The third phase: Confirming

After the demanding decision-making there is a feeling of relief, but the Exercises do not end there but continue with the living out of this choice, which becomes reality in the daily existence of the companions. The paschal mystery (the passion and the resurrection stories of the gospel) constitutes the material for the contemplations in the rest of the Exercises, which like a diptych is divided between the Third Phase that deals with the passion of Jesus and to the Fourth that leads us to the resurrection. The two sides of the paschal mystery is in fact the place where the companions’ existence unfolds in constant tension between suffering and joy. They are called to fidelity to their chosen way and lifestyle in these varying circumstances. - Introduction to the third phase

Again, the structure makes great sense. All of our lives is an immersion in crucifixion and resurrection, so it makes sense for these remaining phases to be rooted in these wonderful mysteries of the church. I'm still thinking a lot about Fr. Neuhaus, and of the idea that I have learned from him that suffering is not merely a means to glory but is itself a glorification, if we enter into it with the proper spirit. We remain afraid of it, though.

I, for instance, do not wish to know the heartache of seeing my daughter in suffering and peril. Yet perhaps I may enter into this moment rather than shrink from it, knowing that the Father loved me enough to see his only Son bear far worse than this. I know that she is no more abandoned in her circumstances (emotional and, more urgently now, physical) than Jesus was in his, no matter how much they both may have experienced the feelings of being abandoned and afraid.

I wish that the liturgical calendar allowed for more contemplation of this phase, but as Fr. Neuhaus insists that our meditations about Good Friday should actually expand throughout the year because its implications certainly do, so I may come back to this phase to allow consider it at greater length.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 7

Comfort, comfort my people, 
says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and cry to her
that her warfare is ended,
that her iniquity is pardoned,
that she has received from the LORD's hand
double for all her sins.
A voice cries:
"In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD,
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."
A voice says, "Cry!"
And I said, "What shall I cry?"
All flesh is grass,
and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
when the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
surely the people is grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades;
but the word of our God will stand for ever.
Get you up to a high mountain,
O Zion, herald of good tidings;
lift up your voice with strength,
O Jerusalem, herald of good tidings,
lift it up, fear not;
say to the cities of Judah,
"Behold your God!"
Behold, the Lord GOD comes with might,
and his arm rules for him;
behold, his reward is with him,
and his recompense before him.
He will feed his flock like a shepherd,
he will gather the lambs in his arms,
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young. - Is 40:1-11

We generally get the first half of this passage during Advent. How appropriate to revisit it in the context of Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, and to thereby connect his Incarnation with his mission!

Our Shepherd has come to carry us home to him! He who alone is fit to judge us comes instead to be judged by us, to take upon himself both the judgment we deserve and the judgment we proclaim. (Thanks again, Fr. Neuhaus! Even during a Lent in which I am not rereading Death on a Friday Afternoon, I find that his insights into Jesus' crucifixion still resonate within me.)

I feel as if I am short-changing this wonderful reading, and this conclusion of the second phase, for the sake of the calendar. Still, this has been a good journey thus, one that has been marked by a longer period of graceful discipline than I have ever known. I pray that the remaining phases, though shorter than this one, may also be a time of continued hunger to know my Lord more intimately, even as he knows me.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 6

Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion!
Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem!
Lo, your king comes to you;
triumphant and victorious is he,
humble and riding on an ass,
on a colt the foal of an ass.
I will cut off the chariot from E'phraim
and the war horse from Jerusalem;
and the battle bow shall be cut off,
and he shall command peace to the nations;
his dominion shall be from sea to sea,
and from the River to the ends of the earth.
As for you also, because of the blood of my covenant with you,
I will set your captives free from the waterless pit.
Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope;
today I declare that I will restore to you double.
For I have bent Judah as my bow;
I have made E'phraim its arrow.
I will brandish your sons, O Zion,
over your sons, O Greece,
and wield you like a warrior's sword.
Then the LORD will appear over them,
and his arrow go forth like lightning;
the Lord GOD will sound the trumpet,
and march forth in the whirlwinds of the south.
The LORD of hosts will protect them,
and they shall devour and tread down the slingers;
and they shall drink their blood like wine,
and be full like a bowl,
drenched like the corners of the altar.
On that day the LORD their God will save them
for they are the flock of his people;
for like the jewels of a crown
they shall shine on his land.
Yea, how good and how fair it shall be!
Grain shall make the young men flourish,
and new wine the maidens. - Zech 9-9-17

I was wondering about the scripture quoted in the accounts of Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, and here it is in verse 9.

The prophesied peace which the Messiah brings is a very different one from what the people of Israel expected. We are set free from the waterless pit, and restored (double) to our rightful place in God. The Lord comes to save his flock, not by reestablishing a political kingdom.but by setting us free from the chariots and arrows, the assaults of our enemy which previously bound us up and oppressed us in our sin. The people of Israel believed the blood of the covenant to be that of the Passover and the law, but Jesus has established a new covenant by his own blood.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 5

Jn 12:12-19 - This session covers Jesus' entry into Jerusalem from St. John's perspective. One key difference in this version is the prominence of the raising of Lazarus as a motivation among the crowd praising Jesus. Another related one is how the concern of the Pharisees, already worried because of Jesus' popularity following his raising of Lazarus, is now confirmed by how the crowd welcomes him to the city. John alone of the gospel writers makes mention of Lazarus being raised from the dead, so he is the only one to tie the events of Jesus' entry and the plot against him to this miracle.

Today's word

refluent \REH-floo-unt\ - flowing back

I'm not sure a word could make much more sense.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 4b

Mt 24-25

When Jesus speaks apocalyptically, we can get in trouble trying to be too literal. Mt 24:2 was fulfilled, they say, when Jerusalem was destroyed around 70 AD. So rather than trying to read the tea leaves and figure out if the end might be near based on 24:2 through all of chapter 25, I tend to interpret all of verses to mean simply: don't be put off track; whatever happens, stay the course.

Of course, that depends on being on the right course to begin with, and that is largely what the warnings are all about. I try not to chase after the prophecy du jour. It seems as if many of my friends put their faith in reading the signs correctly and divining when some sort of catastrophe may be coming. The answer to that is easy: catastrophe comes daily to this broken world. That may seem defeatist and discouraging, except that the greater truth is that deliverance and love and healing come daily to this broken world, too, and the God I strive to serve is greater than whatever hatred this world hurls against him and his followers.

So yes, many come in his name, though very few today have the audacity to declare themselves the Christ (24:5). There are continual wars and rumors of wars (24:6), and nations and kingdoms continually at odds against each other (24:7), especially in the part of the world which Jesus trod, and there are famines and earthquakes. Many followers have been handed up to tribulation and put to death (24:9), and many have fallen away and hate each other (24:10). With teachers contradicting each other with regularity, each claiming to speak in God's authority, we are indeed beset by false prophets (24:11). Wickedness indeed seems multiplied, and men's love grows cold (24:12). The gospel has been preached throughout the whole world (24:14). I am certain that these predictions of Jesus have all been fulfilled for a very long time now. Perhaps most of these were addressed by the time of the fall of Jerusalem, though surely the gospel had not spread throughout the whole world by then. We fail to tend to his sheep when we focus too much on his return.

And so Jesus directs his disciples through a series of images (24:27-34; 24:46-51; 25:1-13; 25:14-30) to remain steadfast and wise in continuing to serve the master as we are called to do. The last lesson of these chapters (25:31-46) is the one by which reminds us to look for him in all those whom we encounter along the way.

I think of Fr. Neuhaus' insistence on referring to Jesus as "the derelict." We think it is an insult, because we fail to see our own potential for utter dereliction. When we see a bum, an addict, or even a thief or a murderer, we can't relate, and so we fail to recognize our brother or our sister, we don't see Jesus himself in them, wailing the lamentation that they lack the sense to cry for themselves. Fr. Neuhaus also wrote of "coming to our senses." It is as important for us as for the modern day derelict for whom we pray at a safe distance. When will Jesus return to us? Every day.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 4a

Okay, there's no way I'm going to try cover three chapters (Mt 23;24;25) in one sitting!

(23:1-3a) When God bestows the honor of a position, that honor remains even if the person who holds it doesn't live up to it. Elsewhere Scripture tells us that all authority is ordained by God, and we are to be subject to it even if we disagree with it (Rom 13:1), so this is not simply a matter of obeying bishops and pastors, although that is important, too. This tends to rub Americans the wrong way; we're not accustomed to the concept of sovereign authority. When a person acts inconsistently with what they propound, we tend to disdain their authority as well as their example. Jesus cautions us against this. It's a little easier for me since, early in my Christian walk, I recognized that even the worst homilist provided me a morsel of food to grow on in each homily. I came to recognize this as an example of what Jesus is talking about here.

(23:3b-39) That said, Jesus warns us against following the example of someone simply because they are in authority over us. I have learned this lesson, as well; each of my pastors has had some area in which their example would diverge from the example of Christ. Yet I have been blessed to be served by good-hearted men whose intentions are nothing like those of the brood of vipers whom Jesus chastises vehemently throughout this chapter.

A couple of specific lessons to be gleaned from this chapter:

(4) It is important to be on guard that the teaching and guidance we provide is not geared primarily toward our own ease. For instance, as a parent and now a grandparent, I see how sometimes I am tempted to direct the children's actions with my primary concern being to maintain an atmosphere in which I can do what I want to do. It is one thing to train them up in the way they are to go, and a different one entirely to train them to tiptoe lightly around me.

(5-12) It is about service, not honor. I'm not a parent and grandparent for the honor of it, but for the privilege of serving my children and grandchildren. I must do so with wisdom: some things that look like service are really enabling.

(13-39) Hypocrisy angers Jesus more than just about anything. I think maybe this is because it is the greatest obstacle to our keeping the two greatest commandments. When we think we're already loving God with all we have and are filled with a zealous indignation against our neighbor that keeps us from loving them, what can move us?

It's because . . .

The reasons our six-year-old granddaughter might have a permanent hearing loss:

• Mom and dad are too busy pissing at one another to really make the kids proper priority.
• Dad neglected to get her antibiotic prescription filled and to tell mom about it. 
• Mom is too wrapped up in her ADD to be willing to get out of bed to take care of her kids as she needs to, so waited 4 additional days to get her back to the doctor from when she knew she had to go.

I'm a wee bit angry, and am venting here because I just might assault someone if I don't. 

These precious kids are utterly dependent on the two of you gathering your defecation. If you can't do it on your own - and you clearly can't - then grow up and get the help your children need for you to get. They may be resilient, but they're also fragile, and you're breaking them.

Today's words

amphibology \am-fuh-BAH-luh-jee\ - a sentence or phrase that can be interpreted in more than one way

A lovely new word. I will be using this one!

persiflage \PER-suh-flahzh\ - frivolous bantering talk : light raillery

I doubt I'll use this word when "small talk" or "banter" will usually suffice without having such lofty aspirations. But I should at least recognize it by context in the future. Remembering the French pronunciation will be a different matter entirely.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 3b

Continuing in Mt 22:

(15-46) Again and again we see how the ulterior motives of the Pharisees and Sadducees interfere with their ability to simply accept Jesus for who he is, even when he answers them with wisdom that is so clearly beyond them. They are so afraid of the threat to their position - or, giving them a little more credit, perhaps to the temple's and their nation's continued existence - which Jesus represents to them that they are utterly absorbed in tripping him up. Their amazement at his ability to avoid their snares never leads to anything more than a cursory appreciation of his wisdom.

So while each of Jesus' answers in this section is primarily intended to reveal the depth of God's wisdom as contrasted against the folly of his questioners' motivations, they each also contain a nugget which is worth our consideration beyond the context of confrontation.

(15-22) We ourselves compromise with the world in so many ways, and then complain about the world's influence. Just Saturday I was putting down Game of Thrones ("It's so well-written and entertaining," my friend said) by hypocritically observing how I have gotten too old to accept a prime rib sandwich that has just a smidgen of feces as a condiment. Yet the truth is that my habitual weakness remains for unadulterated impurity. My friend and I are both rendering unto Caesar in different ways, but we're paying the same piper.

(23-33) Sometimes we worry too much about what we're going to miss in heaven. Will we get to spend eternity with our pets? With our loved ones? Will we have to do without alcohol for eternity ("In heaven there is no beer; that's why we drink it here;"), or partying? We fail to grasp that no good thing will be withheld from us there, or it wouldn't be heaven ("I'm going to go to hell with the sinners; that's where all the fun will be! No boring harp on a cloud for me!" ugh). What will be banished from our existence will be sin - even the ones we think of as merely "naughty fun" instead of recognizing for what they really are - and its effects. And we won't miss it in the slightest! We won't miss anything.

(34-40) Many today want to make the second greatest commandment equal to the first. Others use the first to break the second. We fail in each precisely because we fail in the other. Fortunately, God's mercy is greater than our failings.

(41-46) For those of us who believe that Jesus became the son of David because he is the Son of God, this is no riddle.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 3a

Looking ahead again, I see two steps on the Last Supper, so I will spend a bit of today and tomorrow on the scriptures of this step. Still looking ahead, I also see that the next session after this one covers three chapters of Matthew's gospel, consisting of Jesus' final teachings before his Passion. I think that locking the exercises to the calendar might not be such a good plan for this step! Again, revisiting it later is always an option, and I will be looking for a way to continue this discipline of walking daily with Jesus after I reach the end . . .

This session covers Mt 22.

(1-14) These verses cover a couple of different important ideas. The first illustrates again the dangers of allowing our own agendas be more important to us than the invitation which God offers us to know him intimately, personally, transformingly; to feast on the banquet of himself which he offers to each of us. We have been personally invited, but if we're too busy he isn't going to smite us; he just extends his invitation to those who are not so enamored of their lives without him. It isn't that we need to spend each minute of every day contemplating the divine reality in lieu of the physical one around us, but that we must always interpret our world in the context of the eternal one to which we are invited. When we focus on the former so intently that we reject the latter, we find ourselves left out of the feast, but God will not fail to fill the banquet hall with those who are glad to receive his invitation and to partake of his rich feast.

But some will try to enter without clothing themselves appropriately. I was in the room for a discussion the other day in which someone was taking offense that we conduct an all-night vigil between Holy Thursday and Good Friday, when the rubrics apparently call for such a vigil to end at midnight. This same person has cast aside the rubrics to celebrate Holy Thursday mass in the way that they have desired, feeling too musically restricted by our obedience to the guidance to conduct the service a capella after the Gloria. Personally, I find that hour of prayer in the wee hours of Friday morning to consistently be one of the high points of my year. My point in this is not to lament another's hypocrisy, but to observe how quick we are to cast aside those teachings that we feel impede us while holding fast to those that restrict others. God has provided all of us with appropriate garments to enter the feast, and God alone is equipped to tell whether a heart has embraced being clothed in Christ.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 2b

A few quick thoughts on the remainder of this session's scripture passage, Mt 21:12-46.

(18) After his overnight rest, Jesus is quick to return to the task before him. I need to be less irritated by the continual challenges before me and more appreciative of the breaks from them that God gives me, as well as of the affirmations he provides in the midst of them. Thank you, Lord.

(19-22) We aren't to be cursing the plants that provide our food, and Jesus himself didn't physically move any mountains around (am pretty sure I've just made this observation in a post about the Transfiguration, here's a link but there isn't much more there on this topic). Sometimes I take this scripture as an indictment of my faith rather than as a vision into the possible. And sometimes the first mountain that I must pray in faith for God to move into the sea is the mountain of my own habits, thinking and sin. That's what this beloved season of Lent is supposed to be about.

(23-27) It's pretty clear that Jesus is not just being asked about his day's teaching, but about all of the events that have led to his popularity, most immediately including his entry into Jerusalem and the casting out of the merchants from the temple, but certainly also such things as healing on the Sabbath and the other miracles he has performed. But he knows that those asking him have higher priorities than knowing him (the latter of which is, of course, the same thing as knowing the Truth).  I lament the too-ever-present reality that I often choose not to truly know Jesus because my own agenda is more important to me.

(28-32) It is obvious, then, that I am often too much like the second son. Jesus doesn't remove the mountain of impediment from my life because I lack faith, but more importantly, because I have lacked the desire to know him enough to let go of myself. I am too precious to me. This is the power in the prayer of St. Ignatius, in whose Exercises I allege to be engaged:

Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me. 

Lord, let me offer this prayer with my whole heart rather than clinging to those parts of myself that I deem more valuable to me than you are.

(33-45) The chief priests and the Pharisees are only partly correct when they perceive that Jesus is speaking about them, as we are when we perceive that he is speaking about us. For this parable is not primarily about the kingdom of God being taken from them and given to us, but is about the lengths to which the Father and the Son are willing to go to draw their beloved back into their love. It is limitless, and we can see that Jesus is speaking of himself when he speaks of the son who is sent and killed. It remains for us to humbly ask him to reveal those ways in which we are like the grasping, entitled tenants rather than like the humble eventual recipients of the Father's beneficence,

Too often missed in reading this passage: Jesus never says that they are right about the Father putting the tenants to death. He does not withdraw from them the opportunity to accept him even as they are plotting to kill him instead. Likewise, even as we are sinning against him he does not withdraw the opportunity from us to choose to love and follow and know him instead.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 2a

It's too late and too much, given my two immediately preceding sessions, to try to tackle all of this one (Mt 21:12-46) in a single take. These next few sessions are going to deal with teachings of Jesus between his entry into Jerusalem and his sorrowful passion. This passage seems to start immediately following Jesus' arrival in the city:

And Jesus entered the temple of God and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, "It is written, `My house shall be called a house of prayer'; but you make it a den of robbers." 

And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he healed them.

But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, "Hosanna to the Son of David!" they were indignant;  and they said to him, "Do you hear what these are saying?" And Jesus said to them, "Yes; have you never read, `Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast brought perfect praise'?"

And leaving them, he went out of the city to Bethany and lodged there. - Mt 21:12-17

One of the deacons in our men's group shared about how common corrupt practices in the temple had become. Over what may have been the course of centuries, what had begun as a service for the people outside the temple had become a means of taking advantage of them within the temple itself. Jesus had no patience with those who preyed upon others, and was driven by a heart of compassion toward those who were oppressed. This is the context of both the driving out of the money-changers and the healing of the blind and the lame in the temple.

Again, it has been too long since I spent enough time in the gospels. I had forgotten that the children's hosannas rang out in the temple as well as along the way. No wonder the chief priests were so filled with fear. This was happening right in the middle of the most powerful place in their nation. No wonder they thought the people were going to try to make him king! Not understanding (at all) who Jesus is, they are hoping that a sense of humility and propriety will cause him to shut them down, but Jesus is more than they know and will use their fear - and their willingness to do wrong in response to it - to carry out the mission for which he was born.

I suspect that verse 17 refers to Jesus taking refuge in the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Rest, my Lord, for the task ahead will drain the last drop of your strength.

Conforming (phase 2), - Jesus enters Jerusalem and the Temple- Concluding the Second Phase (step 21) - session 1

I should have paid more attention and started this step earlier in the week. There are seven scripture passages. I'll do what I can here, but there are other steps throughout Holy Week, so I may need to revisit some of this step later.

And when they drew near to Jerusalem and came to Beth'phage, to the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, "Go into the village opposite you, and immediately you will find an ass tied, and a colt with her; untie them and bring them to me. If any one says anything to you, you shall say, `The Lord has need of them,' and he will send them immediately." 

This took place to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet, saying, 
"Tell the daughter of Zion,
Behold, your king is coming to you,
humble, and mounted on an ass,
and on a colt, the foal of an ass."

The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them; they brought the ass and the colt, and put their garments on them, and he sat thereon. Most of the crowd spread their garments on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him shouted, "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!" 

And when he entered Jerusalem, all the city was stirred, saying, "Who is this?" And the crowds said, "This is the prophet Jesus from Nazareth of Galilee." - Mt 21:1-11

We'll hear a couple of "immediate prophecies" from Jesus this week; the situation with the colt is the first.

Yesterday at men's group we discussed how Jesus' perspective is so often so very different from our own. Each Palm Sunday I'm reminded of Michael Card's moving Ride on to Die, which reminds us that a city's lamentation underlies the praises of those welcoming Jesus to the city. We know that not enough people will accept him to prevent him being put to death within the week. (That I know of, the gospels do not necessarily indicate that these things happen in the same week. I'm not going down that rabbit hole right now, though it doesn't seem very deep.)  Even though he has tried to prepare his disciples, Jesus alone understands where these events are leading him. Still, he does not shrink back from the destiny for which the Father has sent him to us.

Blessed indeed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Let me not then crucify him with sinful decisions, with judgment that he has borne, with betrayal and denial and abandonment. Let me rather remain with him along the way, knowing my part in it but fully embracing his sacrifice.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus raises Lazarus and gets anointed at the supper in Bethany - AtaDc (step20), session 5

Well, I've let the weekend get completely away from me. I had some time today that I could have used to finish this step and start on the next one. Now I feel as if I'm rushing, but the next step needs to be covered today. So just a few words about the anointing at Bethany from St. Mark's perspective (Mk 14:3-9, with a brief thought about 10-11, too).

First of all, this story is very similar to the version recounted by St. Matthew. One difference is that Mark indicated that "some" became indignant, as opposed to Matthew's "the disciples." To me, this tends to support my previous supposition that maybe Matthew was among those who felt offended. I'm not judging Matthew for that, if he was, nor the others who were upset with the woman. We all need to learn Jesus' perspective, and we all are sometimes embarrassed at how slow we are to get it.

More important to me on this final reflection is Jesus' response, which is the same as whenever someone is accused in the gospels: gentle acceptance, and a redirection of the thinking of those who are doing the judging. Jesus role for all eternity is to answer the accusation against us, whether or not we are guilty of offense, and he doesn't fail to do so throughout the gospels. Then as now, it seems that women bear too large a portion of our accusation.

The final thought is also common to Matthew's gospel: this anointing in both Matthew and Mark occurs after Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem. I didn't realize this, in part because of reading John's account first. So in John's gospel, the events at Bethany inspire both Judas' betrayal and the procession into the city, but in these two only the former, as the latter has already taken place.

Today's linguistics fun

There's a great little tip-of-the-iceberg post on doublets on M-W's Words at Play blog. It's a rabbit hole, I warn you, with no end of branches and no bottom. The next place it led me is to this Wikipedia article, and I will probably get fired if I read the whole thing and keep going . . .

This was timely since the last few Words of the Day have been familiar.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus raises Lazarus and gets anointed at the supper in Bethany - AtaDc (step20), session 4

This is what I get for not looking ahead. In the previous session I ended up discussing the differences between the accounts of Jesus' anointing at Bethany, and now I see that these next two scripture passages are Matthew's and Mark's accounts of this event. First up: Matthew 26. I think the online retreat masters have omitted part of this one, though, as they've only specified verses 6-10.  Perhaps it was an oversight, because the remaining verses include another important idea.

Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head, as he sat at table. 

But when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, "Why this waste? For this ointment might have been sold for a large sum, and given to the poor."

But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, "Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me.  ¹¹For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me.  In pouring this ointment on my body she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her." 

Then one of the twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, "What will you give me if I deliver him to you?" And they paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him. - Mt 26:6-16

Besides the home where the anointing takes place and the anonymity of the woman, another difference in this version within the indicated verses is that it is not just Judas who takes offense over the outrageous generosity poured out on Jesus. Maybe Matthew was one of the apostles who shared in that feeling, or was more aware of how widespread it was among the disciples than John was. Of course, the part of Jesus' body which the woman anoints is different, too. Verses 11 and 12 are ideas included in both accounts, as Jesus mentions the uniqueness of this opportunity as contrasted against the ever-present reality of poverty and invokes his imminent death. Matthew includes Jesus' prophecy that woman's love for Jesus will be proclaimed as long as the gospel is, and helps make it certain by including it.

But the key difference at the end of this account is how Judas is immediately motivated to betray Jesus based on this account. St. John includes the role of Lazarus in both the people's celebration of Jesus in his subsequent entry into Jerusalem and in the chief priests' desire to put him to death, which are omitted here because there is no mention of Lazarus. But this account includes the extremity of Judas' indignation over this generous event.

It occurs to me this morning that this woman loves Jesus so much more and better than I do. I struggle to give him even a meager measure of obedience and purity of mind and heart, let alone the minimal treasure I share with him. I am hopeful that taking the Financial Peace University course will help my wife and I finally get on the same page in that regard, but it will not matter if I fail to be more aware of how my brokenness needs to become less like it has been and more like that flask: one extravagant gift broken to facilitate further extravagance.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus raises Lazarus and gets anointed at the supper in Bethany - AtaDc (step20), session 3

Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Laz'arus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. There they made him a supper; Martha served, and Laz'arus was one of those at table with him. Mary took a pound of costly ointment of pure nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the ointment. 

But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was to betray him), said, "Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?" This he said, not that he cared for the poor but because he was a thief, and as he had the money box he used to take what was put into it. 

Jesus said, "Let her alone, let her keep it for the day of my burial. The poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me." 

When the great crowd of the Jews learned that he was there, they came, not only on account of Jesus but also to see Laz'arus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests planned to put Laz'arus also to death, because on account of him many of the Jews were going away and believing in Jesus. - Jn 12:1-11

It's interesting to read the different accounts of Jesus' anointing(s) in each of the gospel. St. John is the only one to place this one in the home of Lazarus, Martha and Mary, rather than someone named Simon, and the only one to name Mary as the one who anoints Jesus. He does so even before telling the story of the anointing. (St. Luke is the only one not to place the anointing in Bethany, and mentions Simon the Pharisee, vs. Simon the leper in the other two synoptics. All but Luke also agree on Judas' irritation.

But all agree that the woman had a deep devotion and love for Jesus, that she was willing to express in extravagance of both expense and action.

It has been too long since I read through St. John's gospel; I had forgotten that the chief priests plotted against Lazarus, too. When Jesus submitted so humbly, was part of his motivation a desire to protect his dear friend whom the Father had so recently raised from the dead in answer to his request?

This reminds me of our understanding of prayer: to the Father through Jesus.

Tom T. Hall and some silliness

My mom was a huge country music fan, so I got a steady dose of it growing up. The twang in the voice of many country singers still keeps me from appreciating a lot of the music, but there were a few artists for whom I really shared her appreciation. One of then was Country Music Hall of Fame singer and songwriter Tom T. Hall, whose nickname was The Storyteller. While I was in high school he released a song that was subtitled The Cowboy and the Poet. Everybody knows it by its actual title, though, which was a reference to the first of the four things that really matter in life. According to the cowboy, they are:

Faster horses, younger women, older whisky, more money

Well, my brain is a strange thing, and every now and then, like last night before bedtime, it once again (as it is prone to do) started intentionally mixing them up in a variety of ways. So you have:

Faster women, younger whisky, older money, more horses

three of the four of which have their proponents, the last one in the additional sense of the amount of muscle under the hood of your car, or:

Faster whisky,  younger money,  older horses, more women

Well, there is something about that rush of new wealth, I guess, and if you're going to get hammered I suppose having the whisky work faster might be a good thing:

Faster money, younger horses, older women, more whisky

You get the idea.

A mind is a terrible thing. (raises glass:) To waste!

 

 

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus raises Lazarus and gets anointed at the supper in Bethany - AtaDc (step20), session 2

Many of the Jews therefore, who had come with Mary and had seen what he did, believed in him;but some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. So the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered the council, and said, "What are we to do? For this man performs many signs. If we let him go on thus, every one will believe in him, and the Romans will come and destroy both our holy place and our nation." 

But one of them, Ca'iaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, "You know nothing at all; you do not understand that it is expedient for you that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation should not perish." He did not say this of his own accord, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus should die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad. 

So from that day on they took counsel how to put him to death. Jesus therefore no longer went about openly among the Jews, but went from there to the country near the wilderness, to a town called E'phraim; and there he stayed with the disciples.

Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and many went up from the country to Jerusalem before the Passover, to purify themselves. They were looking for Jesus and saying to one another as they stood in the temple, "What do you think? That he will not come to the feast?" 

Now the chief priests and the Pharisees had given orders that if any one knew where he was, he should let them know, so that they might arrest him. - Jn 11:45-57

Even Jesus told his followers to listen to the priests but not to follow their example, knowing that God ordains the position to which they are assigned with proper authority. In this case, he spoke his words through Caiaphas, words which were in a sense uttered before the dawn of time and at which Jesus entered the womb of Mary to be born to die for the people. However, this does not afford Caiaphas any slack: his intentions are still unjust, even though God had planned to work through him all along in this way, seeing in eternity the decisions Caiaphas made in time.

The thing that struck me about this passage when we shared it last night was the role that fear plays in leading us into unjust choices. We anticipate the worst - in this case, that Jesus would cause the Romans to crush them as they had other unrepentant rebellious provinces before - so we become obsessed with how to avoid at all costs the eventuality we fear. Often the only certain way we can see to do so is an action or choice which we would be able to recognize as objectively unjust if we would simply stop weighing it against the "greater evil" that we fear. It clouds our thinking, and we end up trying to justify something that is plainly unjust. Thus the council decided what they should do about Jesus without giving full consideration to the wondrous works that we being done through him.

It is good for us that they did, for we have need of a Savior who is the resurrection and the life for us, who is firstborn from the dead that we may not perish, but have everlasting, abundant life. That is not to call their decision good or just, but to point out that God's plan already allows for every wrong, bone-headed, self-centered decision he has seen us make.

It is *hard* . . .

. . . to know that there is a significant percentage of the population that thinks the world would be better off if you were dead, and to not entirely disagree with them.

Eventually, obviously, they will get their wish - after all, I'm pretty sure I'm mortal - but I'm not going to take an active role in obliging them.

Two things from this morning

First item:

My nephew:

Van Hagar > Van Halen

I direct anyone who disagrees to these recent live recordings.

Me:

Agreed, but your argument is invalid. It's like arguing about who was a better athlete in their prime based on who's better now.

My nephew's friend:

Sorry--Wrong. Sammy Hagar was always a better singer than Diamond Dave ever was. Dave was a performer--nothing more. Sammy was a successful singer in his own right long before Van Halen. Sammy - Van Halen = Sammy. Dave - Van Halen = Nothing.

Me:

I'm not disagreeing with you *at all*. I never liked Dave precisely because he was all show. I'm just saying that using a recording made this decade as proof of that point isn't valid. I'm quibbling. Sorry.

If the reader didn't already know: I'm somewhat of a stickler for logic, and generally won't support a poor argument even if I tend to agree intellectually or emotionally with its conclusions.

Which is why this rant is problematic for me even though I am evidence of the false premise near the end of it. Second item:

Okay maybe he served his time or whatever but that does not change the fact that he did something to a child . . . . Sick bastards always do something again. Shoot every damn person that touches any child.

On one hand, I recognize the glaring flaw in the premises of the argument. On the other, I know that a poor argument doesn't equal a wrong conclusion. Emotionally, I've been dealing again with my teen-aged relationship with my stepfather, and that makes me vulnerable to this sort of rave.

You'd think I'd get past this over the course of a couple decades, given the evidence of my own life (and probably my step-father's, for that matter; I don't know that he ever abused another minor), but it's always a kick in my head.

Today I am fighting a desire to hurt myself.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus raises Lazarus and gets anointed at the supper in Bethany - AtaDc (step20), session 1c

More on the raising of Lazarus (Jn 11:1-44):

In session 1a we've already touched on Jesus as the resurrection and the life (verse 25) and how that ties into the previous step on Who is Jesus? But I think we underestimate all that it means for Jesus to be the life. I perhaps didn't treat this fully in the previous discussion of the Good Shepherd discourse - although how I could be accused of giving it short shrift has more to do with the abundant riches in that chapter than in my having not been thorough - in which Jesus said I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly (Jn 10:10).

The life we have without Jesus is no life at all. Jesus alone is life. All the rest of life exists for the sole purpose of leading us (all of us!) to eternal, abundant life in him. It is good for me to think about this when I have a tendency to lament circumstances that are really no tragedy because they have led me or are leading me more deeply in to the life of Jesus Christ.

Martha provides another link to the previous step when she describes Jesus as the Christ, the Son of God, he who is coming into the world, (verse 27) and again in the next verse when she tells her sister Mary that the Teacher is calling for her. Jesus shows us the Father; what more is there to be taught? And yet how much life it takes for us to know him!

A brief observation on the end of this passage: Jesus was willing to use a metaphorical stick to beat people over the head with when he thought it might help at least one of them, so he prayed aloud a prayer of thanksgiving that was solely intended for his human listeners. He does what we need to do to at least have the opportunity to respond to the resurrected life he offers us.

Today's words

jackanapes \JAK-uh-nayps\ - 1. monkey, ape  2a. an impudent or conceited fellow  b. a saucy or mischievous child

This isn't really a new word for me, although I'm not sure I'd ever seen a definition of it. I usually got pretty close to its meaning from context, although I'm not sure I didn't think it more sinister than mischievous. Even though it seemed straightforward, I was never certain I was pronouncing this correctly.

 limb \ˈlim\ - 5. a mischievous child

On the other hand, I'm almost certain I've never encountered this definition of this common word.

Today's bonus words

I love it when, without even researching it, I get an explanation for a word origin I've recently wondered about. When this blog entry for sanguine includes an explanation for phlegmatic, about which I've also wondered, it's a banner post!

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus raises Lazarus and gets anointed at the supper in Bethany - AtaDc (step20), session 1b

In this sub-session, some specific thoughts on this powerful passage (Jn 11:1-44).

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Laz'arus. So when he heard that he was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.  Then after this he said to the disciples, "Let us go into Judea again." 

The disciples said to him, "Rabbi, the Jews were but now seeking to stone you, and are you going there again?" 

Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If any one walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if any one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him." - Jn 1:9-10

When we are enlightened by light of Christ, we need not fear anything the world may to to us. Jesus taught his disciples by example that sometimes what we fear comes to pass, but the result is always greater than what we fear it will be. This is a good thing for me to remember in the middle of the night when Grace seems far from me. At least I was led to ask Jesus to illumine my darkness, to be present to me, even if I struggled to believe that indeed he was.

Then Jesus told them plainly, "Laz'arus is dead; and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him." - Jn 1:14-15

This is often how God answers prayer. Our faith is more important to God than any other need we think we have, even the life of our most beloved. In this case, Jesus knew he was being sent to raise his beloved friend, but it is not always so. The answer to so many seemingly unanswered prayers is so that you may believe - not in some miracle, nor in God because he has performed some miracle (though he may use these to bolster us), but beyond miracles. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe. - Jn 20:29

More later?

Today's words

All from today's Dictionary Devil puzzle:

embrocation \ˌem-brə-'kā-shən\ - liniment

Had probably heard this one before, sometime.

minyan  \ˈmin-yən\, plural min·ya·nim\ˌmin-yə-ˈnēm\ or min·yans -  the quorum required for Jewish communal worship that consists of ten male adults in Orthodox Judaism and usually ten adults of either sex in Conservative and Reform Judaism

I'd probably heard this one before, too.

moiety \ˈmȯi-ə-tē\ - 1a:. one of two equal parts :  half   b.  one of two approximately equal parts
2.  one of the portions into which something is divided :  component, part

I knew this one looked familiar, but didn't recall it. Then I did a search of my own blog, and there it was, in a catch-up post of Words of the Day that I'd missed on vacation, of which it was (obviously) one. I felt compelled to go back to that post and add links to each of those, and revisit the ones that still seem foreign.

Faster keyboards

For an example of when being less efficient is ultimately more efficient, see the title text.



I'm pretty sure I have such activities in my life.

Short poem in the dark

Huddled in the sleepless darkest before the dawn
Isolated in my grave bed and my still, always brokenness
Not daring to hope in resurrection or life
Desperately grasping at  straws: might the light of the world show up?

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus raises Lazarus and gets anointed at the supper in Bethany - AtaDc (step20), session 1a

In this step we contemplate the events leading up to the final confrontation between Jesus and his enemies at the last Passover. The climate of these last days as Jesus gets near Jerusalem becomes heavier and heavier. The situation of the companions is still similar to the contemplated events of the life of Jesus, as they face the seriousness of the consequences of the decisions they are about to make.

The raising of Lazarus is the most powerful of the “signs” Jesus gave to make [clear] his mission as giver of life[]. We can point out the parallel between the raising of Lazarus and the parable in Luke’s gospel on the rich man and the poor Lazarus (Lk 7:11-17). Also the poor Lazarus of the parable died and the rich man requested his return to warn the living of the necessity of conversion and faith. In John’s gospel Lazarus does return from the dead but not all believe, moreover, for the Sanhedrin this miracle of Jesus was the direct motive to seek to kill him. - Step by Step Retreats, Orientation to step 20

I'm going to take a session or two on the actual reading discussed in this second paragraph, but for now I want to just focus on this general context, especially since I just heard this reading (Jn 11:1-45) at Mass today. The scripture for the second session covers the remainder of the chapter, bridging this week to the events of Holy Week.

In the center of the Garden of Eden were the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. I believe it was God's plan all along for us to eat the fruit of this second tree, and knowing we would eat the fruit of the first tree he prepared before the foundation of the world to send his son to be the tree of life for us.

I also have wondered about the two Lazarus scriptures, and whether the Lazarus of the parable might actually be the Lazarus who Jesus raised from the dead. Jesus concludes that parable with Abraham telling the rich man that if we would not listen to Moses and the prophets, we would not believe even if one were to return from the dead. So it is for those who see Jesus as a threat because of the raising of Lazarus rather than as proof that he is indeed the resurrection and the life (which makes a nice tie-in to the previous step, Who is Jesus?). Skeptics say that seeing is believing, but people of faith come to know that it is the other way around: believing leads to seeing.

Oh, enough for now.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 7

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord." - Lk 4:18-19

Jesus reads from the scroll of Isaiah, and we find this passage at the beginning of chapter 61, though our translation of it doesn't quite match. Of course Jesus is primarily going to fulfill this by releasing us from our captivity to sin, helping us see our sin clearly for what it is and what it does, setting at liberty those oppressed by sin. The parallel in Isaiah includes that he will bind up the brokenhearted, which we see him do over and over again throughout the Gospels for those whose hearts are broken in so many ways, including broken by their own guilt.

I love Jesus for this.

Plenty has been written about the phenomenon of a prophet not being welcomed in his own country, so let me move to the end (entire reading: Lk 4:16-30).

And they rose up and put him out of the city, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw him down headlong. But passing through the midst of them he went away. - Lk 4:29-30

When individuals with great power are opposed, their response is often severe. It takes a truly secure person of power to respond gently and peacefully to those who dare to disagree with them. We sometimes focus so much on Jesus' humanity and his humility that we forget that he had more power over the physical world at his disposal than any person who ever lived. There is much he could have done to those who dared to cast him down. But Jesus didn't come to dominate us, he came to love us. No one is ever set free through oppression, and Jesus doesn't oppress us today. When we become angry that our prayers are not answered in the way we prefer, God does not smite us, but is patient with us. He calls us, and if we resist him he passes through our midst, simply awaiting another time he has prepared for us to be more open to his message for us.

If we are conforming to Jesus, we must seek to fulfill the anointing we share with him, not through miraculous works, and not responding in anger when we are rejected for doing what we can because it isn't all that the recipient might want.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 6

We hear this session's Scripture each year on the third Sunday of Lent, when we observe the First Scrutiny with the RCIA elect and candidates for full communion in the Church, so it is somewhat fresh in my mind from two weeks ago. John 4:1-42 relates Jesus' encounter with the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well. There is too much about Jesus in this reading to reflect on all of it on a day when I have much work to do around the house due to my wife's illness. I'm going to have to make due with a summary and a specific new observation or two that struck me when reading this passage once again.

The step titles this sessions, Jesus is Prophet, Messiah, the Anointed, and the giver of living water, and in summarizing that way it misses an important point or two. Nonetheless, it points out a valuable progression in our recognition of who Jesus is. First is the acknowledgement that Jesus is a prophet, one who speaks for God. The woman recognizes quickly, when confronted with the undeniable truth of her life, that this stranger she'd never met - nor probably even heard of - before has knowledge that is beyond human. Perhaps this is easier for her because Jesus doesn't dismiss or condemn her as he speaks her truth aloud to her. She doesn't acknowledge him as the Prophet, at this point, merely a prophet.

The next interchange between them has an interesting word difference in the RSV as compared to the NAB translation used at Mass when Jesus says You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. No need to get into the deep historical divisions between Jews and Samaritans here. I am instead struck by the use of the verb know, rendered in the NAB as understand. Perhaps the difference doesn't really apply here, but I have reflected at length - and I still can't seem to find the post which I thought focused on this idea most thoroughly - on things directly related to what it really means to know, in the truly biblical sense, a phrase we euphemistically resign to referring to carnal knowledge. I wonder whether the word know rather than understand might carry an undercurrent of intimacy of relationship with God rather than head knowledge about him.

This leads her to wonder whether Jesus might be the Messiah, or Christ, the Jewish and Greek words which are both translated as Anointed One. (This is similar to how the gospels treat Thomas, Didymus, and twin.)  This is a higher level of recognition, though at this point she seems to be speculating, as we might be in her shoes. When she bears witness to the townspeople who have shunned her - the passage itself doesn't specifically say this, but a significant amount of exegesis based on general knowledge of the region and culture as well as the woman's specific circumstances has suggested that this is why she would be at the well at this time of day and by herself - even if she herself has come to believe it to be true, she only dares to pose it as a question: could this be him?

Jesus often leads us by steps to more complete knowledge - there's that word again - of him.

This session title next describes Jesus as giver of living water, and of course he is. But in the shortcomings of language and analogy, he is also: the provider of the living water, the source of the living water (which flowed from his side as he hung dead on the cross), and he himself is the living water which quenches us. He is, in fact, the living water without which we die of spiritual thirst. We are living in a world full of such dead people, and we are supposed to be leading them to the Living Water the same way that Jesus did.

This passage contains a final aspect of who Jesus is in this passage which is not included in this session title. The step has mostly focused on titles by which Jesus revealed himself, except for session 5, and it has returned to that motif for this session. But the townspeople reveal a very important aspect of who Jesus is which is related to what was discussed in the previous session, that he is the Savior of the world. The Messiah was to be the Anointed One of Israel, the king to restore God's chosen people to a place of prominent witness to his greatness. These Samaritans recognize that Jesus' mission is greater than the people to whom Jesus himself said that he was sent, the children of Israel.

He is indeed the Savior of us all, and there is no hope to which we aspire which will not ultimately find its entire fulfillment in him.

True advice

People aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are. - Dr. Phil, as quoted by a reader of Carolyn Hax's live chat, 3/20/2015

or, " . . . as much as you think of them."

or, " . . . at all."

dammit

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 5

I'm going to take this session in a single reflection. This session addresses what are probably two of the most important answers to the first question in the title of this step - and certainly two that matter most to me.

The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" - Jn 1:29

This week one of the radio evangelists I sometimes hear during my short commute has been talking about this identity of Jesus, and to do so he has been talking about the Day of Atonement sacrifices of which Jesus' sacrifice is the fulfillment. In fact, I myself believe that the chief reason that these sacrifices exist under the Mosaic law is to enable us to recognize Jesus as the Lamb of God. The radio preacher described the thousands of lambs which were slaughtered on this single day each year, during which he says the lambs' blood would literally run in the streets. Jesus is both the great high priest who offers sacrifice once for all so that no more animal sacrifices are ever again required, and the lamb of sacrifice, the Lamb of God, sacrificed for our sins.

The preacher pointed out that there is a decidedly different emotional dynamic to our deliverance from sin in Jesus versus that provided under the law of sacrifice. There were sacrifices for sin made throughout the year, but what if we missed some? The Day of Atonement was intended to cover that, but as soon as someone committed some other sin they were bound by it until the next sacrifice. Jesus' sacrifice was one time for all sins, and we need never fear the punishment of them again. St. Paul is careful to make sure we don't interpret that as license to sin freely, but now it is a matter of our desire to respond to God's infinite love as completely as possible.

Someone like me may sometimes be tempted wonder, though, whether this entire belief system is just a way to help me live with myself.

"This is he of whom I said, `After me comes a man who ranks before me, for he was before me.' I myself did not know him; but for this I came baptizing with water, that he might be revealed to Israel." 

And John bore witness, "I saw the Spirit descend as a dove from heaven, and it remained on him. 
I myself did not know him; but he who sent me to baptize with water said to me, `He on whom you see the Spirit descend and remain, this is he who baptizes with the Holy Spirit.' And I have seen and have borne witness that this is the Son of God." - Jn 1:30-34

Were back to testimony again, a common theme in St. John's gospel, and St. John the Baptist provides the first public acknowledgement of Jesus' divinity in this gospel, besides the writer's own assertions at the beginning. The works of Jesus will serve as the greatest witness to the truth of his divinity. The reason that one sacrifice can suffice for all is that Jesus was both sinless man and eternal Son of God.

I agree with C. S. Lewis that Jesus intentionally leaves us with only two possibilities. He can't be merely a wise man, a sage whose wisdom is to be embraced but who has been deified , given what he claimed to be. Either he was a deranged nutcase or he is who the Scriptures proclaim him to be.

And so we are back to Jesus' own question to the disciples, and to us: Who do you say that I am? (Mt16:15, Mk 8:29, Lk 9:20)

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 4c

Got busy with visiting grandchildren last night and didn't complete this session then. Here 'tis:

This session's reading, Mt 17:1-18, seems to cover three events, and I've thus far reflected on the first two. But makes more sense to me to conclude the third with verse 20.

And when they came to the crowd, a man came up to him and kneeling before him said, "Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and he suffers terribly; for often he falls into the fire, and often into the water. And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him." 

And Jesus answered, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to me." And Jesus rebuked him, and the demon came out of him, and the boy was cured instantly. 

Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" 

He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, `Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." - Mt 17, 14-20

This portion seems to belong in the previous step as much as in the current one, as it deals with a healing. It seems as if Jesus is being unusually harsh with his disciples, but his efforts to instill greater faith in them make sense in the light of his impending Passion and their response to it. Jesus himself doesn't appear to have physically rearranged any mountains during his life on earth, though I'm sure he would have if it would have contributed to our faith. Presumably, this distressed father approached the disciples while Jesus had Peter, James and John with him for his transfiguration.

We're too refined to bother with demons today. The thing is, I suspect they're not finished bothering with us. I love the Unbound approach to deliverance ministry, in which the believer is led to renounce the things that he himself has accepted and embraced: ideas, actions and spiritual influences that he has allowed or even encouraged to influence his life. It is usually not so dramatic as Jesus' approach to them, but then we are not often blessed with the level of Spirit-guided knowledge that Jesus possessed.

But even this model draws heavily on the gift of faith that Jesus bestows on each of us. If we do not believe in our hearts that Jesus has won this victory for us, how can we bring it to bear its full power to transform our lives?

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 4b

And the disciples asked him, "Then why do the scribes say that first Eli'jah must come?" 

He replied, "Eli'jah does come, and he is to restore all things; but I tell you that Eli'jah has already come, and they did not know him, but did to him whatever they pleased. So also the Son of man will suffer at their hands."  Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them of John the Baptist. - Mt 17:10-13

John the Baptist being the fulfillment of this prophecy always struck me as a reach, but I think it is one of those things that we must believe before we can understand it. There is no record of John doing the kind of miracles which Elijah did, but again, such works from a prophet served primarily to prepare hearts to receive his message. John seems to have had a significant following, and he was blessed to proclaim the imminence and then the coming of the Messiah, a thing for which Elijah himself likely longed greatly.

But the thing that strikes me again in this passage is how our desire to avoid suffering contrasts with Jesus' acceptance of his. Jesus understood the unbreakable relationship between suffering and glory, and we want the latter without committing to the former. It was obviously not easy for him, not in anticipation and obviously not in the unfathomable actuality, yet he never shrunk from the task at hand. I am certain this is another way in which I should be seeking to conform my life and attitude to those of Jesus, and I rebuke the fear that begins to stir when I consider what that might mean.

I think of the example of a friend who begins to make the difference in a bunch of young people's lives. She has suffered through the challenges of being certified for the work to which she is called, and now suffers through the labor pains of bringing forth lessons that will reach these young minds with the knowledge and learning methods they will need to become the fully-equipped sons and daughters whom God dreams for them to become. There is wondrous glory to come, and perhaps she gets a glimmer of it already, like a Transfiguration moment.

Today's word

sprachgefühl \SHPRAHKH-guh-fuel\ (sometimes capitalized - a la German) 1. the character of a language  2. an intuitive sense of what is linguistically appropriate

What a wonderful word! I doubt I'll remember it if I ever have occasion to use it, partly because using it in most contexts (this being a rare exception) would violate my sprachgefühl. I imagine I may recognize it should I encounter it again.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 4a

I'm only breaking today's session into two pieces - okay, maybe three. The reason for this division will be apparent as soon as the reader looks at the assigned reading, Mt 17:1-18 (or my reflections thereon). This is another of those which causes me to wonder if

The first part of this reading is a parallel to the Gospel reading of the second Sunday of Lent this year (March 1st).  Since this followed the fourth Saturday of February, our parish men's fellowship group discussed the Transfiguration together at our semimonthly meeting. But new (for me) thoughts are occurring to me just from a quick glance at this part of the reading.

And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain apart. And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his garments became white as light. And behold, there appeared to them Moses and Eli'jah, talking with him. 

And Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, it is well that we are here; if you wish, I will make three booths here, one for you and one for Moses and one for Eli'jah." 

He was still speaking, when lo, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him." 

When the disciples heard this, they fell on their faces, and were filled with awe. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, "Rise, and have no fear."  And when they lifted up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only. And as they were coming down the mountain, Jesus commanded them, "Tell no one the vision, until the Son of man is raised from the dead."- Mt 17:1-9


First, the "and after six days" refers to their arrival at Caesarea Philippi and Jesus beginning to prepare them for his Passion and death. This is important context, I think, for this dramatic event.

Aside from their subsequent key leadership roles and their chronological primacy as disciples, I've always wondered: why just these three? I suspect its the same answer as "why doesn't everybody get to witness miracles?" God does what causes the most people to choose him for eternity! In some cases, Jesus makes clear that the reason a miracle happened was related to the faith of the recipient; I readily admit that my faith is so much less than that of many people I know. No Transfiguration moment for me, I guess. But my faith is not in my faith, nor in miraculous works; it is in my Savior.

As we observed in our men's group, at the beginning of this reading, the disciples may have been more impressed by Moses and Elijah than by Jesus. Perhaps it was a matter of either their familiarity with him or their pride over their place in him obscuring what a wonder they were witnessing. Maybe it was because they didn't yet truly understand or believe in who He is. Clearly he desires for them to have this glimpse of his glory, and the Father wants to make sure they don't miss the point: there is no need for three booths here, there is only One to follow.

Peter, James and John are terrified when they hear the Father's voice, as we should be. Yet Jesus' first word to them is the same as it has always been to those who tremble before him: do not be afraid. Jesus has reconciled us, and while that is cause for humility before him, it is also a comfort against the fear that always accompanies our realization that we are unworthy of him.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 3e

And I have other sheep, that are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will heed my voice. So there shall be one flock, one shepherd. - Jn 10:16

I think this will be my last reflection on this passage.

This is a passage for which all Gentile Christians are grateful. We remember how harshly Jesus told the Canaanite woman that he had come only for the lost sheep of Israel (Mt 15:24). Now he tells us that he has come for us, too. (After all, my 1/4 Jewish heritage would have been lost to me when my grandfather married my Irish-German Catholic grandmother and converted!) Some Christians judge (imprudently) that Gentiles have heeded Jesus' voice better than his own people have. But all such judgment runs counter to this image of the Shepherd who has laid down his life to bring us all into his one flock.

Okay, there could probably be more in these last two verses about Jesus laying down his life and picking it back up again, and by no means do I suggest that I have given this passage maximum value through the course of the day.

But I am grateful to you, my Shepherd, for blessing me with the chance to spend this day getting to know you more through these wonderful verses, for being my Shepherd, for laying down your life for a sheep who has too often been more like a thief, and for helping me to heed your voice.

Today's word

And now a break from John 10 to share a new (for me) word from today's Dictionary Devil puzzle:

postilion \pō-ˈstil-yən, pə-\ - one who rides as a guide on the near horse of one of the pairs attached to a coach or post chaise especially without a coachman

The puzzle described the "near" horse as the "left hand" horse and omitted any reference to the absence of a coachman. I can't imagine that I'll ever need to use this word in my own writing, but perhaps I might encounter it again in someone else's.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 3d

The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  He who is a hireling and not a shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf snatches them and scatters them.  He flees because he is a hireling and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my own and my own know me, as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. - Jn 10:11b-15

Parents know something of this. It hurts us so much to see our children hurt, even when it is due to their own choices, that we would rather bear the pain ourselves. I'm sure my mom often wished that she could have died in my sister's place. A hireling has no such ache in their heart over each sheep's welfare; he cares only for himself.

Each sheep that belongs to Jesus' flock is his own; I was bought by his blood when he laid down his life for me.

But I am afraid I am falling short on verses 14-15a. I am certain that it is true that Jesus knows me in every detail, better even than I know myself. But I am absolutely certain that I don't know him with anything like the intimacy with which he knows the Father. In this I need to conform my life more closely with his.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 3c

(and) the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers. - Jn 10:4b-5

I have written about this concept in different contexts from time to time, and won't revisit those thoughts here, exactly. A few different ones.

It seems to me that we often train ourselves to follow the voice of strangers rather than that of the good shepherd.

In the sense of God's universal love for each of his dear sons and daughters, we are all his sheep. But in another sense, what makes us Jesus' sheep is 1) knowing his voice and 2) following him. That voice gets easily mistaken amid the so-called enlightened thinking of the world, not to mention being drowned out by the shouting of our own leading.

All who came before me are thieves and robbers; but the sheep did not heed them. - Jn 10:8

What sensible sheep Jesus is describing. I'm afraid I have heeded too many thieves and robbers, even while alleging that I desire to follow only my shepherd.

I am the door; if any one enters by me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. - Jn 10:9

I guess when you're God, you're allowed to mix your metaphors. Or in the case of God and metaphors, he is always so much more than we can grasp that even the sum of all "both . . . and . . . "s in the history of human expression cannot begin to allow us to know him fully. In this case, in addition to Jesus being the shepherd whom the sheep follow, he is also the door by which we go in and out of the fold. We must do so, as he leads, going forth to find pasture and (since we are conforming to Christ) to shepherd others, returning to find a safe, restful haven. Only Christ is our way of safe passage into and out from the fold.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. - Jn 10:10

Now as shepherd once again: Jesus desire for his sheep is a life that we cannot begin to imagine on our own, one which we frequently misunderstand as a life of tranquil undisturbedness. If we are to follow him (Jn 10:4), we must understand that the way of the cross which we often avoid in fear is the only way to abundant, resurrected life.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 3b

(but) He who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens; the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him - Jn 10:2-4a

The gatekeeper does not enter the door to the thief and the robber, nor for that matter to the sheep themselves, but only to the shepherd. He calls us by name! He knows us personally and calls us so that we will respond to him personally. He doesn't just make a general call and then leave it up to each of us to decide how to respond it. Of course we choose to either heed or ignore it, but it is our individual response to a personal call, not a cattle call.

Jesus then leads those of us who follow him out of the fold, going in front so that he encounters danger before we do. We face no circumstance of grief, anxiety, pain or tragedy in our lives without our shepherd there in the midst of it with us.

And we follow him. We walk in the way which he has first trod, which he has prepared for us to walk in. The way is not too difficult for us, for the same Spirit which empowered him in his walk dwells within us and equips us for ours. We avoid going in other (wrong, dangerous, harmful) directions because we are following our shepherd.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 3a

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber; - Jn 10:1

I am so grateful that St. Ignatius gives me this opportunity to reflect on this wonderful passage from St. John's gospel (Jn 10:1-18). I think I will return to briefly address smaller pieces of this session at various times throughout the day, because there is so much rich imagery in these verses.

This step is about who Jesus is, for the purpose of giving us a chance to reflect on the ways that we long and pray to conform to him. I get the sense of this as an aching in my heart to be more like Jesus in one or more ways that I know I have not conformed my life to his.  So I think it is good to pause to consider the beginning of this section in a different context from what Jesus likely intended. We know that Jesus is likely contrasting himself against the spiritual leaders of his day who tended to place burdens upon the sheep rather than tending to their needs.

Yet it occurs to me that I myself have very much been a thief and a robber in the broken parts of my life, by which I hurt those I love.  Christ has delivered me from the worst of these in his grace, and the lesser of them he continues to work on patiently and lovingly.

This is a contrast of which it is good for us to be aware, so that we can choose to conform to Christ instead of continuing along our natural tendencies.

Holes

Oh, the little things that blindside you. A friend just posted on FB that he was listening to a Styx song, Crystal Ball, and what a great tune it was.

My first reaction was enthusiastic agreement, and the realization that I haven't listened to them in years.

My second was the recollection of why I don't pull out their music more often: the only concert I ever went to with my sister was Styx. She was crazy over them, and I took her to see them in 1979. Hard to believe that this year will mark the 27th anniversary of her death.

It's also hard to believe how much of a self-absorbed jerk I was a quarter century ago. I had a good friend who was always less than appreciative of my favorite piece to show off my guitar skills: Suite Madame Blue. Turns out that she'd had a traumatic experience while it was playing in the background. Didn't keep me from playing it in front of her, though. I guess I'm grateful that I'm not that guy - or the worse one - anymore.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 2

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." 

The Pharisees then said to him, "You are bearing witness to yourself; your testimony is not true." 

Jesus answered, "Even if I do bear witness to myself, my testimony is true, for I know whence I have come and whither I am going, but you do not know whence I come or whither I am going. You judge according to the flesh, I judge no one. Yet even if I do judge, my judgment is true, for it is not I alone that judge, but I and he who sent me. In your law it is written that the testimony of two men is true; I bear witness to myself, and the Father who sent me bears witness to me." 

They said to him therefore, "Where is your Father?" 

Jesus answered, "You know neither me nor my Father; if you knew me, you would know my Father also." These words he spoke in the treasury, as he taught in the temple; but no one arrested him, because his hour had not yet come. - Jn 8: 12-20

I find this interchange between Jesus and the Pharisees fascinating. On one hand their logic seems flawed: there is a difference between saying, "we cannot believe you if you alone bear witness to yourself," and "your testimony is not true." On the other, there is validity in their point of view, which makes more sense since Jesus himself had already said, If I bear witness to myself, my testimony is not true.  (Jn 5: 31)  He then went on, though, to point out that the works which the Father allows him to do bear witness that the words he speaks are true. This is what keeps the remainder of his argument here against the Pharisees from being absurd, as it would have been from the mouth of anyone who hadn't performed such wonders.

This foundation of testimony and witnesses and veracity also makes St. John's words near the end of his passion narrative - which seem non sequitur when we hear them on Good Friday - make more sense: He who saw it has borne witness -- his testimony is true. (Jn 19:35a)  In fact, it makes it more clear how the entire structure of St. John's gospel serves the purpose he announces near the end of his gospel: Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in his name. - Jn 20: 30-31.

I doubt that this is the main reason for including this reading in this step of the Exercises, though, except to underscore the point at the beginning of this passage: "I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." - Jn 8: 12b. This is who Jesus is, and we are to believe this because of the testimony of the Father in the wonders that Jesus worked as recorded by this eyewitness, and therefore we are to choose to live in the light of life.

If one judges only by the testimony of the words of this blog, one might conclude that I am having a good Lent, walking daily in the light of God's word as I respond to his loving call to holiness. Unfortunately, the testimony of my thoughts and my self-indulgence would bear witness to a less favorable truth: that I have squandered this entire season of retreat by refusing to fast in the desert, sinfully scorning Jesus' call to purity and selflessness. In some ways it has been the antithesis of prior years, in which my Lenten desert journey has often been the high point of my year. This year I feel that I was doing a better job of conforming my will to that of Jesus before this holy season began. But I had a full household then, so perhaps I am mistaking a lack of opportunity for something more honorable.

Lord Jesus, light of the world, come illumine my path, and help me walk with my whole life in your light.

Today's words

arbitrage \ˈär-bə-ˌträzh\ - 1. the nearly simultaneous purchase and sale of securities or foreign exchange in different markets in order to profit from price discrepancies  2.  the purchase of the stock of a takeover target especially with a view to selling it profitably to the raider

In enjoying the comedic example of this word as used in yesterday's xkcd, I failed to realize that this wasn't a word that was actually a part of my vocabulary. Oh, I got close to its meaning from context, but didn't have it quite right. My tendencies in pronunciation are to either mispronounce the final syllable or to over-stress it.

inveigle \in-VAY-gul\ - 1. to win over by wiles : entice  2. to acquire by ingenuity or flattery : wangle

And today's WOTD is another that I have always gotten from context, on the several occasions when I've encountered it. I've never been as never certain of its pronunciation; I keep wanting to make the "g" silent, but have never looked it up. I hope I'll remember when I see it again.

Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 1

In this Step we contemplate the identity of Jesus, first how he defined himself, then also what others discovered in him. - Orientation and meditation, step 19

I have had a personal encounter with Jesus and have been learning who he is for over a quarter century since. But anyone who suggests that they know Jesus because they have walked with him probably hasn't even met him yet. This will be a good step!

The gospels present Jesus not only through stories such as  Healer and Exorcist but call him Son of Man, Son of God, Rabbi or Teacher, Lord and in the book of Revelation he is the Bridegroom of the Church, the Lamb, and the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the faithful witness, Alpha and Omega and so on. Similarly you can find a lot of definitions in the various letters in the New Testament and  in writings throughout the history of Church. Below we will list some texts for the upcoming prayer sessions, but the companions can continue to find who is Jesus in the Scriptures. - ibid.

I think, too, that this step will be one for me to revisit when I have completed the Exercises for the first time, as each title and revelation of Jesus helps us to know him more intimately and provides us with another way to choose to be conformed to him.

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. - Jn 14: 5-6

Each of these three titles Jesus uses to refer to himself is worthy of a full meditation, but that will get me too far behind on the calendar. Since I get to return to this step later, perhaps that will allow for further treatment of this passage, if I am still so inclined at that time.

I start with my namesake, who deserves so much more attention that the "doubting Thomas" moniker with which we one-dimensionalize him. This is an earnest query, I think. It is true for all of us that we don't know where Jesus is going, and therefore do not know the path before us.

I am the Way.  It has been true from the beginning. The eternal Son has always been his people's way throughout all of salvation history. (Listing them all would be exhausting!) No matter how often we lose our way, when we seek Jesus we find the Way again, for he will always be the Way. Do I not know the way through grief and pain? Let me embrace my Lord and he will carry me through it in ways that I will not even fully understand in retrospect, in this life, at least. Do I not know the way to forgive another? Let me receive my Savior's forgiveness knowing how undeserving I am of it, and beg him to help me forgive when I know not how; he will make a way of forgiveness. Do I not know the way of his will? Let me ask him to finish conforming my will to his, and then examine my own will with an eye wary for signs of self-interest. Do I not know how to live out his love in the life to which he calls me? Let me look to lay down my life and take up my cross, and he will return my life to me filled with joy that can only be provided through my cross and which I cannot hope to anticipate.

I am . . . the Truth.  How often we get swallowed up in what we perceive to be the truth of our life, only to discover later that we were focusing on only the tiniest piece of the truth rather than the Truth which holds all truth. (Thanks Fr. Neuhaus.)  The enemy's most fruitful work is to focus our attention on the truth and help us lose sight of the Truth. He may be the father of lies, but his best lies are a misinterpretation of the truth that ignores the Truth.

I am . . . the Life.  We cling to this life and its experiences, full of fear that it will slip away from us without our having done all that we long for. In our fear, we mistake experiences for Life. We rebel against God, certain that he is depriving us of joy when we are really longing for is a choice of death instead of Life. Jesus is the Life, and as we walk in him he provides us with everlasting life, which he intends for us to have to the full (Jn 10: 10).  Sometimes we must lay down our life as we understand it to receive Life as only he can give us and only inasmuch as we do not insist on preserving our own life (Mt 16: 25, Mk 8: 36, Lk 9: 24).

There is so much more to be said about each of these, but perhaps my post-cycling heart rate will now allow me to fall asleep!  Lord, please let me awake refreshed in the morning, determined to embrace you as my only way, truth, and life!