Friday, January 03, 2014

I am weak

My own struggles with purity of thought are bad enough, and I generally keep them to myself except for discussing them as appropriate with those to whom I am accountable - chiefly my wife and a couple close friends. I'll never know, of course, how weak I would be in this area without my abusers' influence in my life, particularly (his). But I think it would border on doubly sinful - blaming my own sinfulness on others: "That woman who you put here made me do it;" "That serpent made me do it." - to dismiss my own struggles as merely a byproduct of the things they (he) did to me. Whatever the causes, even wanting to be the person I am called to be is sometimes a struggle for me, and that is my own sinful nature to deal with.

Perhaps it is because they are not as weak in this area as I am that some of my fellow believers share and like (on social networks) so many things that I have to reject immediately in order to keep my own thoughts from conforming to the sexually-indulgent spirit of this age. I guess I'm glad for them, though, that they don't have to do battle against this weak spot that is my. persistent. thorn.

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