It is more important to be kind than to be right

I first encountered this truth in the context of a lie.  Someone presented it as part of a list of things that Andy Rooney, or maybe Walter Cronkite, indicated he had learned in the course of his life, but it turns out that list wasn't really from whomever it was attributed to.

That doesn't make this observation any less true.  And the time it is most true is when we are in the wrong.

I have a friend, probably the only friend I have who knows my truth yet I don't feel especially close to, who insists on being right without recognizing the harm he is doing to his family in the process.  Last night we were supposed to spend time with him and his family, but received a very terse phone call from him cancelling at the last minute.  I had my wife call his to make sure that things were okay, pretty certain that they must not be.

It seems that, in the course of the evening, he realized that he needed a battery for something.  The only batteries of the type he needed had been purchased for his oldest son.  Now, this man has a long history of clashes with his son over their individual weaknesses, which feed each other like gasoline vapor and open flame.  The son has a degree of autism along with other issues, and the man is very much a control freak, expecting his children to respect his wishes despite his utter inability to be a nurturing dad.

In this case, when the son mentioned that the batteries had been purchased specifically for his use, his mother very courteously asked him whether it might be okay for them to borrow one from him.  At this point dad saw nothing except a power struggle, and began to berate his wife for shifting the power to his son. He became overbearing and insulting, loudly denigrating her for her ignorance in giving their son so much control over this situation.

The wife wisely left, at that point, prompting the cancellation call.  She unwisely left the children behind, and we felt it was important to check up on them.  We're pretty sure that no physical abuse occurred, but the situation was quite tense and we knew that wasn't going to be nurturing for anyone.  Indeed, the daughter had left the house to walk to the local park, and reported that the youngest brother was in tears and the older one, the one at the center of the conflict, was swearing and breaking things.

We went to the park to give the daughter a ride home, and for my wife to check in on her in person.  They've had a special relationship since my daughter sponsored her I hope we didn't overstep our bounds in attempting to make sure that everyone was safe.  though we didn't fear for their physical safety.