As I take the initial step along the next part of the path to emotional wholeness, I find myself considering a thought that may be dangerous for me, yet may be very important in the bigger scheme of things, and which I'll definitely be discussing with my new counselor:
Aren't there some things that a person can do, after which they should never find it too easy to live with themselves?
I mean, let's suppose a person kills an innocent person. Not necessarily murder, maybe a tragic accident or mistake. If that event fades too far into the fabric of the rest of their life, and becomes just another part of who they are but doesn't really continue to affect them on a regular basis, what does that say about how seriously they really take the value of life?
The way I've couched this completely theoretical example, this obviously isn't what I deal with, and I'm obviously not inclined to share my actual situation here. My former therapists certainly stressed that I should never consider it food for public consumption. But they also indicated it wouldn't always consume me, and yet it seems to.
But isn't it better for our society that some actions always carry such a heavy burden? Doesn't that serve as a better deterrent for others? How could it be better for society if the gift of forgiveness also carried away most of the emotional aftermath?
It seems to me that some stigmas exist for good reason.
And yet I am assured by the people who love me that I'm a good person and shouldn't be so hard on myself. How do I resolve these conflicting truths?
It seems to me that my counselor is going to earn his money.
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