All things are possible

We had a great discussion the other night at prayer group about the importance of dying to ourselves, and how that might apply to our lives in a society in which few of us seem to be called to martyrdom for our faith. One of us observed that we often approach life with our expectations and aspirations firmly fixed before us: what our careers will look like, what activities we'll engage in, how our families will be. Then life happens in ways that can be very different from our hopes and dreams for ourselves and our loved ones. Letting go of our preconceptions so that our actual lives don't disappoint us and fill us with despair can be a great challenge.

God has two chief aspirations for us, from which all of His other dreams for us take root: He wants us to know and love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as our self. It seems that many of our original expectations and aspirations turn out not to be the best means for those two things to occur in our lives. Until our faith in God is strong enough for us to trust that our real life is more conducive to God's plan for us than our preconceived one was, our resentment can interfere with living in God's joyful love.

I often feel like the father in Mark 9:24, to whom Jesus said that all things are possible to those who believe. "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." I found myself considering this today as I read a shared FB post from a friend, about a pastor who was healed as he preached about healing. Like my friend, I believe that God heals. (Well, when I manage to believe in God, which by His grace is actually most of the time.) I find it far harder, though, to believe that God is going to heal me or my loved ones. Perhaps it is because I have prayed for my daughters for so very long for healing for their respective pancreases. Or maybe it's because of my own unanswered prayers for healing of my body and mind. For the latter, I should be more cognizant that God has delivered me from all traces of my most severe and damaging brokenness, and allowed me to participate very actively in the process while also allowing me to help others who had similar struggles.

But maybe my faith struggles are from nothing more than my own sophistication and embracing of this age's rationalism. In any case, I struggle to have a simple faith that truly trusts in God to provide for my every need and those of my loved ones.

And so I find myself praying a variant of this as I reflect on the prayer associated with the Divine Mercy image: Jesus, I trust in You. Help my lack of trust in You.