We fall down

(started on 6/22)

You (whoever you are, reading this) don't know them, but he and his wife were more instrumental in the transforming of my life than anyone else on the planet.  They are dear friends, and he was my spiritual hero. I suppose I forgot that every hero is still a flawed human being and, moreover, that we never get to choose their flaws.

My own failings were so much greater.  It seems significantly unfair that he should be facing a punishment more than two orders of magnitude more severe than mine.  But he's caught in the machine now and, for either of us, focusing on the inequity of it would be a hindrance.  The spiritual truth is that that's still better than the trap he'd gotten himself ensnared in, and however I can help him live free from the latter, I will do it.

I hope we can be a resource for them.  I know he has plenty of support, but in this sort of situation there's no substitute for someone who has dealt with something similar.  His offense was very different from mine, though with enough similarities of nature, and I know things about the road to health that no one who hasn't traveled down it or studied it extensively is at all likely to know.  There's a reason why peer group therapy was a key component of my treatment program and, if he simply relies on the support of well-intending friends with an abundance of wisdom both practical and spiritual, it's too possible to avoid dealing with root issues that must be addressed.  There's a tendency to look at this sort of thing in a vacuum, as if it exists outside the context of the rest of one's life, and if we just fix that one thing then we'll be fine.  The truth is, the rest of one's life is the context in which this sort of thing happens, and if we aren't willing to change vastly more than this one area then we'll never really be a wholly healthy person.

First things first, I know.  In this sort of situation, one must deal with any justice-system ramifications before focusing on the therapeutic realm.  But I'm concerned that my friend and those who support him might not realize or understand that there's more work to be done than what might appear on the surface.

As I lift this dear family up and seek to support them in this dark time in their lives, I pray too for those who may have looked up to him, that they may not have their faith shaken.