Damn

That hurts.

Don't worry; it isn't you. You were going to be gone next week anyway. And you've made it clear that the friendship I wanted with you is outside of your boundaries. It was probably outside of mine, too, when I first wrote this and didn't publish it, because I can't let myself be closer to anyone than I am with my bride. Maybe your reluctance was just because you knew you'd be leaving soon, but I think otherwise.

It's okay. Those are your boundaries to set. I certainly don't think of myself as worthy of your friendship, anyway.

But that does leave me alone here on the outside of everyone I want to be inside of. And you aren't the one that it really hurts to be rejected by.

It also leaves me still feeling called to share a testimony with you that we'd both apparently rather I just keep to myself.