(S)eeking the Kingdom first means that we want to receive all of the good things the Father has in store for us. We do not want one good thing apart from knowing His heart for us, and we are not content with anything less than His will. St. Augustine said, "As for our saying: Your kingdom come, it will surely come whether we will it or not. But we are stirring up our desires for the kingdom so that it can come to us." - Neal Lozano, Abba's Heart
I find myself in a very different place this Lent from past years. For nearly as long as I have been trying to walk with the Lord, Lent has been a season of turning away from a particular sin to which I have been bound, but I have since been set free from that in a way that reflects the truth that Neal has shared in his older book, Unbound: A Practical Guide to Deliverance. It is true that I still have an area of weakness where I was formerly in bondage. But instead of being consumed by it, I have found myself reflecting on the Father's love in the face of it, and the impure desire is swamped by the certainty that God has a better plan for me. As it applies to Lent: in the past I practically defined the "success" of "my Lenten efforts" by how well I gutted out this one area of temptation. Since I'm finally dealing with that by Grace rather than by sheer willpower, the next thing is now more present to me. I myself have often observed that God often returns us to the same lesson until we learn it, for it's often impossible to move on to the next one until then. There's a reason we must learn to add before we multiply.
That former area of bondage had a payoff of which I wasn't aware. I could attribute any unhappiness in my life to my struggle - and especially my failure - in that area. I know that sin distorts our perspective, and so I have basically placed most blame for any dissatisfaction with my life on that. For decades. Now, when I am unhappy or dissatisfied with my life, I have to look for another reason. Perhaps there could be vestiges of the same underlying attitude that are now contributing to my ennui, but maybe there's something else, too. Perhaps I'm not primarily interested in loving as the Father loves me, but am disproportionately concerned with how I wish my life were different from how it is.
I need to desire God's kingdom first, and trust that all other things will be added besides (Mt. 6:33). While I am growing more conscious of the Father's deep, sustaining, joyful love for me, I am struggling to trust in His provision for my own joy, in an area that most people would agree is very important.
Jesus' instruction to seek the Kingdom and His righteousness (Mt 6:25-33) is nothing less than an invitation to pursue and experience heaven while living on earth. Choosing the kingdom as life's first priority does not replace our need for food, shelter or clothing; it simply puts everything else in its proper place. When we put those things above our need for God's reign, we invite disorder into our thoughts, especially through anxiety. When we seek the Kingdom first, we find the goodness of God through faith, and we actively pursue His will. When we refuse to give worry a place in us and surrender to the Father through prayer, self-giving and loving relationships, we honor Him as the source of all that is good. - ibid.
The same is true for non-physical needs. God, I'm going to have to trust you to get me there.
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