Even when you've rejected "physically" . . .

. . . as being too hurtful to everyone, there's still psychically . . .

Seriously

We're an applications company. Isn't there any such thing as document version control around here?

Another friend leaving

I'm glad for my friends when they get to move on and further their careers and their lives.

And sad for myself.

Sometimes

. . . you just have to do what keeps you from snapping.

Today's long-sought word!

graupel /ˈgrau̇-pəl/ - granular snow pellets; called also soft hail

Courtesy of the latest Words at Play blog post, I finally have a word for the phenomenon I first and most frequently observed in the Aleutians! I had previously just referred to this form of precipitation as "Aleutian snow pellets," so I'm happy to see that most of my intuitive description is actually part of the definition of this word. There are other terms in this snowy post that are also new to me, but I'm so pleased with this one that I'm mostly ignoring the rest. (Although I think the family of words related to névé could prove useful.)

So now, in the "it's hell getting old" department: after realizing that this word seems a little familiar, I see that I actually encountered it almost 5 years ago in a Word of the Day. 

President Trump's PR cadre

The account of the President insisting that his spokesman make a demonstrably false statement concerning the inauguration underscores why I couldn't work for the man.

My integrity is all that I have left of my shattered youthful idealistic self-image. I know that God's grace will remain if I forsake even this, and I'm certainly not clinging to it in a futile attempt to merit what, by definition, no one can ever deserve. But neither would I throw it away simply because "the most powerful man in the world" blusters at me, and he would not likely tolerate that.

Today's word

barbican /BAR-bih-kun/ - an outer defensive work; especially : a tower at a gate or bridge

Wikipedia emphasizes the fortified nature of barbicans, which I suppose answers my question - regarding whether this word applied to the towers on more modern drawbridges over American waterways - in the negative.

Clowning around

"DON'T know how!"
"IIII've got aNOTHer one!"

I don't recall whether these two lines were from the same routine. I know the second one was from a clown routine at a circus that I went to when I was about nine or ten years old, in either northern Glen Burnie or Brooklyn Park, with the family of a friend from school. I laughed so hard at that routine that I peed myself. I think the first one was from another context, perhaps from a television comedy show. I don't know why they came to mind one after the other tonight. Just random neuron firings, I suppose.

zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

Today's words (edited)

ab ovo /ab-OH-voh/ - from the beginning

I should have known the meaning of this word. Also: I hate it when English speakers change the pronunciation of terms we have lifted directly from Latin, where in this is case it would be pronounced /ahb-OH-voh/.

klister /KLIH-ster/ - a soft wax used on skis

A new (to me) word from the Dictionary Devil puzzle. If I'd skied more often than once in my life, I'd probably know this word already!

autarky /AW-tar-kee/ - 1. self-sufficiency, independence; specifically :  national economic self-sufficiency and independence  2.  a policy of establishing a self-sufficient and independent national economy

Another DD word. Don't know that I'll remember this one when I ever need it . . . 

Have you seen my marbles?

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

I taught myself to quickly recite the alphabet backwards while proctoring exams as an Air Force technical instructor teaching electronic principles at Keesler. It was a mindless activity that helped keep me from going completely nuts as I walked the room and waited for trainees to finish their tests. The block test periods were usually 100 minutes long, although most students didn't use the full allotment of time, and we had to monitor them until the last trainee was finished.

I guess I've always been easily amused.

zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
. . .
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
zywxvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

Over and over again, as I walked around the room and watched my trainees take their tests. If it seems like a waste of time, it was, but we weren't allowed to do anything - like study our own off-duty coursework, prepare lessons, etc. - that would distract us and thereby provide trainees an opportunity to cheat on their test.

zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

I may be able to recite the alphabet faster backward than forward. I can say it in under four seconds.

zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

(I know that I could have copied and pasted that over and over again, but my brain insisted on typing it every time.)

zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

. . .

Today's word

xylography /zye-LAH-gruh-fee/ - the art of making engravings on wood especially for printing

Once you know that "xylo" refers to wood, you'll never confuse a glockenspiel for a xylophone again. Probably. 

It makes for a frustrating morning . . .

. . . when you spend three hours on something you thought you were finished, and really end up changing nothing of substance.

Fun stuff.

Busy day

Clean. Meeting. Work on friend's bike, and deliver it. Ride my bike. Help granddaughter and friend decorate cookies, then take both home. Watch movie with wife. Good thing there was some prayer time to start it all!

When you're plain . . .

. . . (at best), and always have been, and always will be, and are lucky enough to have a spouse who thinks that you're "hot"!

Today's word for a familiar thing

The "÷" symbol is called an "obelus," a word which my mind insists should have the alternate pronunciation rather than the preferred one. My mind still stumbles for a moment when I see "obelisk," too.

I am so fortunate

To have a bride who still loves me so deeply, who is excited to see me, who enjoys my company, who shares my life.

I especially really enjoyed your love wave as I was getting in the car this morning.

I love you, darling.

Today's simple, troublesome word

I love the Words at Play blog, and this post in particular for many reasons, not the least of which is that it explicitly provides the strong linguistic tie between the noun "couple" and the verb "copulate." (Of course, the former is a verb, too, as well as now a more general quantitative adjective.)

Why must life be so hard?

The Gambia

What a disconcerting event, which the developed world seems to be largely ignoring because, after all, This Is (only) Africa.

Regarding the word "Republic" in its official name: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Feeling the world's view of me . . .

Today's linguistic concept

I found this article on semantic bleaching fascinating.

Nice post idea . . .

. . . in the Team RWB Dayton group, but . . .

I'm extremely particular about who gets my "why."

Could "connection" . . .

. . . be an idol for me?

I have long wondered . . .

Why didn't they ever host a version of Pop Stars (forerunner of Pop Idol and American Idol) in Zurich, and call it Swiss Idol?

Usually . . .

. . .  early workout days leave me feeling uplifted, energized, and hopeful.

not like this.

Post-swim nutrition

I've always observed that I "eat like a horse" after a swim. But this morning, as I was munching on some granola for my post-second-breakfast snack (maybe I eat like a hobbit?), I thought: "Ah: oats! I really am eating like a horse!"

I'll skip the hay, though.

In the swim, in a panic

I was getting ready to kiss my wife this morning and leave for my swim when I suddenly realized that it was already time for me to be there.

We have two swim times each month: later in the month we swim at 6:30 p.m. on a Saturday, but our earlier in the month weekday swim is 6:10 a.m. I was thinking that I was leaving myself plenty of time, but it suddenly dawned on me that I'd (m)ucked up the time in my head. So I grabbed the kitchen trash and took it out - since the outdoor trash can had already been full when I set it out the night before, because the garbage service switched up the schedule and arrived before I left for work last week, which was when I used to take it to the curb - running to the street and then to the car to drive to the pool. It was a frantic drive, with frequent shouts of "Go! Go!" to the car in front of me as they laconically pulled through a changing light on the wet morning roads. I explained to the guy at the desk that I was with the group that was already in the pool. Fortunately I was already wearing my new suit under my clothes, so I was able to minimize my changing time. I ended up cheating myself out of 200 yards, which I probably couldn't have done anyway since I forgot last night until bedtime that I was swimming this morning, so didn't pre-hydrate; therefore my feet were cramping within the first 200 yards of the swim. Oh, and I didn't take a water bottle with me, either, at least in part because of my frustrated panic as I was leaving the house. And jeez, I hate being late.

On the other hand, I swam fairly well, though only for 700 yards (after adding four lengths at the end) instead of the 900 that the other swimmers got in. On the other hand, my fitness tracker missed at least one length, because it showed me at 575 yards after I'd completed an even number of 25 yard lengths.

January 16th

That hanging lamp is still hideous, too

And our tree is still up, and no decorations are put away, and the weekend didn't really allow time for either. Maybe this is the real reason why we've always had a real tree!

Dear bride, in case you're reading: this isn't a complaint about you, it's an observation about me!

I am no good at this

I don't know

Mathematically challenged

Apparently, "Do I know how to count?" is not one of them: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Quitting Your Job

Simple afternoon

Deflated today by multiple reminders of my abject mediocrity.

I know I shouldn't feel so . . .

so . . .

so . . .

so . . .

Last week's post . . .

. . . which I titled Pessimism? was not reflective of my state of mind. Rather, I'd encountered this quote some time ago - as in, months ago - and intended to share some thoughts on it, but hadn't gotten around to it, and didn't want to lose track of it entirely.

I think the quote represents a thoroughly inaccurate understanding of what love really is, unless the author is referring to romantic love, in which case he has described exactly what it ought to be. The illusion that leads us to "fall in love" with another is supposed to yield to something more realistic, and yet as this disillusion occurs and we begin to know the object of our love more thoroughly, the fervor of our initial romance develops into something more beautiful, committed, and enduring.

This happens as we encounter struggles and conflicts in our relationship, and approaching these with an eye toward the beloved's perspective allows us to work through these in ways that build us up together rather than undermining us.

It's as if God gave me . . .

. . . one day of friends needing me, of feeling that my contributions to others have value greater than my colossal failures.

(and perhaps I screwed that up.)

That's okay. I'd really rather, for my friends' sake, that they not be in a position of needing my support. That means their lives are going better.

(I had been in touch with several friends in one day before this post, btw.)

Geez, I hope I didn't add to their stress

It is sometimes hard to know how to be the best friend. (Of course, I don't mean it's hard to know how to be a best friend, although I have not been anyone's in a very long time - probably not even my wife's. I mean, of course, that it is sometimes hard to know how best to be a friend, which is how I should have put it in the first place if I weren't more interested in creating an annoying parenthetical to explain it.)

Frozen Sugarcreek

From Saturday, 1/7:

There are some blessings

that can be hard to receive in what must be their proper context. When they're no longer a part of your life, the void can be hard to describe, but it can feel so empty. It can be like one of your senses has suddenly stopped working, or the oxygen has been sucked out of the air. The gratitude we should feel over its presence can turn to despair over its absence. There are a lot of blessings that can feel this way.

I find myself feeling a bit morbid this morning. I am so grateful for my bride, a steady blessing along life's road. I know she feels the same way about me. I don't know why I'm thinking about some future day when one of us will have to live without the other, but it has me praying again for a dear friend who buried his wife last year.

Rejecting the world's POV

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking like the world does, about ourselves, our struggles, our nature, what our aspirations and approach to life should be. It's easy to make our goal something other than a holy life in response to God's love and grace and mercy. It's easy, even, to reject that goal as both quaint and unrealistic, and to instead chase some other form of self realization.

First things first.

Our holy seasons should serve to remind us of all God has done for us, and motivate us to do everything else in response to that.

Pessimism?

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion - Miguel de Unamuno, The Tragic Sense of Life

Sometimes.

When I'm this tired

nothing fits

Should get pics of the frozen creek tomorrow

It will be the first time this season that a cold, clear day with snow on the ground has coincided with a weekend.

Failure

So there we were, sitting around the parish office last night after choir rehearsal, having a beer and enjoying each other's company, me already feeling pretty down for no good reason, when the discussion turned to the issue that always makes me want to die.

Success, failure, faith

Today's Jesus Calling reflection touches on a couple of truths upon which I've often remarked. Success and failure in God's eyes are different from how we typically judge them. And this in turn reminds me that too many of us approach our Christianity as if its purpose is to make us self-sufficient, rather than more fully dependent on God.

The phrase feels empty right now

Today's entry from Jesus Calling, a daily devotional given me by a friend for Christmas, also evokes the inscription from the Divine Mercy image.

I can say the words, sure . . . 

Needing a bib

Apparently I dropped a chocolate chip into my lap without noticing, where it melted dark brown spots all over the crotch of my khakis. Was able to wash some of it out in the restroom, and the sport coat covers some what's left, so it isn't so obvious (he lies to himself).

Today's image and songs

As I was praying this morning, I had an image in my mind - pretty sure this was not anything like a vision inspired by the Holy Spirit - of a man falling a great distance from the deck of a large ship in the middle of the ocean. It called to mind the old Styx song Man in the Wilderness. from the album that launched them into the mainstream. Styx memories are always a mixed bag for me, invoking reminders of my sister and my own self-centeredness. I still have to watch out for the latter.

Then finished up my morning routine thinking of See Me, Feel Me.

Feeling adrift and alone

Good thing I know that feelings aren't truth.

An insightful moment

rediscovered as I restore posts . . .

Today's words

oligopsony /ah-luh-GAHP-suh-nee/ - a market situation in which each of a few buyers exerts a disproportionate influence on the market

Occasionally a new word teaches you another one, even when it isn't explained distinctly. I was, of course, familiar with the terms "monopoly" and "oligarchy." The WOTD write-up clarified the relationship between the "-poly" and "-psony" suffixes by describing the "monopsony," so naturally I confirmed the existence of "oligopoly," too.

zeitgeist /TSYTE-gyste/ - (often capitalized Zeitgeist) the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era

I was sure I'd blogged about this word before. Maybe I'd just encountered it but recognized it from context and previous exposure, so didn't write on it. The only real reasons I've included it here are 1) I thought I'd posted about it previously, 2) it's uncommon enough that it might be of value for the reader (whoever you are; won't you say "hi" in a comment if you haven't let me know?), and 3) my mind refuses to be familiar enough with German to pronounce the leading consonant correctly.

Often the last thing I want

is to deny myself. I'd rather indulge myself. This, I think, is our biggest obstacle to living in the light of God's love.

Put to death whatever in your nature is rooted in earth. - Col 3: 5

Lyrics from movies

Perhaps I'm the fool she takes me for
And not anything more. - Lyle Lovett