Passive aggressive

So far this week I have been criticized for:

• buying limes for mixed drinks. okay, this was a little frivolous, but only a little.
• overestimating the amount of ground beef we needed for tacos. okay, there was some left over, but it's all gone now.
• wanting to make a salad to have with the bbq chicken sandwiches last night; "nobody will eat it," she insisted.
• underestimating the amount of chicken we needed; I bought the same amount as the ground beef for tacos, and again, there was some left over, though not as much and maybe everybody didn't eat as much as they would have if there'd been an abundance.
• buying mushrooms for the salad last night.
• making "WAY too much" salad, she further insisted; there ended up being enough left for one bowl of salad, unless our son-in-law ate it, since he doesn't eat his meals at normal time
• chiming in with "SNORT" too loudly when mommy was reading Are You My Mother to the kids last night at bedtime, since one of the kids was asleep in the next room. but it wasn't his mother who complained.
• getting bent out of shape over being repeatedly criticized.

All of these criticisms have, of course, come from the same person. I don't think she should really have any complaint about my contributions to the expanded household, which I have made with a gentle heart, not a resentful one.

I think it is because she feels out of control of things. But the one thing I have found difficult to not resent is being the safe outlet for her frustrations when they are expressed in the form of serial unfounded criticism. And I'm sure that some of this is because I cannot always be on her side. She insists on treating our "on the spectrum" grandchildren as she would any other child. Unfortunately, we can't expect that to work.