which she gave me no end of grief during the brief remainder of my dream, from which I awoke when my alarm went off.

E-mail query and reply:

From a friend, last night: 

Been distracted lately as I try to work my way through Center for Action and Contemplation:  Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the twelve steps.

Came across this in Chapter Two :  Desperate Desiring . . .
"If we are to come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, then we will come to that belief by developing the capacity for a simple, clear, and uncluttered presence." - Rohr, Richard (2011-09-17). Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps (p. 14). St. Anthony Messenger Press. Kindle Edition. 

Thoughts?

My response at 1 a.m.:

Didn't Oswald Chambers say much the same thing? Whether we call it "focusing on the outflow" or "being more interested in our desired result than in the Person who so desperately loves us that he went to these extremes to simply be with us," it's the same thing. Eventually we need to seek God simply for God's boundless, awesome self rather than for what we want him to do for us.

It's also akin to Matthew Kelly's observation that seeking happiness is a fool's errand.

It's paradoxical. Of course we're looking for evidence of change in ourselves. But keeping our attention on ourselves and our agenda prevents us from simply being with God. Whatever else we want, we must hunger first for God.

Yet that doesn't that mean we shouldn't ask God to work in our life as we wish for him to do. It's just a matter of priorities. If your love for (your wife) were primarily about her care for your home, you'd lose sight of who she really is.

Well, it feels like this next round of antihistamine might be kicking in.  Hope I haven't been too incoherent!

There's some shorthand in there because of our mutual familiarity with the people I was referencing. Oswald Chambers wrote a bunch of sermons that were gathered and edited into a daily devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, which my friend and I used together for a couple years and would frequently reflect on when we got together each week. Matthew Kelly has written several books which we've both read, and my friend and I have heard him speak on a couple occasions. His point that I allude to above is that the more effort we put into seeking our own happiness, the less we do the things that truly lead to happiness.

Whirlwind weekend

A weekend that offered a couple of gilded chances to go south turned out mostly wonderful.

Friday evening my wife's sister and brother-in-law arrived for the weekend while I was wrapping up a tiling patch (that didn't completely take). We hadn't gotten our grocery shopping done yet, so dinner out seemed to be the solution, with my wife to shop afterward. They were discussing where to go for dinner when I pointed out that I couldn't join them because of the first Friday service I'd committed to support when the plan had been for them to arrive on Saturday. We agreed they'd pick me up something from where they'd decided to go to dinner. Then I passed the Five Guys on Brown St. and texted them that I'd just pick up a burger there. (Yum.) 

The mrs. was still shopping when I arrived home, so I'd eaten my burger and was getting my music ready for Sunday morning's liturgy when she called to say she was almost home. Her arrival came with the announcement that she'd way blown the money budgeted for this pay period for food (though not for the month). We got the groceries in and put away, and I finished setting up my music. Apparently it was at that point that she mentioned that she was headed downstairs to watch television, and I missed the announcement. A while later I went back to the bedroom, where I thought she was getting ready for bed, only to find it empty, at which point I came back out and noticed the downstairs lights on. It turned out she was about 40 minutes into a show that we usually enjoy watching together. She offered to start it over, but I thought I'd rather just go up to bed.

Once there, I realized that I was pretty hurt and upset, not so much by this individual incident as by how it fit into the pattern that has continued for years of her viewing wishes being a higher priority than our time together. It bothered me to the point of not being able to sleep, and I was feeling a bit angry, too. So when she came to bed, I went downstairs, where I realized that I hadn't seen the previous week's episode, either. So I watched them back-to-back - though I'm pretty certain that this doesn't qualify as "binge watching" even at this ridiculous hour of the night. About halfway through the first one, my wife came down and curled up beside me on the sofa. I ended up staying up with her about three hours later than I should've on Friday night, as it was already later than I wanted to be up when she had started watching it without me.

Saturday I had to be up fairly early for a meeting. When I came home I walked down to the local Catholic gift shop for a few cards we needed where, as hoped, I ran into our guests who had stopped there on the way back from a morning walk. When we got home, my SIL's husband and I went to work on the trampoline and enclosure that we'd bought the grandchildren for Christmas and which the weather has just now been getting good enough for. After getting that together over the course of a few hours, I went to pick up some chicken to make one of our favorite dishes for dinner. This was a longer errand that I hoped for due to the busyness of the meat counter. When I arrived home, the younger half of the grandchildren were there, bouncing merrily on the trampoline, each of them coming over to greet me with a thank-you hug. I picked some mint and mixed my annual julep, then bounced with them for a while before the Derby. We had a relatively major meltdown when the oldest of the present grandchildren insisted that it wasn't fair that we wouldn't let her have water on the trampoline this first time, so I missed all but the home stretch of the race, which was probably just as well given that I had no inkling of who was favored or what owner or trainer I might prefer to see rewarded with their horse's victory. The obedience issue addressed, I cooked a late supper - by design, since we'd eaten a late lunch - which all the adults and one of the grandchildren enjoyed, but we were prepared for the latter with an alternate plan for the kids, so that went well. I did up the food prep dishes before taking my SIL up on the offer of washing the rest of them, then sat to read the next chapter and a half of The Horse and His Boy with my granddaughter. I'm so enjoying this chance to spend time with her, though it has been very slow going since they moved out.

While we were reading, my wife put our youngest two granddaughters to bed and, when we were finished reading, their older sister showered and grandma took her and her brother home - where they were to get ready for their first Communion on Sunday afternoon - so that g-ma could have them go to bed and wait for their mom to get home from work. It was a perfect occasion for the younger ones to stay, as g-ma wouldn't have to get them up and moving in the morning. I soon went to bed for the night, though didn't sleep very well, and as usual the sunrise woke me. I was able to complete my daily intercessory prayer time before either of the youngest granddaughters awoke, then had some very nice time with the six-year old before her sister got up. She was momentarily annoyed because g-ma wouldn't let her use the computer, but we took the opportunity to read together instead. Then I got ready for morning Mass while grandma took over babysitting chores.

Mass went very nicely. Our homilist was our adult formation director, and I enjoy what she shares while being simultaneously jealous that she has the opportunity and concerned about the precedent. The music went well, and our friends from Colorado Springs were there, with a promise that they'd be over later for the party after the First Communion service in the afternoon. The service was a little long, though, so I got home after noon and needed to clean some deck furniture and stuff. I'd just gotten my church clothes back on and was putting on my shoes when the mother of our grandchildren called, two minutes before our First Communicants were supposed to be at the church, to tell us that she'd just gotten out of the shower and ask us to come get the kids (about a 7-minute drive each way), then to scold me for my unhelpful response when I had the nerve to be upset with her about the call. So I may have bent the speed limit a bit getting them to the church as little late as possible. Then we looked anxiously for mom's arrival, which finally happened two minutes before the start of Mass.

The service was lovely, and afterward mom had to go change her top because she'd forgotten to put on deodorant, so we took the kids to the house, where mom finally showed up over an hour later (remember: 7-minute drive, each way) to spend time with the folks who had come to celebrate with us and her kids. There were a couple of trampoline conflicts, and more difficulties obeying, but the company was wonderful and we had a great time. The first wave of guests left before we remembered the cake. Oops.

The last wave of guests was leaving when I realized that there was another small problem. There was another event in the evening: our oldest son-in-law was receiving his Associate Degree. This was the other reason that my wife's sister and her husband, our daughter's godparents, had come for the weekend. They were going to take my camera with them to the graduation, but forgot it. But since most everyone was gone, I was now free to attend the graduation, too, as well as go out afterward with them as we'd planned. At the last minute my wife decided to go, too, which became possible when our good friend and former neighbor agreed with middle daughter and son-in-law to help with clean-up. Youngest daughter, evidently, made very little contribution to this effort. I guess she didn't want to use up all her cleaning energy, which I'm glad she at least applied to her own home later in the night.  (Actually, I heard that she had some good quality time with her kids on the trampoline.) We had some difficulty catching up with the family at UD Arena, but finally another set of texts indicated that they weren't in the section they had first indicated, and yes, they had seats available for us down close. It was good for us to be there, and our son-in-law was justifiably proud of his accomplishment. Afterward, not really being hungry as we'd had our main meal already, we made due with an appetizer at the local sports bar which served as the post-graduation supper location. Going there with them afforded us more precious time with the older grandchildren, except for the oldest, who didn't come to the graduation.

Still and all, it was a wonderful weekend. When we got home the house was cleaned up from the party except for some dishes in the sink - not too many - which I did just a few of before work and the wife finished up this morning.  

Today's word

cozen \KUZ-un\ - 1. to deceive, win over, or induce to do something by artful coaxing and wheedling or shrewd trickery  2. to gain by artful coaxing or tricky deception

A word I've seen but must not have heard; thought it was pronounced \KO-zun\. Every time I see it - which hasn't been often, mind you - it takes me a minute to distinguish it from the noun coven.

Alone again, naturally

Seriously, I'd have watched it with you. I wanted to watch it with you. I didn't even know where you were.

Transforming (phase 4) - Jesus appears to the disciples on the lakeshore (step 31) - session 2

Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him; but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age." - Mt 28:16-20

St. Matthew records only two resurrection appearances of Jesus: the first to Mary and Mary; and this one to the disciples in Galilee, where he had told the women to have them go. Having spent the last few days in John's gospel, we might think, "How can they still have doubted after the appearances in Jerusalem?" But there are no such appearances in this gospel; in this case, some doubted because they are encountering the risen Lord for the first time.

This gospel, of course, concludes with the great commission. Sometimes I think we put a greater emphasis on advancing the American Dream.

Today's words

Today's WOTD (aficionado, just to save the reader the click if they're not inclined to read on) is a familiar one, but I enjoyed reading about its linguistic ties to its relatives.

But I was especially pleased to see this link to 10 words from the Unabridged dictionary, with only one of which had I any existing familiarity. There are some gems in there, and I'm glad I clicked for the pronunciation of the first one.