Karl always seemed supremely confident in the rightness of his position, which usually seemed appropriate since he was careful to submit himself to Church teaching in most matters. Sometimes he carried it to an extreme, and in one case made the newspapers in a rather gross way for this; the homosexual community hated him for how he expressed what he considered to be the truth with what must have seemed to them an utter lack of love and respect.
We were invited to their house after that, just once, for a cookout, and had a lovely time with him and his wife. I think it was probably in appreciation for the letter of support I shared with him while he was in trouble. We had a very nice time that evening. But by no means would I describe myself as close to Karl. I know another man who would certainly consider himself a good friend to him, and I hope he is at peace in his spirit as he deals with Karl's suicide. I learned of his death while we were in Hawai'i, but only discovered last night that it was by his own hand.
I had no idea he was in such emotional turmoil. It illustrates how even investing our faith in the teachings of the Church won't make us emotionally healthy or protect us from despair, I guess. It's amazing how we can believe all the right things and still not have an intimate relationship with Jesus that transforms and heals us. My friend at Lompoc has been learning the same lesson in another way. I suppose that one difference between them is that this friend does, in fact, have a relationship with Jesus that has been carrying through his difficult days. He becomes more cognizant of the Lord's presence and work in his life each day.
And yet, even now, my own relationship with Him doesn't keep me from sometimes feeling despair, even if I mostly manage to avoid being in it.
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