Feeling hopeless again. And then not.

You know, I'm not really all that guarded. You just don't care enough to read my expressed thoughts, or to set aside your vapid entertainment to have a real, human connection. No wonder I so often feel as if I'm alone in the world.

I wrote the previous paragraph after coming in from mowing on a humid night to find a detestable program on the television. I retreated upstairs to cool down and resigned myself to soon calling it an early night.

Shortly thereafter, I was pleasantly surprised when she came upstairs and asked if I wanted to play what has become our nightly game.

I'm not sure whether this bodes well for the future or if it's just a matter of there only being one thing on that catches her interest at present. But in either case, it is also a case study for me of the importance of not rushing into snap judgments and not assuming the worst. There are indeed things in our relationship which will be impossible to change, but I need to quit doubting that I can trust God to use our marriage to make me into the person he dreams for me to be.