The fourth phase: Transforming

It is important to remember that these experiences, the sorrow as well as the joy are gifts of the Holy Spirit to pray for during the Exercises and not to be induced by will or performing certain techniques. - Introduction to the fourth phase

The fourth phase is subtitled "To transform the confirmed, or the unitive way in joy." I am feeling a little disunitive, to tell you the truth, because of doing these exercises on my own rather than with my companion. But decades of experience tell me that this is the way it must be, and that I must not allow it to become a source of division between us.

The introduction to this phase emphasizes the importance of not entering it just because of what the calendar says or because it should be time based on having gone through the third phase. Still, I had a significant association with Jesus' passion and death in the third phase, and have very much entered into the celebration of Jesus' resurrection. As a result, I judge that moving on to the fourth phase while the Church is celebrating the season of Easter fits with where I am spiritually an emotionally.

I appreciate that the retreat masters emphasize that our experiences of sorrow in Jesus' suffering and joy in his resurrection are not things to try to force by artifice or technique. I think it bears mentioning, as well, that they are more than merely our human emotional response to what we're hearing in these readings, both liturgically and in the exercises. I'm not sure what sort of personal transformation I might find in this phase, but I'm looking forward to discovering what the Holy Spirit has in mind. I'm also glad to be free of the severe time constraints that the liturgical calendar placed on the previous phase. I can afford time to reflect at the beginning of this phase before entering any of its steps, a luxury that was not available in the third phase. I am grateful that the availability of a vacation day on Thursday allowed me greater time to devote to reflection on the steps that were pertinent to that day. Perhaps had I realized how intensive this Triduum would become I might have opted out of some of my normal choir responsibilities for the sake of more time in these Exercise. Still, it is clear that my initial completion of them will afford opportunity to revisit the things that were skimmed over in the interest of remaining in step with the liturgical calendar, and in the process may further develop the pattern of daily reflection that contributes to deeper knowledge of my Savior's love.