Thou knowest me right well;
my frame was not hidden from thee,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately wrought in the depths of the earth.
Thy eyes beheld my unformed substance;
in thy book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. - Ps 139, 14b-16
As I struggle to embrace the life that is mine, to rejoice in it and celebrate it in the context of God's love for me, it is good for me to remember that - just as I professed last week in my time of uncertainty about my employment - God is never caught unaware by a single circumstance in my life or a single thought that I have. It isn't that I am therefore robbed of my will, but that God has seen the choices I will make, and has the way of my eternal life in him mapped out for my choosing. Whatever else life may bring, this is God's ultimate plan for me, and he has provided for its fulfillment.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! - Ps 139, 23-24
All that remains is for me to entrust myself to his scrutiny and providential plan rather than rebel against his love and care in my vain selfishness.
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