Too much on my plate

I'm looking forward to two upcoming events. On August 1st I'll be participating in a memorial golf outing for the son of our very dear friends. Jeff passed away several years ago, leaving behind a young son. He was also my friend, as well as our friends' son; I was certainly closer to his age. Like most left behind after a suicide, I agonized over what I might have done to intervene in his life. Of course, I understand I was not responsible for his death. Jeff enjoyed sports, and I golfed with him, and his dad and his brothers, on a couple of occasions. Now his family organizes a golf outing each year around his birthday. Proceeds go to his son's education fund.

Next up after that will be the Cheat Mountain Challenge, a 108-mile bike ride in West Virginia that finishes with an ascent of Snowshoe, on August 15. A group of my cycling friends are doing this ride, and it fits right in with my long-term goal of riding a century in every state. It should be a gorgeous and challenging ride.

Here's why those two things, between them, represent too much commitment:

• I haven't swung a golf club yet this year.
• I haven't ridden my bike further than a metric century (100km, or 62 miles), and that was in early June.
  
• There's rain in the forecast for four of the next five days

With only ten days to get ready to keep from completely embarrassing myself on the golf course (best ball, fortunately, but I'd still like to contribute), followed by two weeks to keep from killing myself riding up a mountain, I sure could use a break in the weather!

Emotional rollercoaster

Last night I was reflecting on the gospel passage (Lk 15, 4-6) about the shepherd who leaves the 99 in the flock to chase after the one stray, and the joy that results when he is found.

Our former son-in-law, who asked me to sponsor him in the RCIA process in '06, soon thereafter divorced our daughter. Since a brief attempt at reconciling that made clear he hadn't dealt with his underlying issues, he hadn't been in contact with any of us in over a year. Even aside from his relationship with our daughter, we've missed him. He was part of our family, we've hurt deeply over his absence. Suddenly, he and our daughter are on friendly terms again, and he is back in our lives. What a joy!

Today we've learned that our youngest son-in-law is likely joining the Army. It's a great decision for him and his young family. Though I never mentioned it to them, I've always considered military service the most likely way for him to provide them with financial security and stability. Still, the thought of our three youngest grandchildren moving away saddens us greatly. We know that this is just a transition, that they will still be an important part of our lives, but being distant grandparents for the first time is definitely going to take some getting used to.

Sometimes you can go home again

A wonderful week in MD. Our office was closed last week, so it was a great opportunity for us get away for a week. I decided not to mess with taking my bike, so got up early on Sunday morning for a short ride (20 miles or so), after which we got on the road. I was surprised at the traffic volume, but it mostly moved pretty well.

The first couple of days were mostly decompression. Visited with mrs tg's dad and some friends in the neighborhood. Went to visit her mom's grave, then my dad's, which is an interesting and potentially expensive story.

Took my running shoes, and ran on alternate days (first time this year; man did my legs hurt for the first few days!). Wednesday, went to an afternoon game at OP@CY; the O's blew a 4-run lead in the 9th to lose in extra innings. This team will be good if their young arms develop as hoped. In the evening, stopped for excellent crabcakes at the local seafood restaurant.

Thursday, helped get the yard ready for a party on Friday. My band mates from high school & college were coming over. The last time we were all together was probably my wedding! Played guitars, grilled out, swam in the pool, had a great view of the community fireworks from the driveway. What a grand day!

Saturday, my cousin had a get-together at his place. I met my new baby cousin, and spent a fabulous afternoon and evening with my side of the family. Another wonderful day!

Sunday, great weather and smooth traffic for the drive home.

Dad's grave site

First of all, I was sure I must've blogged about some of this background info before, but can't find it to link to it.

"Dad" is a more complicated word for me than for most. When I refer to dad, I'm almost always referring to my adoptive father, who married my mom when I was about 3, I think, as opposed to my biological father - whom I've never met - or stepfather.

Anyway, dad was a tortured man, an alcoholic whose glory days of high school and semi-pro athletics were past, and whose adopted son was never going to be the athlete he had been. When he took his own life when I was 14, in some ways he did me a favor. I no longer had a dad who treated me with disdain. Mom went on to get involved with my stepfather a couple years later, who had some positive and terribly negative influence on my life, and I inevitably grew up despite all that, with the warped sense of normalcy that I've learned so many of us share.

In recent years, I've unsuccessfully tried to visit dad's gravesite on several visits back home, usually on the weekend. He was buried in '74, and while I was pretty sure where his grave was, I never could locate it. But now the cemetery office was open, so I had the specific location of his plot. I still couldn't find it.

I called over one of the workers, who showed me where to look on the markers for the plot numbers. It turns out his marker had sunk. "No problem," he assured me, they could raise it for me. The guy had only worked there for about three weeks, and when he and his coworker went to pry it up, the concrete base was broken in half. I'm pretty sure it happened right then, when they were prying it, but they hadn't cleared it sufficiently for me to be certain.

They don't use concrete anymore, because it deteriorates over time. So to mount the bronze marker on granite in place of the current concrete will cost around $800. Dad had other kids from previous marriages, but I've never known any of them, and my sister and mom have long since passed on. I haven't decided whether it makes sense to spend the money on his marker. That I know of, nobody other than me has visited the grave in at least two decades, so I figure there's no rush. In the grand scheme of things, I think I'll keep that money in pocket until after we replace our 45-year-old furnace and central air unit.

Pentecost!

This feast day is definitely one of the highlights of my year! Since the Holy Spirit transformed my life, and brought me to an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, I have loved celebrating this feast!

There is a scripture passage from today's liturgy that I can't help but feel is in need of a little expansion in our day. St. Paul tells us that "No one can say 'Jesus is Lord' unless he is under the influence of the Holy Spirit." Today, we toss the verb "say" around pretty loosely, partly because it has become so common to say things we don't fully mean or understand. Examples could fill a book! Of course, anyone can say any words at all. I believe what St. Paul must mean is that no one can profess "Jesus is my Lord" except by faith which is the gift of grace that can only come by the Holy Spirit's movement in an open, humble heart.

We're entirely too proud of ourselves to submit to the Spirit's transforming power. "Come, Holy Spirit! Fill the hearts of your faithful, and enkindle in us the fire of Your love! Lord, send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created, and You shall renew the face of the earth!"

Create me anew, O Spirit!

Great week

It has been a really great Easter season so far, and this past week has been the tops.

My mom's only sister

What pleasure!

lick
smooth
suck
creamy
nibble
taste
delicious
savor
revel
delight
swallow
the sensations far exceed words




i just love eating ice cream!