Dad's grave site

First of all, I was sure I must've blogged about some of this background info before, but can't find it to link to it.

"Dad" is a more complicated word for me than for most. When I refer to dad, I'm almost always referring to my adoptive father, who married my mom when I was about 3, I think, as opposed to my biological father - whom I've never met - or stepfather.

Anyway, dad was a tortured man, an alcoholic whose glory days of high school and semi-pro athletics were past, and whose adopted son was never going to be the athlete he had been. When he took his own life when I was 14, in some ways he did me a favor. I no longer had a dad who treated me with disdain. Mom went on to get involved with my stepfather a couple years later, who had some positive and terribly negative influence on my life, and I inevitably grew up despite all that, with the warped sense of normalcy that I've learned so many of us share.

In recent years, I've unsuccessfully tried to visit dad's gravesite on several visits back home, usually on the weekend. He was buried in '74, and while I was pretty sure where his grave was, I never could locate it. But now the cemetery office was open, so I had the specific location of his plot. I still couldn't find it.

I called over one of the workers, who showed me where to look on the markers for the plot numbers. It turns out his marker had sunk. "No problem," he assured me, they could raise it for me. The guy had only worked there for about three weeks, and when he and his coworker went to pry it up, the concrete base was broken in half. I'm pretty sure it happened right then, when they were prying it, but they hadn't cleared it sufficiently for me to be certain.

They don't use concrete anymore, because it deteriorates over time. So to mount the bronze marker on granite in place of the current concrete will cost around $800. Dad had other kids from previous marriages, but I've never known any of them, and my sister and mom have long since passed on. I haven't decided whether it makes sense to spend the money on his marker. That I know of, nobody other than me has visited the grave in at least two decades, so I figure there's no rush. In the grand scheme of things, I think I'll keep that money in pocket until after we replace our 45-year-old furnace and central air unit.