I find that the most consistent indicator of my security (about anything) is my inner state when I encounter someone who disagrees with me. If I feel defensive or dismissive, I'm probably not really so sure of myself, whereas if I feel peaceful I'm generally more comfortable with my own position.
I wish I could claim this was an original thought, or that an insight that I gained by careful self-observation. This is almost universally true, and my long-ago counseling team was the first to successfully convict me of it. It ended up being a breakthrough moment in therapy for me, and a lesson I've never forgotten.
I may not have finished with this counseling team, but I probably took my biggest strides with them. There was one counselor in particular who seemed to be able to pose just the right question or make an insightful observation to pierce my defensiveness and help me to see a deeper truth that I'd been avoiding.
As a result of my experiences, I tend to think that those who are most vitriolic in their discourse are similarly insecure with regard to the positions they espouse. This has the effect of pouring the fuel of false self-assuredness onto the fires of disagreement.
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