My two meetings this morning had me feeling back in my element. That feeling of hopelessness that has been such a continual undercurrent felt distant and almost silly.
I came home and caught a nap, from which I was startled awake by the telephone, which I mistook for the alarm on my cell phone. But it was daylight, so I just knew I'd overslept, though I couldn't figure out what day it was because I knew I'd already gotten up Saturday and I wouldn't have had an alarm set for Sunday. In my confused haze, I ventured out to the kitchen to look at the time, still confused by the rainy daylight. into thinking that it was a morning, but now sure I was very late to something. Am I missing work? I saw the mis-set clock on the coffeemaker first, then remembered I needed to look at the microwave. 3:00? That couldn't be right; there must have been time left from someone using the microwave. No, it really does say that it's 3:00.
Finally reality starts to break through to my dawning consciousness, I remember I was taking a nap and realize that it really is 3 p.m. on Saturday afternoon. Very disconcerting and unsettling experience, though.
The next couple of hours were a flurry of more activity than I knew we had left to get ready to host tonight's meeting. By the time I made my trip to the grocery store, that feeling that had seemed so inappropriate by the end of the morning was back in place again. *sigh*.
The meeting tonight was very nice, and we are going to serve as our marriage encounter circle's leaders for the next two years. Everyone else was praying that we would, apparently. I was surprised when Teri grabbed my arm and started raising it to volunteer us. We'll see what this brings.
I am now ready for bed, deep nap notwithstanding.
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