It occurs to me that my insistence on being forthcoming has had an interesting and potentially unhealthy side-effect. In every relationship in my life, my gratitude for the other's forgiveness or acceptance has become disproportionate. Perhaps this has become a continual reprise of a long-ago relationship decision, in which I love because I am loved. This is, of course, how our relationship with God is supposed to be, but I think that our human relationships are intended to be, in total, more balanced. And perhaps there's a flip side for others, too: maybe they feel internal pressure to remain my friend.
In some cases, I see that God has used this entire dynamic for good. But the latter part of it is related to what Fr. Kelty warned me against, so many years ago.
(I also think that I am entirely too "in my head" again.)
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