Cautious introspection

As I read other people's often-agonizing stories of self-discovery, or those from the perspective of their (usually former-) spouses, I seem to see a common element of self-aggrandizement.  Is there a line between healthful introspection and selfish egocentricity?  I think there a clear differences between the two, so the more pertinent question is: how can I recognize it and avoid the path that leads to it?  I think of two analogies I've heard concerning perspective that I think are applicable:

Held close enough to the eye, a tiny pebble can block our view of the sun.

Looking at a wall through a tightly-rolled tube of paper and seeing only blue, we tend to conclude that the entire wall is blue even if we are really looking at the only small blue spot on the entire wall.

If I begin to think that the rest of my life and my relationships are obstacles to the "more important" task of self-discovery, if my own feelings seem more important than consideration for the people I love, if the areas I'm examining begin to seem like the most important parts of myself, then I will know that I'm losing my perspective.

I am determined, in my efforts to understand myself, to avoid choices that would crush the people I love along the way.