. . . Please tell me who I am . . . And bad mistakes? I've made a few. . . . I've made a few eternal decisions: marriage, abuse, accepting Christ . . . The nights aren't even cool, though Friday at the ball game had a bit of a nip in the air . . . i suspect i will probably die in autumn.

Through autumn's golden gown we used to kick our way.

sometimes i feel as if i'm living by inertia.

what if this life was all there is? would i still want to live the rest of it?  there has been such great joy, but it seems so far from me.

my dad drowned in a sea of alcohol. what is this sea of mine?