So, our daughter unapologietically took financial advantage of us for nearly a year. When we suggested it was time for her to get financial counseling so that she could meet her financial responsibilities, including to us, she announced that she was suddenly able to afford to move out. Now that she finds herself in legitimate financial straits, what course of action truly benefits her best?
My initial evaluation was that it would probably be best for her if we give her the one of the most important gifts a parent can give a beloved son or daughter: the gift of being responsible for herself. This isn't a matter of being pig-headed about her lying in the bed she's made, with a hint of bitterness. Working though her own issues to arrive at her own best solution still strikes me as the best thing we can do for her.
Yet she's going to be car-less if she doesn't do something.
But it will be important for me to not feel pressured into paying for decisions I don't agree with, too. I'm not going to help her pay Brownie's IT double to rebuild her transmission what our mechanic would charge her for a junkyard transmission, just because she wants the perceived security that comes with the former. If she was footing the bill for that security herself, then it would be her decision to make.
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