I'm reading about my teammates who completed the IMOH race yesterday in Delaware, OH, and I am so happy for each of them. What an accomplishment.
But also: my medical limitations hurt this morning. Must remember what I am about.
Monday, July 31, 2017
Today's word
inhere /in-HEER/ - to be inherent : to be a fixed element or attribute
This could be a useful verb to have in the vocabulary.
Almost two weeks off
Had a nice bike ride yesterday afternoon. First workout of any kind since Maryland, so 12 days off. Feels like it, too. Might have finished stronger if I'd been able to nourish, but that Clif Bar was almost three months past expiration and inedible. But I slept without any cramps last night, which was a pleasant surprise. I need to get a run and a swim in soon.
Friday, July 28, 2017
Nobody
And I mean nobody, wants to know what has been on my mind of late.
Going to need to practice some thought-stopping techniques.
Going to need to practice some thought-stopping techniques.
Why I'm cock obsessed, part 3
My stepfather, about whom I am not going to write anymore right now. I've previously written at length here and here (both in the context of receiving Unbound ministry, but I've not peeled back the layers from Part 1 and Part 2 of this in that prayer approach as of yet), and originally here, though if you want to think well of me you might not want to read that last one or follow all of its links.
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Why I'm cock obsessed, part 2
Experiments the summer he died
I won't say with whom. I was fourteen when we played strip poker in the dark, when we were supposed to be sleeping. When we were naked, we couldn't help but notice that our penises got hard. We proceeded to rub our erect cocks together until one of us had "wet," and we were never sure which of us had. Their older sister accused us of "getting queer with each other," and we didn't know what that meant, either. This repeated each night until the call came, and Mom told us that Dad had fallen grievously ill and might not make it. I knew that my desperate prayers for him, cast repeatedly against the impossibly starry Kansas sky, would be futile. God only answers the prayers of the righteous, I knew by then, almost as well as I knew I'd sinned greatly, without understanding its nature. I didn't know, wouldn't be told until we'd traveled back home, that he was already dead. I wouldn't know for another year that his death was self inflicted, or that he wasn't my biological father. My guilt was not assuaged by any of these pieces of knowledge. Whatever other details were involved, I knew he'd died because of my sin.
I won't say with whom. I was fourteen when we played strip poker in the dark, when we were supposed to be sleeping. When we were naked, we couldn't help but notice that our penises got hard. We proceeded to rub our erect cocks together until one of us had "wet," and we were never sure which of us had. Their older sister accused us of "getting queer with each other," and we didn't know what that meant, either. This repeated each night until the call came, and Mom told us that Dad had fallen grievously ill and might not make it. I knew that my desperate prayers for him, cast repeatedly against the impossibly starry Kansas sky, would be futile. God only answers the prayers of the righteous, I knew by then, almost as well as I knew I'd sinned greatly, without understanding its nature. I didn't know, wouldn't be told until we'd traveled back home, that he was already dead. I wouldn't know for another year that his death was self inflicted, or that he wasn't my biological father. My guilt was not assuaged by any of these pieces of knowledge. Whatever other details were involved, I knew he'd died because of my sin.
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