Those who fail to learn from history . . .

I can't even tell you how far back the pattern goes.  Certainly it predates my stepfather's influence in my life, but he sure honed it to perfection:

RESIST!

reSIST!

Resist.

resist

resist

resist

yield

(repeat)

It must not be so any longer.  It feels different now, but I must do whatever it takes to make sure that it actually is.  That this one would be less destructive than the worst is irrelevant.  It would still hurt terribly, and I will not.