So a couple weeks before Christmas, my wife attempted to communicate with our daughters a query into whether it was their desire to exchange Christmas gifts with us. I learned of this by way of my middle daughter, who didn't show me the text but shared the giIst of it with me. As I have come to expect, it was communicated without any sense of how the words might appear to the recipient, and conveyed a very different message from what (I hope and trust) she intended.
Perhaps I should have done a better job of extending my damage control efforts to our other daughters, who did not raise the issue with me, but I wasn't really sure how to broach the subject with them. I suppose I could have explained to them how I became privy to message contents that were not addressed to me, and suggested that what was meant to be conveyed was likely something very different from the message they received. In the process, should I have also pointed out their mother's obvious inability to couch her communication in terms that do not give offense?
Having not figured out how to handle that, how do I now deal with the difficult combination of very hurt feelings and resentment I'm now experiencing?
I feel hopeless.
(So I guess maybe I am sure, after all, how I feel.)
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