Still, there are plenty of elements common to my story in them: showers, roughhousing, sleepovers, the surrogate father figure, rewards for "cooperating," shame, fear, long-term patterns of abuse. I was older, and had a better idea than some of these victims what was happening to me, but was no more equipped to stop it than they were. I am free now, and my heart goes out to these young men as they travel the road from victim to survivor.
"A third accuser, known as Victim 3, was an Army National Guard soldier who testified Thursday that despite being fondled by Sandusky he had viewed him as a father figure and was crushed when he was sent to a group home and Sandusky never contacted him again.
"He testified that he felt uncomfortable when Sandusky touched his genitals in bed and he would roll over to prevent anything else from happening but that he didn't tell Sandusky not to get into bed with him.
"'He made me feel like I was a part of something, like a family,' the man said. 'He gave me things that I hadn't had before.'
"He said that he loved Sandusky and that Sandusky treated him like he was part of an extended family that made him feel 'unconditionally loved.'"
"An accuser called Victim 6 testified that Sandusky described himself as a 'tickle monster' and embraced the then-11-year-old boy in a Penn State shower in 1998, an encounter that prompted an investigation but ended without any charges filed.
"Now 25, he told jurors Sandusky embraced him in a locker room shower, lathered up his back and shoulders then lifted him chest-to-chest to a shower head to rinse out his hair.
"'As I started to go over it in my mind I quickly realized, my perception changed thinking about it as an adult as opposed to an 11-year-old,' he said. 'That was inappropriate, what happened to me.'"
" . . . after the coach pinned him while wrestling in the basement of the Sandusky home and performed oral sex on him.
"The man, identified in court papers as Victim 10, said Sandusky also assaulted him on other occasions in 1998 and 1999, including once at a pool and another time in the basement. "
" . . . another man, identified as Victim 5, said he met Sandusky at Second Mile Camp in 1999 and began attending Penn State games with Sandusky and others. In 2001, he said, Sandusky asked him to work out at a gym on campus and then groped him in the showers.
"Fighting back tears, he testified that Sandusky 'kept lurching forward, but I didn't have anywhere to go. I felt his penis on my back.' He said Sandusky touched his genitals 'and then he took my hand and placed it on his (genitals).'
"Afterward, the 23-year-old man said, Sandusky drove him home and made no eye contact. Sandusky never called again, and Victim 5 said he kept the secret from everyone until last year.
"'I wanted to forget it,' he said. 'And I'm embarrassed.'"
"Another witness, identified as Victim 7, said he was 10 when he met Sandusky through the charity in 1995. He said Sandusky showered with him repeatedly and embraced him during sleepovers.
"Sandusky was 'wrapping himself around me, holding me tightly' when he slept over at the man's house, the 27-year-old man said. He said he now has an aversion to chest hair because of his contact with a sometimes-shirtless Sandusky, who has acknowledged he showered with boys but says he never molested them.
"The accuser also described Sandusky rubbing his nipples and touching him beneath his shorts.
"The man recalled attending Penn State football games with Sandusky's family and receiving free tickets from Sandusky as recently as 2009.
"'I was kind of ashamed about it. I didn't want anybody to know,'" he said. 'Probably most importantly, I didn't want my parents to keep me from going to games. I didn't want them to sort of freak out.'
"He said that he told his parents of the abuse only last year, after being approached by police, and that many of the details have only come to him in the past year or so. He likened blocking out the negative memories to 'putting stuff in the attic.'
"During cross-examination, defense attorney Joseph Amendola noted that the man's testimony was more detailed than what he told a grand jury last year. The witness replied that he had started going to counseling.
"'Talking about different events and through talking about things in my past, different things have triggered different memories,' he said."
"Choking back tears, he (victim 1) said that Sandusky kissed him, fondled him and engaged in oral sex with him during numerous sleepovers in the basement of Sandusky's home while the coach's wife was upstairs.
"Now 18, he told the jury about an early encounter with Sandusky that escalated to oral sex.
"'I spaced,' he said. 'I didn't know what to do with all the thoughts running through my head, I just kind of blacked out and didn't want it to happen. I froze.'
"He said he stayed quiet about the abuse, in part because his mother thought Sandusky was a positive influence, but he began trying to distance himself from Sandusky.
"Sandusky got angry with him because they had drifted apart, and things escalated into an argument between the boy's mother and Sandusky, the teenager said.
"'I got extremely, extremely scared,' he said."
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