Guarding my person

What makes us who we are, and how are we to guard that?

Does that seem like a useless question?  It seems crucial to me, and fits into everything that I've been chewing on about myself and about the world.  If, as I have believed for so long, there is a loving God, I have clear answers: God has made me who I am, and to be the person God would have me be I must live in Him - by the Holy Spirit - and choose to do as He would have me do.

But if there is no God, well, I can still remember hearing a radio psychologist (Dr. Laura?) saying, "Don't tell me that you are anyone other than what your actions show you to be."  She was addressing someone who was trying to make a distinction between the depth of her feelings and the shallowness of her actions, but the point is still true, as far as it goes.

Where it falls short is that our actions, the decisions we make, don't exist in a vacuum outside of what we think and feel.  These three things - our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors/actions - interact with one another in response to various stimuli from our environment, but to some degree our thoughts and feelings are themselves stimuli for our actions.  The choice we make in responding to a feeling or emotion we may have is guided by our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, our world, and the situation we are in.  So the key to guarding ourselves becomes keeping watch over our thoughts so that we have the correct framework in place to guide our actions in response to our feelings and external stimuli.

So if I am to preserve my self-respect as I consider my beliefs about myself, the world, and God, it will be important to be especially vigilant of the person I want to be.  I may yet need to examine why it's important for me to be certain ways, especially when the character traits I value are so closely rooted in my lifelong belief system, but that consideration bears its own hazards and may be best left for a later time.