One of the central themes of our family therapy program was learning to manage our home so as to minimize chaos. Of course we can't eliminate it totally; after all, life happens. But as an unhealthy family we tended to act in patterns that increased the level of chaos rather than resolving it. Making conscious decisions about what activities we were going to be participate in, rather than getting our lives over-committed on a regular basis, was an important aspect of our family's emotional health. Another was for each family member to learn what we were responsible for, and to take responsibility for our own areas and let go of things that were outside our own purview. Directly related to this was not allowing other family members to create unreasonable burdens for us.
I am grateful to live without the chaotic dynamic which was part of our family dysfunction and a contributor to our general unhealthiness.
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