It was an especially nice Christmas. I don't usually have the entire week off of work, but since the company announced a plant shutdown for the week, I made the best of it. Fortunately I had vacation available, and though I was planning to carry those days forward into next year, the time off was certainly no disappointment.
Tuesday night our oldest two grandsons slept over. They're each spending the remainder of the holidays with their respective "other parents," and we were beginning to think we wouldn't see them at all during the season. What a pleasant surprise. We braved the icy roads so they could visit with their new cousin for the first time, and we had a hoot playing with their new Nerf guns. On Christmas Day, the rest of the family came over for dinner. It was an unexpected blessing, as our youngest and oldest daughters hadn't been together with each other since, well, last Christmas.
After everyone left on Christmas night, mrs tg was ready to go visit with a friend. Having gotten about 5 hours of sleep between the midnight and Christmas morning Masses, I was more interested in a little quiet prayer time and an early retirement to bed. But when the phone rang with a very nice call from our goddaughter's family, I was elated to put my plans on hold. It was a wonderful telephonic reunion.
The quiet time with the Lord, praying by the light of the Christmas tree, was the perfect nightcap. And mrs tg received a treat when she got home and found her side of the bed toasty, as I (uncharacteristically) thought to heat her foot warmer and put it between the sheets before I settled in.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Finally preparing the way
One of my favorite places to visit is the Abbey of Gethsemani near Bardstown, KY. It was the first Trappist monastery in the nation, and the one to which all others in the U.S. trace their lineage. I love the cycle of prayer, and the extended periods of silence available to the retreatant there. But because I usually get too wrapped up in "daily life," it usually takes me most of a day to settle my spirit down and really experience the quiet peace of my surroundings.
Likewise, one of my favorite Advent traditions is to light our wreath early in the morning and pray the Office of Readings by its light. This simple, quiet practice reminds me of my retreats among the Trappists. However, this Advent has so atypical! It was the middle of the second week before we were able dig out our wreath and buy new candles. And just like my retreats at the abbey, it has taken some time to encounter a sense of the Lord's presence in this morning prayer time.
The thing is, our spirituality and our lives should not focus too much on our feelings. I know that when I pray, I meet the Lord, whether I feel I have or not. And when I persevere in prayer despite whatever my feelings may be, I will grow in the Lord. That doesn't happen by my efforts, but by God's grace. Still, like most gifts, it must be opened to make a difference in my life.
Likewise, one of my favorite Advent traditions is to light our wreath early in the morning and pray the Office of Readings by its light. This simple, quiet practice reminds me of my retreats among the Trappists. However, this Advent has so atypical! It was the middle of the second week before we were able dig out our wreath and buy new candles. And just like my retreats at the abbey, it has taken some time to encounter a sense of the Lord's presence in this morning prayer time.
The thing is, our spirituality and our lives should not focus too much on our feelings. I know that when I pray, I meet the Lord, whether I feel I have or not. And when I persevere in prayer despite whatever my feelings may be, I will grow in the Lord. That doesn't happen by my efforts, but by God's grace. Still, like most gifts, it must be opened to make a difference in my life.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Another wonderful weekend
Saturday we hosted our Marriage Encounter circle's family Christmas party. What a great time. I was so glad mrs tg felt up to keeping this commitment; the group would have understood had she opted out, but it was good for us to get together with them. We ended up with about 35 people here.
The group traditionally holds a Christmas pageant during the party, with the adults reading the various parts, the children dressing up, and everybody singing the hymns. Due to the dearth of girls in attendance, our 3-year-old granddaughter ended up portraying Mary. She had a blast! She loves to dress up, and we had to be patient for her to be ready to remove her costume afterward. Most everyone left soon thereafter, but a few of us braved the chilly night air to go caroling outside some of our neighbors' houses. What a great evening!
Sunday, Jubilee was at one of the parishes in the northern reaches of archdiocese for an Advent Evensong program. It was a beautiful, newly expanded facility. As we worked through our positioning beforehand, we encountered a serious feedback problem due to the placement of one speaker in their sound system. Fortunately, we were finally able to get the sound where we wanted it, augmenting the natural acoustics with one mic that pulled double duty for soloists. I served as lay presider for the service, which provided a rare opportunity to listen to the group sing. How uplifting! The parish immediately tried to get us for The Way of The Cross for this coming Lent, suggesting that their usual (if non-traditional) Tuesday stations wouldn't conflict with any of our existing Friday and Sunday commitments. The thing is, we're all volunteers with other obligations, some in full-time or other volunteer music ministry, many of us in day jobs, not to mention our primary ministry: our families. As much as we'd love to go back to minister to this remote part of the archdiocese, we're fully booked for Lent, 2009. Looks as if we may have our first 2010 gig lined up already, though!
The group traditionally holds a Christmas pageant during the party, with the adults reading the various parts, the children dressing up, and everybody singing the hymns. Due to the dearth of girls in attendance, our 3-year-old granddaughter ended up portraying Mary. She had a blast! She loves to dress up, and we had to be patient for her to be ready to remove her costume afterward. Most everyone left soon thereafter, but a few of us braved the chilly night air to go caroling outside some of our neighbors' houses. What a great evening!
Sunday, Jubilee was at one of the parishes in the northern reaches of archdiocese for an Advent Evensong program. It was a beautiful, newly expanded facility. As we worked through our positioning beforehand, we encountered a serious feedback problem due to the placement of one speaker in their sound system. Fortunately, we were finally able to get the sound where we wanted it, augmenting the natural acoustics with one mic that pulled double duty for soloists. I served as lay presider for the service, which provided a rare opportunity to listen to the group sing. How uplifting! The parish immediately tried to get us for The Way of The Cross for this coming Lent, suggesting that their usual (if non-traditional) Tuesday stations wouldn't conflict with any of our existing Friday and Sunday commitments. The thing is, we're all volunteers with other obligations, some in full-time or other volunteer music ministry, many of us in day jobs, not to mention our primary ministry: our families. As much as we'd love to go back to minister to this remote part of the archdiocese, we're fully booked for Lent, 2009. Looks as if we may have our first 2010 gig lined up already, though!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
What a week . . .
I think the only way to do last week justice is to blog on it as if in real time. So these entries will reflect the stress, frustration, and blessings of last week as if they were happening currently. In fact, since I can set the publication date and time of each post, they'll appear as if I entered them as they were happening. So before this one, the last entry that I made at the posted time was "At peace." Due to their length, you may have to pull down the archive at left, starting with November.
On the off chance someone is reading this who was involved in these events, know that my love for you exceeds whatever other feelings are expressed below.
On the off chance someone is reading this who was involved in these events, know that my love for you exceeds whatever other feelings are expressed below.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Home at last
Sure enough, about 9:30 a.m. my wife's cell phone rings. She delivers the message just as I suggested. We call back to remind them that the van seats will slide forward to make more room for the baggage. She soon calls back to let us know they've gotten it packed up and they're on the way out.
We stop by dad's before leaving. We know there's more lunchmeat and rolls there than he'll be able to eat before they go bad, so pack some for our lunch, and then say goodbye again. The drive back is an adventure. Snow starts around Cumberland; at Washington, PA traffic is at a standstill on I79. We exit the interstate to US40, to find the going only slightly faster, but work our way down the icy hill without sliding off the side of the road, then make our way back to I70. We don't know for sure that oldest daughter has made it through okay, as we bypassed the cause of the backup, and for some reason they're ignoring their phones. Is it just me, or is that rude of them when they're driving our van?
We hit another very scary spot heading into Wheeling, WV, 10 mph max downhill on I70, with a tendency to slide down the banked curves, but it was mostly smooth driving thereafter, if a little slower than usual.
Once back home, we finally reach oldest daughter to let her know we're getting the van, then I go get Col Potter. We meet back up at youngest daughter's place and order pizza. She and the baby couldn't travel yet to attend the funeral, and her other kids are thrilled to see us. We get to hold little Emma Faith for the first time, going home to collapse into bed around 11.
Wait a sec.
It's before midnight!! Woo-hoo!!!
I've been this glad to be home before. Once. But I'm really glad to be here now.
Rest in peace, mom. Pray for us.
We stop by dad's before leaving. We know there's more lunchmeat and rolls there than he'll be able to eat before they go bad, so pack some for our lunch, and then say goodbye again. The drive back is an adventure. Snow starts around Cumberland; at Washington, PA traffic is at a standstill on I79. We exit the interstate to US40, to find the going only slightly faster, but work our way down the icy hill without sliding off the side of the road, then make our way back to I70. We don't know for sure that oldest daughter has made it through okay, as we bypassed the cause of the backup, and for some reason they're ignoring their phones. Is it just me, or is that rude of them when they're driving our van?
We hit another very scary spot heading into Wheeling, WV, 10 mph max downhill on I70, with a tendency to slide down the banked curves, but it was mostly smooth driving thereafter, if a little slower than usual.
Once back home, we finally reach oldest daughter to let her know we're getting the van, then I go get Col Potter. We meet back up at youngest daughter's place and order pizza. She and the baby couldn't travel yet to attend the funeral, and her other kids are thrilled to see us. We get to hold little Emma Faith for the first time, going home to collapse into bed around 11.
Wait a sec.
It's before midnight!! Woo-hoo!!!
I've been this glad to be home before. Once. But I'm really glad to be here now.
Rest in peace, mom. Pray for us.
Discharged car and grandson, family visits, late logistics
This (well, yesterday, now) morning I go out for milk, and decide to get some yogurt for the trip home tomorrow, too. Daughter calls for a ride from hospital to hotel, as grandson is being discharged. I call the shop; they've just gotten the part and will have my car ready by the time I can get there. Mrs tg isn't dressed yet, so I wait for her. We go get my car, which is now running fine, and mrs tg drives her sister's car back to the house so she can have it back. Meanwhile I head to hospital, where we wait 20+ minutes for a wheelchair to bring grandson down to car. Then to pharmacy, where grandson and I again play "I Spy" for what seems like an hour. After dropping them at the hotel, I head to dad's house to give him an update. I think I might take a few minutes to decompress there, but mrs tg's oldest brother and his family are there, too, so this is unlikely to be a restful atmosphere. I drive back to sister-in-law's place, am getting a bite to eat when mrs tg announces she's ready for us to head back to dad's.
I very quietly turn and walk up the stairs, enter the guest bedroom where we're staying, and lie down across the bed. I really need a few minutes respite at this point. Mrs tg comes in to ask what's wrong, and I know I'd have a hard time explaining, so I don't really try. I understand she's been patiently waiting there for hours while I drove between and waited outside of the repair shop, the hospital, the pharmacy, the hotel, her dad's house, and her sister's house. At this precise moment, I need to catch my emotional breath. I ask her for a few minutes, after which I go back downstairs and ask if she's ready to leave.
Last night her sister timidly asked if we could be on our own tonight so she could have dinner with her sons & their girlfriends, and of course we don't mind in the least. We'd gotten an e-mail from one of my cousins suggesting we get together, and mrs tg and I agreed it would provide a good chance to get out of her sister's way if we visited him and his wife. But after we're at her dad's with family for a while, she lets me know she'd really rather not leave. She rarely sees her oldest brother, who lives around San Jose, or her aunt and uncle from Washington. We agree it will just be me visiting my cousin, and I head up to his house for a few hours. What a nice, relaxing visit, after which I go back to pick up wife and middle daughter, bid everyone farewell, and head back to sister-in-law's house. Except first there's a side trip to the hotel (opposite direction) because oldest daughter left something behind.
Finally arriving at wife's sister's place, I realize as we walk in front door that I've made a terrible logistical oversight. Middle daughter rode to MD with oldest daughter's family in our van, but is riding home with us. This means my bike, which rode in my back seat on the drive here, must go into trunk for the trip home, which in turn means no room for suitcases. All of this I knew already, but finally realize that there's no way for us to meet oldest daughter to transfer stuff into the van in the morning, because we won't all fit with all this stuff! So another round trip to the hotel is needed to put our bags in the back of the van. Fortunately, I realize that if I make the drive tonight I can sleep in tomorrow morning. I'll finally get to collapse in bed around 2 a.m., after our latest night yet. At least I won't have to be up in the morning before they leave; they're planning a 7 a.m. departure. I tell mrs tg that when (not if; I know it like I know the sun will rise) oldest daughter calls to say they can't get everything in, to tell them they have a choice: they can take the bags or they can take her sister.
I very quietly turn and walk up the stairs, enter the guest bedroom where we're staying, and lie down across the bed. I really need a few minutes respite at this point. Mrs tg comes in to ask what's wrong, and I know I'd have a hard time explaining, so I don't really try. I understand she's been patiently waiting there for hours while I drove between and waited outside of the repair shop, the hospital, the pharmacy, the hotel, her dad's house, and her sister's house. At this precise moment, I need to catch my emotional breath. I ask her for a few minutes, after which I go back downstairs and ask if she's ready to leave.
Last night her sister timidly asked if we could be on our own tonight so she could have dinner with her sons & their girlfriends, and of course we don't mind in the least. We'd gotten an e-mail from one of my cousins suggesting we get together, and mrs tg and I agreed it would provide a good chance to get out of her sister's way if we visited him and his wife. But after we're at her dad's with family for a while, she lets me know she'd really rather not leave. She rarely sees her oldest brother, who lives around San Jose, or her aunt and uncle from Washington. We agree it will just be me visiting my cousin, and I head up to his house for a few hours. What a nice, relaxing visit, after which I go back to pick up wife and middle daughter, bid everyone farewell, and head back to sister-in-law's house. Except first there's a side trip to the hotel (opposite direction) because oldest daughter left something behind.
Finally arriving at wife's sister's place, I realize as we walk in front door that I've made a terrible logistical oversight. Middle daughter rode to MD with oldest daughter's family in our van, but is riding home with us. This means my bike, which rode in my back seat on the drive here, must go into trunk for the trip home, which in turn means no room for suitcases. All of this I knew already, but finally realize that there's no way for us to meet oldest daughter to transfer stuff into the van in the morning, because we won't all fit with all this stuff! So another round trip to the hotel is needed to put our bags in the back of the van. Fortunately, I realize that if I make the drive tonight I can sleep in tomorrow morning. I'll finally get to collapse in bed around 2 a.m., after our latest night yet. At least I won't have to be up in the morning before they leave; they're planning a 7 a.m. departure. I tell mrs tg that when (not if; I know it like I know the sun will rise) oldest daughter calls to say they can't get everything in, to tell them they have a choice: they can take the bags or they can take her sister.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Appendectomy, funeral, cell phone, Madden, milk
Another middle-of-the-night call informs us grandson will indeed have morning surgery. Sister-in-law and her husband can get by with one car for the day, so graciously loan us their other. I drop mine off with wife following (possibly the world's worst follower; she's afraid to stay close, and there's traffic). We then go by hospital (again, along the way) for her to check on daughter (shaky, after all night there and mostly awake, and son in surgery), then go pick up programs. Funeral is nicely attended. Wife loses cell phone at church. (No, I'm not making all of this up. This is really how our week has been.) After the service at the gravesite, a brother-in-law has a dead battery. Fortunately another brother-in-law has a power jumper, as my cables are in the trunk of my car, in the shop. After dropping wife off at luncheon at parish hall, I go back to dad's house, where I saw her phone on the table earlier. It isn't there. Fortunately when I get back to the hall and check with the pastor, he tells me that someone has found it and turned it in at the parish center; we're even more grateful a little while later, when the pastor brings it over to us, as someone has taken the trouble to deliver it. I check in with the automotive shop again, and find that indeed I need the part I'd taken a pass on the previous day. It will still take a day to get it in. ** Sigh **.
We head to the hospital to check in on grandson. He's sleeping. His great-grandpa and one of his great aunts also drop in on us while we're there, and we leave together to head to dad's house, where everyone is gathering. Continued eating and drinking and visiting ensue. There are a couple bags of lumpia in the freezer, which mrs tg's sister-in-law (oldest brother's wife, from the PI) has sent previously but no one has had time to make during mom's illness. Youngest brother starts frying them, but now sister-in-law who made them in the first place arrives to take over.
I'm enjoying all the activity, yet also maintain an emotional distance. There is one family member who has never forgiven me for a past offense. Really, I'm on her side about the whole thing; the rest of the family has been exceedingly gracious to me, and I really don't deserve it (but then, that's what grace is). But this has caused a rift between them all for which I alone seem to understand that I am responsible; I'm grateful to see this starting to heal, and if that means I have to feel a bit of the isolation I deserve, I will bear it in silence. This day isn't about me, and I know the rest will make up for it with their love and acceptance.
About 7 p.m. I head back to the hospital to stay with grandson for a few hours, until around 10. Mom has only had 2 hours sleep in the last day, so will nap before coming back. Grandson and I play an old Madden (my first time) and some basketball on the game console they've wheeled into his room. He kicks my tail. It's probably the high point of the trip. About 9:45 daughter calls, asks if she can take a bath before coming back; I'm sure she doesn't plan on falling asleep in tub, but she does anyway, getting back to room about 11:30. I'm supposed to get milk on the way home. All grocery stores along the way are closed. I get to the last one at 12:03, but they closed at midnight. I bang my head against the door frame, just once, and head home to sister-in-law's house. She and her husband have been so gracious. Another late night; I've lost track of how many in a row.
We head to the hospital to check in on grandson. He's sleeping. His great-grandpa and one of his great aunts also drop in on us while we're there, and we leave together to head to dad's house, where everyone is gathering. Continued eating and drinking and visiting ensue. There are a couple bags of lumpia in the freezer, which mrs tg's sister-in-law (oldest brother's wife, from the PI) has sent previously but no one has had time to make during mom's illness. Youngest brother starts frying them, but now sister-in-law who made them in the first place arrives to take over.
I'm enjoying all the activity, yet also maintain an emotional distance. There is one family member who has never forgiven me for a past offense. Really, I'm on her side about the whole thing; the rest of the family has been exceedingly gracious to me, and I really don't deserve it (but then, that's what grace is). But this has caused a rift between them all for which I alone seem to understand that I am responsible; I'm grateful to see this starting to heal, and if that means I have to feel a bit of the isolation I deserve, I will bear it in silence. This day isn't about me, and I know the rest will make up for it with their love and acceptance.
About 7 p.m. I head back to the hospital to stay with grandson for a few hours, until around 10. Mom has only had 2 hours sleep in the last day, so will nap before coming back. Grandson and I play an old Madden (my first time) and some basketball on the game console they've wheeled into his room. He kicks my tail. It's probably the high point of the trip. About 9:45 daughter calls, asks if she can take a bath before coming back; I'm sure she doesn't plan on falling asleep in tub, but she does anyway, getting back to room about 11:30. I'm supposed to get milk on the way home. All grocery stores along the way are closed. I get to the last one at 12:03, but they closed at midnight. I bang my head against the door frame, just once, and head home to sister-in-law's house. She and her husband have been so gracious. Another late night; I've lost track of how many in a row.
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