Monday, April 27, 2015

From bondage to "still weak"-ness

The Unbound ministry takes away my excuses for failing to resist temptation. It reminds me of the power of Jesus' victory and brings that power to bear in my life in ways both spiritual and practical. Spiritually, it reminds me of the need to repent of things that I have tolerated or excused away as habit or as "no big deal." Practically, it reminds me to apply the 5 keys to spiritual freedom regularly in the face of my weakness.

I don't want to revisit ground that I covered in this lengthy post from last year, right after I'd first encountered the Unbound ministry. But I feel as if I had again let myself be spiritually bound, and even without having participated in a prayer session on Saturday, this morning I feel merely weak. By asking God to help me through my temptations to look wrongly upon my marriage and indulge my mind in aspects of my sexuality that I am certain are not from him, rather than feeling compelled to follow where those thoughts and fantasies take me, this morning I find I am turning my eyes away from myself and toward him, and relying on his strength rather than trying to manufacture my own.

There does remain one area in which I believe I need to specifically ask for prayer in the Unbound model. I must stop looking for an avenue of escape from my life. Though I have not been as far up the scale as in my darkest days, I have been more consistently further along it than is healthy for me, and I can see that there is likely a spiritual component to that as well as my own thought habit.

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