In addition to my preference for writing, which I will freely grant is partly because it gives me a chance to keep from being a clumsy oaf with regard to the effect that the expression of my own feelings is likely to have on the recipient, there is an element of emotional safety that the dialogue process is supposed to provide for us.
For instance - and I mention this strictly as example; I am not at all still dwelling on this moment - on Sunday I needed for my bride to understand that I was struggling. Yet because I had to express that in the context of the plans she was trying to make, my feelings were received as an impediment to her desire to do something nice for me rather than as an indication of my need for support. Therefore, the response I received wasn't support and love, but frustration and irritation.
This whole incident wasn't affirming for either one of us. It slapped her down in her well-intended and loving initiative as she tried to do something nice for me, and reinforced once more my long-standing tendency to guard my heart and mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment