Songs I lie

There are songs of praise and worship that I sing with all my heart, yet know in my mind as I do that I have always, always fallen short of them in my life. We sang one last night:

Lord, you are more precious than silver
Lord, you are more costly than gold
Lord, you are more beautiful than diamonds
and nothing I desire compares with you.

Another springs immediately to mind:

Refiner's Fire,
my heart's one desire is to be holy,
set apart for you, Lord
I want (choose) to be holy,
set apart for you, my Master,
ready to do your will.

Yet, when the rubber meets the road, I find that I frequently choose other things than those I know best please God, that would allow me to be like a tree planted close to the stream, whose roots would take sustenance from their proximity to the source of their life. I protect the idols I must smash to remove their influence over my life. I insist on acting as if God is depriving me of good things, things I value and treasure - often inappropriately - rather than trusting that every good thing in my life is from God and turning it all back over to him knowing that God will not deprive me of anything that I need. I want what I want, which is sometimes to embrace the world's attitude toward myself and the people and things around me.

It seems that Advent will be timely for me once again. Perhaps my heart should enter into this season a bit early this year.