Pensive

Hello, darkness, my old friend.
I've come to talk with you again
because a vision, softly creeping
left its seeds while I was sleeping,
and the vision that was planted in my brain
still remains within the sound of silence.
                                  - Paul Simon

I didn't exactly have a disturbing dream, but have still awakened in a bit of a melancholy mood this morning, and am not quite sure why.  It isn't from lack of sleep, that's certain.  And it isn't as if I haven't had the most wonderful weekend, so far.  The visit with Aunt Helen has been great; she's such a treasure.  It's as if she has taken up the responsibility for being mom's representative in my life, and I love her all the more for it.  And it was also wonderful to see old parishioners Joe and Frans yesterday, for the first time in ten years.  I can't believe their daughter has finished college and their twin boys are now done with high school.  What a great bunch of kids they have.

Checked Facebook this morning, and saw my young cousin's plea for her only sister's company.  I find I have no ready words of consolation or encouragement to offer her.  We're strangers, practically, and whatever pain she's in clearly requires more than a trite assurance that all will be well.  Instead I find myself momentarily, stupidly jealous that she has a sister to whom she can call out and hear back from.  I need to put that aside; she's clearly in real pain, and at the least I need to offer up a heartfelt prayer for her unknown circumstances.

I have a choice of opportunities to serve this morning.  I find myself evaluating them chiefly in terms of which will fill up more of my day, but it isn't as if I have reason to expect this day to pose any sort of special challenge.  I suppose that I'm uniquely placed to minister in music, and will probably go to our parish Mass this morning as there are plenty of folks who can nail OSB to roof joists at the Habitat house build.  It will give me a chance to pray in advance for Nic and his unit prior to their deployment later in the year, and to offer a prayer of thanksgiving and of repose for those who have given their lives for our freedom.

Then I suppose I'll see what the remains of the day brings.  For now: Lord, you've so blessed me.  Help me to not focus so much on what's going on within me, which inevitably takes my attention off of you.