Our trip was pretty wonderful, overall. A farewell hug from our old Air Force friend's wife didn't seem at all reserved, in contrast to the greeting, so I guess that was just me? The visits with my high school/college friend and her husband (we saw them twice) were also very nice.
Still, there was a weird moment in our visit with them, for me, when we were at dinner on Thursday night. First, an old (and long) story. The prelude: though I'd had a silly crush I had on her as a naive HS freshman (whose dad had suddenly and mysteriously died just the previous month), we evolved into the closest of friends in college. I also developed romantic feelings for her, very different from my crush years before, but she was dating her eventual husband by then, and I respected her need to respect that relationship. I reunited with and married my high school sweetheart, joined the Air Force, and moved to MS with my new family in 1981.
End of prelude, start of story: When my granddad passed away - I'm thinking it was 1983 - I was a low-ranking airman. We got help from the Air Force Aid Society so I could go home for his funeral. At some point while I was there - maybe after the funeral? - I was having lunch with my HS best friend at Burke's, a Baltimore near-landmark that closed earlier this year. I'd been there several times before with my step-father, with and without my mom. As we were getting ready to leave, I heard a shocked exclamation from a familiar voice. It was my college friend, who was in town visiting with her family. As we were talking, her eyes grew wide as she realized that she'd dreamed that very scene just the night before, but I was only in it as an obscured presence; she knew someone was there with our HS friend but couldn't tell who, as the person was hidden behind the pillar next to which I was standing. I think our friend went back to work from there, and she and I spent the afternoon together. We went to the still-new Harborplace mall, the linchpin of Baltimore's urban renewal, which had opened before I left town but I'd never really visited. At some point I mentioned a fantasy series I was reading that she'd already finished. I'd just finished the penultimate book in the series. The last one had recently come out, and I was waiting for it to be released in softcover. She bought me a copy as a gift, so I wouldn't have to wait. I was leaving the next day; she took me to the airport after a stop at the Market House in Annapolis for breakfast. The whole unexpected encounter just underscored the closeness we'd shared.
So I mentioned this episode on Thursday at dinner. She remembers none of it.
It's probably good that we'll never be that close again. I share an emotional connection with my wife that was missing from our life together back then. Maybe what I felt with her was something of a substitute for what I was otherwise lacking? But our time together with our spouses this past weekend felt more like what I think our friendship should really be like.
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