The first station: Jesus is condemned to death

We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you,
because by your holy cross, you have redeemed the world.

(The first in a series?)

Who would dare to condemn to death the one through whom all life - and every thing - came to be?

It seems to me that I am probably that presumptuous judge:

• Don't I lament the things that are wrong in the world and rail against God for not doing anything about them?
• Don't I think my own ways are better than those God has revealed, that what I want is better than what God is providing?
• Don't I get dissatisfied with the goodness God has provided me, envious of those whose problems I judge as not so unbearable as my own?
• Don't I struggle to beat back my tendency to think myself better than others, even when I've proven otherwise?
• Don't I grumble against God, as the newly-freed Israelites did in today's first reading (of year A, for the RCIA Scrutinies, Ex 17:3-7), forgetting his past providence and doubting that he will meet my every need in the future?
• Don't I hesitate to share the Gospel with those around me, judging the acceptance of others more important than the Good News of his love and mercy?

Today's Gospel reading (again, year A, the Samaritan woman at the well, John 4:5-42) illustrates how Jesus acts toward us.  Rather than judge us harshly for our shortcomings, he draws us into his mercy, into relationship with him.  Eventually, before Pilate, he would accept the judgment that is rightly ours.  But it is my own day-to-day judgments that I think I'm to be aware of, now.

I've long tended to judge myself over my failings, but this not the same thing.  Instead, I hear Christ calling me this Lent to recognize how he longs to draw me more deeply into his love.  That will require that I take an honest look at how I might be resisting his grace.

(An interesting shoe which fits me too often: it isn't just others that I must be careful about judging.  If we are the body of Christ, transformed in him by grace over our lifetimes, then when we judge ourselves harshly, do we not condemn him, too?  Or maybe I'm merely denying his work in me?)