utter failure

ok. you apparently can't serve as a resource for me in dealing with this, as much as my therapist almost insisted that you should, that you must, that we won't be a healthy couple until i can turn to you for your help with this. but i can see that it's always going to hit too close to home for you, that you're never going to believe that it isn't at all about you. i can understand why that's so hard; i'd probably feel the same way if this was your issue - i've always felt that way about your issue, in fact. at any rate, you can quit trying or pretending - whichever it is you've been doing by by asking me the question once every few months - to be helpful if you can't handle getting the answer you don't want occasionally. seriously, that's worse than no help at all. way.  no, you shouldn't have to deal with it. but at this point it's just an ugly habit, probably way less harmful than smoking would be. i can beat myself up for it without your help.  so if you can't just assume that it's still going to be a problem area that i'm always going to have to work on, and ask me about it with that mindset so that you're not hurt and disappointed if it still is, then just leave me alone with it. i'll try not to go down the rabbit hole, and i'll try to make sure that my local friend who keeps me in line knows that we have to talk about this regularly.


then maybe you can just deal with the issues that are yours to handle if you're going to become the best version of your self instead of acting as if i'm the only one who's screwed up, and i'll focus on trying to become the best version of my self and the husband you deserve, since i've obviously failed so miserably at that. again.