This morning I find myself thinking about how challenging it is to remember how awesome God is, to soak in the remarkable truth that he has made me his son, and to trust that he will provide for everything my family and I need, when I am dealing with the consuming circumstances of my life in this world. I completely forget that my true citizenship is not of this world, and having any sense of God's presence and the joy of the Spirit is utterly beyond me. Yet when I cannot reach God (all the time, really; none of us can ever reach God by our efforts), as soon as I just bring myself to cry to him he reaches me, grants me the grace of his presence to survive the moment, reminds me that he is always with me in whatever I am going through. Soon I am again in touch with the joy of being his.
But it seems that, too often, I must reach a point of desperation before I'll utter that cry. Until then I am too determined to just manage it. Our societal insistence on independence is so ingrained in me - or maybe it's just my Adam-like insistence on having a good reason (or excuse) to make my own way - that I often fail to seek God's presence until my pain makes it impossible to deny that I must. This can lead me to dark and very sad places.
Thank you, God, for bringing me back to your light and joy.
No comments:
Post a Comment