What it's really like for me

I keep referring back to Bob Bennett's haunting song - from the poignant Songs from Bright Avenue album - My Secret Heart. I think the lyric would fit me better if it went something like this:

Behind the easy laughter is a man who is afraid
He will never become the obedient son that God has made

Okay, it's awkward and not completely theologically accurate. But you get the point.