The nth time

"I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From whence shall my help come?  My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth." - Ps 121, 1-2 (RSV)

(in an unrelated note, yesterday's Dilbert is a tad close for comfort.)

My strength and my hope are not of myself, not in my intelligence, talent, creativity, personality, fitness of body, strength of character.  Also, not in my family, friends, job . . . okay, I think I've got the idea covered, if not all the specifics.  If God has gifted me in any of these areas, I must yet put my hope in the Giver, not the gift.  And yet I must accept these gifts, as well, receive them as God would have me be blessed by them, make use of them as God would intend.

"God will not suffer your foot to slip." - Ps 121, 3 (NAB)

When I fail to turn to my strength, for whatever reason, I will stumble.  Yet neither is my hope in my ability to turn to God, or to not stumble.  I'm going to have to accept the reality that I'm gonna stumble.

There seems to be a difference between this and the defeatism of already thinking the worst of myself, so either no other misstep matters by comparison or every one serves to reinforces my poor self concept.  It also seems different from the permissiveness that says that nothing is any big deal.  Time will tell.

I'm tired of stumbling, though.