. . . yea, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God. - Ps 84: 2 (RSV)
Without academic study on the matter, I tend to side with those who believe this psalm is post-Davidic, and that its references to God's house were originally to the temple. A Christian's longing is for the eternal home in heaven, but this psalm probably originally referred to the temple.
On my unusual Saturday night, in which I thought there might be a chance that I was dying, this verse was true for me as I trusted in God's care. I think the peacefulness I felt about things was rooted in my long desire to go to the place He has prepared for me, even though I was prepared to wake someone to take me to the hospital if I thought I needed to go. In this moment, it was easy to want to live in God's will, to love according to His plan for me, to set aside both unclean thoughts and misconceptions about the nature of my being.
Such things are more challenging when I believe I'm probably in the 18th mile of this marathon (not that I know about this flawed analogy firsthand) rather than in the last half mile. You see, there is still a part of me that longs wrongly, as well, to veer off and go some other way than the course that is mine to run, or to just skip to the end, bypassing the anticipated grueling miles ahead.
I probably need prayer - both yours, dear reader, and my own time with the One who loves me most - more in daily living than I will need them in my time of dying . . . at least, if I manage to walk in God's grace between now and then, I am hopeful that might be the case. Meanwhile, please pray that I will long for God's presence in the here and now rather than desiring to rush into eternity.
No comments:
Post a Comment