How ironic that I should have this happen on the same day that I read about the concept of word aversion:
It's amazing the innocuous things that can remind me of him, that in a moment can transport me from being a (let's face facts) late-middle-aged adult on his way to another mundane day at work to the confused, bewildered, over-his-head abuse victim trying to find his way through the jungle of inappropriate relationships into which his mother's boyfriend has immersed him.
Today is World Hemophilia Day.
It wasn't enough for my eventual stepfather to have sex with everyone he could, including me, in the name of novelty - which is, after all, what often drives those with no control in that area of their lives. No, he had to share what he considered his more interesting experiences, too, even with the son of the woman I am convinced he loved as well as he was able. On one occasion, a woman he'd picked up in a bar was apparently warning him in the midst of the act that he needed to be careful because of her bleeding disorder.
But since "hemophiliac" is a five-syllable word, he found it hilarious (after the fact) that he thought she was referring to different five-syllable word which might have described her sexual preference. He apparently responded that he didn't care who else she went to bed with.
For some reason he thought this was an appropriate anecdote to share with me. On multiple occasions. Mocking the sound of her voice as she tried to express her concern to him. Cackling each time over how hilarious it was, underscoring that with an observation concerning his own lack of endowment.
What was a previously-sheltered teenaged boy - who loves and respects his mom whose boyfriend is having sex with him and boasting about his other exploits - supposed to do with all of that?
My sharing of this memory is not intended to make light of the issues that those who suffer from bleeding disorders must deal with. I always felt like this unknown stranger deserved way better than she got, both in the encounter and in the storytelling.
No comments:
Post a Comment