When I affirmed you in your Easter letter for our progress on prioritizing our "coupledom," I wasn't suggesting that we could quit working on it or drift back into the way things had been.
I've been dealing with some really old emotional baggage as a result of a few minutes of a t.v. scene that was on when I got home on Tuesday night. It would have been really nice to have talked with you about it. I'm pretty much done with it now, though, and it's another piece of me you may never know; if you ever ask me about it I'll be glad to share it, but I'm past it for now so will probably not bring it up myself. It isn't that I was hiding it from you; there was literally no opportunity to talk with you about it while I was dealing with it, short of interrupting you in the middle of something you were watching. I could do that, of course, and when I really need to I will.
When we get so distant from each other, there is nothing that bridges the emotional void I feel inside except real time together.
But you've also put the kibosh on weekly date night. I suppose you'd rather reserve the concept of a date for what it was when we were sixteen years old rather than have a regular opportunity for us to have quality time that allows us to deal with things. Is it because dealing with things is too much work and dates should always just be play?
(I know this next thing is harsh, but:) Or maybe it's just too much work, in general, being married to me? I mean, I've never thought of myself as "high maintenance," but maybe I am, in my own emotional way.
And maybe what I was lauding wasn't real progress, but just circumstance, normal ebb and flow?
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