Deeply moved and affirmed

I can't believe I haven't shared about this already. I think it's because I was too busy dealing with my Father's Day anxiety by the time I was back at a computer to share it.

The whirlwind trip to MD for my wife's brother-in-law's surprise 70th birthday party was wonderful in several ways. A yummy crabcake lunch was followed by an unexpected afternoon visit to Annapolis. A miscommunication kept me from visiting my favorite aunt, but there was really nothing to be done about that. Then came the surprise party. I got to keep watch, and ask people whose cars Al would recognize to park around the side of the building. I was able to let everyone know when the guest of honor had arrived, and he was indeed taken by surprise.

After dinner, each of his surviving sons briefly shared about what his dad meant to him. After he took a moment to affirm them in return, as he approached to hug them, I noticed that he kissed each of them on the lips, and that they returned the affectionate gesture. I think I'd seen this exchange between them before, though it has been a couple of years for me. It is rare in our culture, of course, to see men express their love for each other in this way. I felt privileged to witness it, and a little jealous to not have sons of my own with whom to share in this beautiful exchange, made more touching by its rarity.

After the party, my wife and I did a bit of grocery shopping for the next day's drive home before returning to her sister and brother-in-law's house. He opened his cards and gifts, and soon it was time for me to retire for the evening. My long day had started about 4:30 a.m., and I knew I was on the hook for most of the drive back. I hugged my sister-in-law, who thanked me for lending her my wife and for coming. As I approached to hug her husband, Al kissed me on my lips.

This is a man who knows my worst moments, and who understandably took some time to come around to me thereafter. We have long since put that behind us, but I had no inkling that he would ever bestow on me the same gesture of love which I had just seen him share with his own sons. While I was surprised, I was also deeply touched, and am grateful that the unexpectedness of the moment did not cause me to hesitate to respond in kind.

I am still moved, beyond what these feeble words can express.