Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Sometimes doing the right thing hurts

When our youngest asked if we'd help out with the kids while she went to spend the weekend with her husband at Fort Polk, we both had our misgivings.  But we talked about it, and I thought we decided together to support them in this way.  Then yesterday she announces that she isn't coming back until two days later than we agreed to, because they apparently are getting their housing unit today and both have to be there to sign the paperwork.  That isn't how it worked for me, but then it has been 24 years since I was last in that situation and things might have changed since then.

So I get home from rehearsal last night, to which I'd taken one of the grandkids with me to ease the burden on my wife at least a little, to be told "I'm almost as angry with you as I am with her!"  So my understanding of how "we" came to the decision to support our daughter and son-in-law is apparently at odds with my wife's.

It seems really important to me to figure out if I indeed pressured her into this decision, and if so, how, exactly. It really seemed to me that we discussed together what it would take for us to be comfortable with this choice, and had agreed together about it before consenting.  Our relationship cannot be what it should be if my wife feels I'm railroading her into decisions.

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